Sad eyes
by Djuro
Summary: Tori woke up one morning with a new ability. A "gift" that she never imagined possible. She can see and feel the pain of the people around her. That "gift" will both help her learn more about the people around her. About the problems Jade, Beck, Andre, Robbie, Trina, Cat and the others have. But that gift comes with a price. Rated M for content. Read and Review.
1. Not the usual day

Sad Eyes

The sharp sound of the alarm clock filled the room as a tanned hand reached up and taped the button to shut it off. The girl threw the covers off of her and slowly sat up, moving her legs over the edge of the bed and slowly lowering them on the cold floor of her room. She leaned down on her knees, contemplating if it is even worth getting up.

She stood up and made her way towards the door, opening it carelessly. She knew that nobody was home, so she didn't care if she was loud. She made her way into the bathroom and took of the tank top and shorts she had been sleeping in. She looked at her image in the large bathroom mirror, seeing how her eyes were swollen from all the crying in the last few days.

She stepped into the shower and turned the hot water on, a sharp sensation of cold hitting her first for a moment before slowly becoming warmer and warmer, soothing her skin and calming her nerves and mind at least a little. Memories of what happened two weeks ago hit her again as they did every moment where she was alone, left to think about the situation. She remembered the yelling, the accusations and finally the separation. She felt like crying again, but stopped herself. She had cried enough in the last two weeks. She didn't want to do it anymore.

After fifteen minutes she stepped out of the shower and dried herself of with a towel before wrapping it around her slim body. She did her hair and applied light makeup, just enough to cover her tired features before she walked back into her room and opening her closet. She took out tight, dark jeans and a red t-shirt, placing them on the bed as she took out some underwear and got dressed.

She walked downstairs into the empty living room of her family house. She remembered how not even two weeks ago she would have been greeted by her mom and dad as they would have breakfast and coffee at the kitchen table. She remembered how she would join them while waiting for Trina to wake up and get dressed and how she would hug them both before heading off to school. Now, it was only a memory. She felt a single tear form itself, but she quickly brushed it away so it wouldn't ruin her make up. She walked out of the house towards her car, happy that she at least got her license and wasn't dependent on anyone.

She turned on the radio, playing her favorite radio channel that played great morning music, slightly improving her mood and hopefully preparing her for going through with her day as usually. She didn't tell any of her friends how her family had fallen apart. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to deal with it. For now, the illusion that she would come home one day and find everything as it used to be was what kept her going.

After a short ride, she parked into the school's parking lot and got out of the car before locking it and walking towards the only place that could distract her long enough from the harsh truth that is reality.

Tori stopped in front of her locker and opened it after entering her combination. She took out the books for her first class of the day as she saw her reflection on the small mirror in the locker door. She let out a small sigh before looking back at it and placing her façade smile on as she did for the last few days. Being an actor definitely had it's advantages, and she was enjoying them right now.

"Good morning, girl." She heard the familiar voice behind her, turning around to face her best friend who was playing his combination to open his own locker.

"Hey." She said weakly, getting his attention with the lack of the usual strength that always graced her voice.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he closed his locker and stepped closer. She scolded herself for not showing more enthusiasm.

"Just tired. Couldn't really sleep that well last night." Tori told him. It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either. And she didn't want to handle the whole truth yet.

"Alright then. See you at songwriting." He said before he walked off to his class.

Tori let out a sigh of relief, both happy and disappointed. She didn't want to talk about her situation, but she was also disappointed that none of her friends seemed to notice that something was wrong. She slightly chuckled at her paradoxical state of mind. Despite avoiding her issues as much as she could, she wondered if anyone really cared about her. Nobody even seemed to assume that something wasn't right. Nobody even remarked about her being quieter and less talkative in the last few days.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she suddenly ended up butt first on the floor. She looked up and saw a guy standing there.

"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." Tori said as she grabbed the books from the floor.

"It's alright." He said as he crouched down and picked up some of the papers. He stood up and offered his hand to help her up. She took it with a small smile because of the polite and helpful gesture as she took his hand. The moment she did, something overtook her.

"_Do you need anything, sir?" A lady in a uniform asked while the young man only shook his head no. She nodded with a smile and walked away as he leaned into his seat while the sound of the engine filled the plane. He looked through the window, taking a last glance at his hometown. _

"Anyone there?" She snapped out of it as she saw him waving his hand in front of her face. She looked at him and noticed that she was standing now, not even remembering that moment of her standing up.

"Um, I'm late for class. Bye." She said as she sped off towards her classroom. She walked inside and sat down in the empty chair in the back of the classroom. She didn't understand what just had happened. What she had just seen. She didn't imagine it. It seemed real. It seemed like a memory. Like his memory. But it wasn't possible. She had not seen him before in school; she had not talked to him. She didn't even know his name. So why was she suddenly having visions about someone she didn't know?

She didn't even notice the teacher walk into class and begin it. She tried to follow, but gave up after a few moments, not able to focus on anything going on in front of the class. Her thoughts drifted away again towards what had just happened. She hoped that she wasn't going completely crazy now. It wouldn't surprise her if she actually was. Seeing her family torn apart had to leave a mark after all.

"_I'm sorry sir, but we have to increase the interest of your loan by two percent." A man in a suit said as the teacher sighed in the chair before nodding. They shook hands as he walked out of the bank and towards the first bar."_

"Miss Vega, would you please pay attention to my class." The teacher said as he patted Tori's arm, having noticed her spacing out.

Tori snapped out of yet another vision, looking up at her teacher in a loss for words. She didn't understand what was happening to her, and it scared her to death.

"I'm sorry. I need to go to the bathroom." She said as she got up and walked out of the class, not bothering to wait for the teacher to approve it. She walked into the bathroom and towards one of the sinks, switching the water on and splashing it on her face a couple of times, breathing heavily and trying to calm down.

Why did she just see her teacher talking to someone in a bank? Why did she suddenly have those visions? She shook her head, trying to clear her mind and make sense of the situation. She noticed one thing, which was that the visions always came when she had physical contact with someone. The first time was when she took the guy's hand to get up, the second time when the teacher patted her on her arm to get her attention.

Why was it happening now all of the sudden? It never happened to her before, so why now? Why was that happening while she already had a so much going on already? She slid her hands through her hair in desperation before resting the palms of her hand on her face, trying to calm down and collect herself again.

She walked out of the bathroom after a few minutes, having finally calmed down and made the decision to avoid any physical contact for now. She didn't want to deal with it, and she mostly hoped that it would be gone as soon as it had appeared.


	2. The Midas touch

Tori walked to her locker, having finally calmed herself down. She entered her combination and opened it, taking out the white hoodie Andre had given her one day when she was cold and she decided to keep in case she was cold again. She put it on, glad that it was a few sizes to big for her so it would cover as much of her body as possible. She walked back towards her classroom and sat down in her chair.

"Are you alright Miss Vega?" The teacher asked, having stopped his writing on the board when he noticed Tori walk back in. "You look a bit pale."

"Yes, just didn't catch a lot of sleep lately. I'll be fine." Tori answered. He nodded before turning back to the board and continuing to write on it.

Tori thought about what had happened, and concluded that it couldn't be a one time deal. It happened two times with different people. The first was a new student she didn't even know and hadn't met before while she didn't know her teacher had financial issues. She also thought about how short those visions were. They lasted only for a few seconds and were blurry. The other people around them were all blurry except the guys and who they were talking to. Everything else was in a type of fog that was unnaturally white.

Tori began biting the top of her thumb, wondering why exactly she had seen those memories. The teachers she could even understand. He seemingly had taken a loan from the bank and now because of the crappy economy he would have to pay back more then he already is. His face had read defeat as he had walked out of the bank and the next thing she saw was him walking into a bar not to far from the bank. She looked at the man talking to the class, who had been talking about the life and works of Dante and how his works had impacted the world of literature. She never assumed that the man had financial issues, but then again, a lot of people have in today's day and age.

What she didn't understand is the vision of that other student. He was sitting in a plane, ear buds in his ears and listening to some calming music. She remembered his painful expression as he looked out of the window at the city he was leaving. Since he is here, he probably moved from somewhere to LA.

Both visions had one thing in common. They were all painful memories to the person. She wondered if that was it. If she was seeing someone's biggest cause of pain. What else could it be?

She decided to give it another try. She tapped the girl sitting in front of her on the shoulder to get her attention.

"Huh?" The small blonde uttered as she turned around to Tori.

"Hey, do you have a spare pen. Mine stopped working." Tori lied.

"Sure." The blonde said as she leaned to her bag next to her chair and pulled out another pen after a few moments. She turned around and held it towards Tori.

"Thanks." Tori said as she gave her a small smile and took the pen, making sure her hand was touching the girls. That moment, everything went bright in front of her eyes again.

_The girl was walking through the streets of LA, smiling brightly while carrying two small bags in her right hand and something to eat on the other. Her smile disappeared when she looked across the street, seeing a guy kiss a girl. Tears slowly made their way down her cheeks as she lowered her head and walked away as she took of a small bracelet that had the letters "M+T" carved in them._

"Uhm, you okay?" The blonde asked, snapping Tori back into reality.

"Yeah, just spaced out for a moment. Thanks again." She said as she took the pen and leaned back in her chair. She slowly pulled her sleeves over her hand and looked back at the small blonde that was sitting in front of her. Tori understood what she had just seen. The girl had seen her boyfriend cheat on her. It was like in a dream, the horizons being a white fog while the streets of LA were filled with faceless people except the girl, her boyfriend and the girl he had been kissing. She saw the girl fall right there, that moment, from her bright, genuine smile to the deepest low hitting rock bottom.

Tori let out a small sigh as she couldn't deny it anymore. Three times the same things happened with different people. And it all seemed so real because it was real. Whenever she made physical contact with someone, for whatever reason she would see their most painful memory. Moving away from home, worse financial situation, getting cheated on… those are all things that break people down.

Tori stiffened at the idea of her Midas touch. Every time she shook hands with someone she would read their memories and see their pain as if they were put on a large screen in front of her. Every time one of her friends hugged her she would see their worst memories and biggest pains.

Her eyes grew wide at the realization. Whenever she made physical contact with one of her friends, she would find out something about them she didn't know. Something she maybe shouldn't know. Something nobody else is supposed to know. Tori bit her bottom lip as she thought about that idea. She knew that she shouldn't do it. She knew that she shouldn't use her new "gift" to penetrate her friends' deepest and most painful memories, but on the other hand it would help her understand them. She would see why Beck was always so calm and stoic, no matter what. Maybe she would find out why Robbie carried Rex around all the time. She could see why Andre had trouble holding in his feelings and controlling his emotions. She could see if Cat really always was happy or if it was an act made up to cover something she had buried away in her mind. She could finally see what happened in Jade's life to make her so bitter and bitchy.

She could finally understand why Jade was that way. The thought refused to leave her mind, a thousand possibilities running trough Tori's mind in an instant. She though about it again. She tried to convince herself that what she wanted to do is wrong. That she should not do it. That she should not disrespect her friends' privacy.

But what if she had gotten this "gift" or "curse" or whatever it was for a reason. What if it was given to her so she could help others with things they didn't even want to let the world know happened?

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice the bell ringing until she heard everyone standing up and packing their stuff. Tori did the same, waiting to leave last so she didn't accidentally touch anyone else, not wanting to see anything anymore she isn't supposed to see.

When she looked up, she saw that the blond girl was the last in the large line waiting to get out. Tori thought about it for a moment before she walked to her just as she was ready to leave the classroom.

"Hey, thanks for the pen." Tori said.

"Oh. Thanks. I already forgot about it." The small blonde said as she put her pen away.

Tori hesitated for a moment before finally making her decision.

"Mandy, wait." Tori said, getting her to look back at her again. Tori let out a small sigh before she looked back at Mandy, still seeing the pain in her eyes. She saw it so clearly now, something she wouldn't even have noticed a day ago.

"What is it?" The girl asked, confused that Tori even knew her name, let alone was talking to her.

"I'm sorry for what Trevor did to you. I'm really sorry." Tori said. Mandy's eyes grew wide.

"H-how d-do you…?" Mandy struggled, so Tori decided to make it easier on her.

"I just know. I wasn't with him myself, but I just know." Tori said in a calm voice. Mandy looked down at her feet, overwhelmed by the memory slowly crawling back into her mind.

"I really loved him. I still do. I just don't understand why he cheated on me. I…"

Tori was on the verge of tears herself, her past relationships and what happened with her parents two weeks ago giving her the knowledge of how Mandy felt.

"I know how it feels. Mandy, you are a pretty girl. You are a good person. Don't worry. You will find someone who deserves you." Tori told her.

"T-thank you. Thank you." Mandy said through her tears as she brought up her hands to cover her face as she began crying. Tori took the step forwards before she wrapped both arms around the smaller girl, hoping that she had done the right thing.

**A/N: Just to let you guys know that the chapters will get longer as the story progresses since these are only the introduction chapters. And I hate doing them. Hope you enjoy them so far at least. Review if you feel like it. **


	3. Too much

Tori walked towards her locker, happy that the schools hall had cleared already, everybody having left for lunch break. She dragged herself towards her locker, mentally drained and exhausted. Next to everything else going on in her life she now has to deal with something she didn't think existed or was even possible outside a fantasy world. But it was happening to her now, and Mandy's reaction only confirmed that she wasn't imagining some dumb stuff. It confirmed that what she saw wasn't only her mind going crazy and making things up. It was real. It were things that genuinely happened. And for whatever reason, she woke up that morning with the ability to see them.

She leaned on her locker, bringing both arms up and covering her head with them, her hands resting on her head as she gripped her hair in desperation. She had to face everyone again now. She had to see her friends again, and she knew that she couldn't dodge them this time. She had done so for two weeks already, and as good an actress as she is, they are getting suspicious. It was hard to hide what stress had done to her in two weeks. Even with heavy make-up, the rings under her eyes stood out. She would space out all the time, even while people where talking to her. Even when she focused on them and what they were telling her. Her usual tan has been replaced with a tired, paleness that only stands out on her more.

She slapped her locker with the palm of her hand, again and again in utter desperation, the loud thuds echoing through the empty hallway while her hands missed the lights on her locker by sheer luck. She wanted to scream, to curse and yell at something. She wanted to hit something. She needed a release, and she needed it as soon as possible. She didn't even notice that she had begun crying, not before she felt them drop on her arm. She wiped them away, knowing that crying wouldn't solve anything now. Then she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket a moment before she heard the sound. She took the phone out of her pocket. She had a text from Andre.

"_Ditchin us again?" _

She sighed, knowing that she couldn't avoid them now as much as she wanted to. She put her phone back in her pocket and began walking towards the Asphalt Café, breathing in deeply in an attempt to calm down.

Once outside, she directly walked towards their usual table, where the rest of the gang was already seated. Cat was telling something to Robbie, who listened carefully and never removed his eyes from her. Andre and Beck were talking about a movie while Jade kept stabbing the salad she had in front of her. Tori walked past the Grub Truck, not feeling hungry at all. She hadn't for a while.

"Look who's here." Beck said once he saw her walking towards the table. Everybody's attention turned towards her, something she didn't want at the moment.

"Hey girl. Finally eating with us again." Andre said as he moved a bit to the side, making some space for her to sit. Tori, however, decided to sit on the fourth bench of the table, across from him. She never understood why nobody sat there, but that empty space only for herself was a blessing for her.

"Not really eating. I'm not hungry." She said as she sat down.

"Why are you wearing a hoodie?" Robbie asked.

"I feel cold for some reason. Maybe I'm catching the flu." She answered.

"You alright?" Beck asked, his voice more serious.

"I am. Just caught up in work. Don't worry." She lied. She didn't tell them about the situation at home, and she definitely wouldn't tell them now about what has been happening to her since waking up. They wouldn't believe her, anyway. She wouldn't believe it herself if it hadn't continued happening.

"Aw, can't little Tori handle a little stress?" Jade asked in her usual Sweet Sally Peaches mock voice.

"No. It seems little Tori can't." Tori said with a sigh, looking down at the ground, hoping to avoid the look she knew her friends were giving her now. When she felt someone touch her left arm the next moment, she jumped out of shock. She looked at that side to see Cat looking at her, her hand draw close to her body.

"Tori, what's wrong?" Cat asked in a concerned voice.

"N-nothing. I… I was lost in thoughts for a moment and you surprised me. That's all." Tori said, absent mindedly pulling the sleeves of the hoodie over her hands.

"Tori…" She heard Andre say. She knew that she screwed up now. She had to tell them something. But she didn't want to lie to them anymore. It would only make things worse for her. So she settled with the next best option.

"I'm…having some trouble at home, that's all. Trina is driving me crazy as usually and my parents have been arguing a lot lately. So don't worry, it will get better." She said. It wasn't the whole truth, but none of that was a lie. She only left out the part of her mother cheating on her dad and running off with his colleague and her dad having completely changed since then. But that was something she wouldn't tell them. It was something she had to deal with herself. It was something none of them could change anyway.

"I'm sorry to hear that." She heard Beck say.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Robbie asked.

"I didn't want to think about it, honestly. I had hoped that I would wake up one morning and see them again sitting together at the dinner table, drinking coffee and talking as they always did. I guess I'm still in denial." She admitted. "So I've had trouble sleeping recently. That's why I'm a bit… off and spacing out all the time."

"You need to eat something. Here." She heard Andre say. He got up and walked over to her, and before she could react, he placed his plate with two slices of pizza on the table and his other hand on her shoulder, slightly touching her neck. Again, everything went white for a moment.

_In the backyard of a large house with a large tree, a young African American boy was kicking a ball around. He was around eight years old and ran around happily, shooting the ball through the backyard. An older lady, who was in her mid fifties, watched him happily as she sat in her chair, enjoying the beautiful weather. Then the boy shot the ball really hard with his full force and kicked it up high on the tree, where it got stuck._

Tori snapped back from the vision, realizing what just had happened. She had seen one of Andre's memories. But it couldn't have been it. It was only a ball getting stuck in the crown of a tree. It couldn't be his worst memory. But she noticed that his touch only lasted for a moment. Maybe that is why the vision was so short. Maybe it was only the beginning of a memory. But that would mean that how long she has physical contact with someone influences how much she sees. With the teacher and that guy in the hallway it was merely a bump, a second of contact, where she saw only a few seconds of what had happened. But with Mandy, her hand had touched Mandy's for a bit longer, showing her the whole vision. So maybe that was what happened with Andre now. But there was something else in this vision. It left her with a feeling. A feeling of guilt. She didn't know why she felt it, but it seemed related to the vision.

"Tori!" She heard him say. She turned towards him, seeing his worried expression as he stood next to her.

"S-sorry. Spaced out again. I'm just really tired I guess." Tori said, trying to retake control of her mind again.

"Maybe you should go home and rest." Cat said in a concerned voice.

"Maybe I should." She said, nodding slowly while she turned her gaze at the ground, trying to avoid any eye contact. She got up and wanted to walk away, grabbing into her pocket to pull out her car keys. Her hands were shaking though, and she dropped her keys. She crouched down to pick them up, but she had no idea that Beck had the same idea, touching her hand in the process. Again, everything turned white.

_Beck was sitting at a table in a white room, talking to someone in a hospital gown. The woman's face looked strange; her gaze was glassy and distant. She didn't seem to react or notice to anything he had said. Beck sighed and patted the woman on the hand before getting up. _

The sudden vision hit her like a ton of bricks. She lost her balance and fell down, slowly regaining her senses again. She noticed that now everyone there was looking at her.

"Do you need a ride home?" Beck asked.

"Yeah, I don't think you should drive while you are like this." Robbie said.

Tori only shook her head as she snatched the keys out of Beck's hand quickly and turned around, speeding off towards her car and not caring for a moment that everybody had seen her break down just now.

She didn't know how she got home. She didn't know how she hadn't caused an accident in the mental state she was in. Luck seemed to have returned to her for those few minutes. She unlocked the front door and locked it as soon as she was in the house. She knew that her dad was at work and that Trina was still at school. She ran upstairs into her room and shut the door, locking it too. She didn't want to see anyone now. She didn't want anyone to see her. She needed some rest. Fatigue and stress must have driven her crazy, and now seeing all those visions didn't help. Drained, crying and with her whole body trembling, she took her phone and shut it off, not wanting to hear from anyone now. She let her arm fall and let the phone drop out of her hand as she got into her bed. Tori buried her head into her pillow and let the sobs she had been holding back all this time escape her body.


	4. Sadness and Anger

The next morning came quickly, Tori's alarm playing her favorite song that was supposed to gently awake her every morning and set the day up for a good mood. It hadn't worked for a while now, and today was a special case. She hadn't slept at all last night. She had been crying instead. It was a long night for her, maybe the longest night she had ever endured. Her emotions went from desperation caused by the circumstances she had no control over and couldn't get a grip on to anger about everything happening to her at the moment. She thought about calling one of her friends at one point, but didn't do so. They wouldn't believe her. They all would only look at her as if she had gone completely crazy. And maybe she had gone completely crazy. After the last two weeks, she wasn't sure herself anymore.

Tori got out of her bed, walking slowly towards the bathroom. She had a massive headache and felt completely drained. She felt as if her body would break down on her any moment after what she had put it through. She didn't sleep, she didn't eat. The only thing keeping her going is a small, leftover glimmer of hope that things would get better in the next morning. But she knew that it was only hope, and right now, it only became smaller by every passing moment.

After a cold shower she walked back into her room and got dressed. Long sleeves, jeans and a scarf. She wouldn't take any risks today at school. She didn't want to stay at home despite everything. She wanted to face everyone. She wanted to show to them that she was fine. She wanted them to believe that lie she had tried to tell herself. She wanted them to believe the lie she couldn't even convince herself off.

As she walked downstairs, she heard something. She didn't slow down in her steps. She didn't flinch for a second at an idea of an intruder or anything. Right now, it would be a nice way to rid her of her misery, at least to her. Her mind played a bit with the idea. Someone showing up, killing her and ending everything. Instead of horror, serenity began to overtake her mind at the scenario. She shook her head in disbelief, wondering how she could have changed that much in such a short time.

Downstairs, she found the source of the noise and the little bit of inspiration she just had. To her slight disappointment, it wasn't an intruder or a robber. It was just her father as he rushed out of the house without even looking at her. She looked towards the dinner table, the mess on it not surprising her anymore. The police officer who before wouldn't tolerate any type of mess in the house now didn't bother at all with any of it. He didn't bother with shaving, with the dishes, nothing. He only cared about getting to the police station as quickly as possible where he would work sixteen hour shifts before coming home and falling into bed. It had been like that ever since Holly had ran off.

Tori walked into the kitchen and cleaned the mess her father had left. She still had time before she had to go to school, and she would rather do it now instead of waiting until school was over. She put the dirty plates in the dishwasher and vacuumed the pieces of food that fell of the table. Once she was done, she took the dishes out and placed them back in their respective cabinets.

Glad with having a single, small worry less in her day, she took her bag and left the house, locking it once she was outside. She got into her car and took a deep breath. She couldn't panic like she did yesterday. She had to keep her cool, no matter what. Her picked clothes that covered almost her whole body and she would be twice as careful now about any physical contact happening. She also knew that she would have to explain her behavior from the previous day and why she ran off. Tori decided to think about it once she was in school. Now, one thought wouldn't leave her mind, even after haunting her mind the whole night. Andre and Beck seemingly both had something she wasn't aware off. If what she experienced indicated anything, it was that both Andre and Beck have been through something that caused them pain. But while Beck's memory seemed to be recent, since he looked as always, Andre's seem to be an old one. He was still young and his grandmother looked a lot younger herself. Not to mention, she seemed normal.

It bothered her a bit that her friends had not told her everything after all those years. She had done a lot to help them, and they always had come to her whenever they needed help, advice or anything else. Why haven't they told her about any of those things? She believed that she knew everything about them, but now, there seems to be way more about them than she ever expected. She knew that there was something about Jade and Cat and possibly Robbie she didn't know yet, but not her best friend and the guy who claimed not to have any secrets.

She parked her car and got out, walking towards the school entrance. She knew that she would have to face the crowd soon, and she knew that it might be the hardest acting performance she would have to perform. And as she reached her locker, she saw the first one of her friends.

"Hey, Tori. Do you feel better?" Robbie asked her as he stopped a few feet away.

"Yeah, I feel a lot better. Just needed some sleep which I finally got." She lied, knowing that the truth would only make them worry more. And this wasn't about her. It was about them.

"That's great to hear. You had us all really worried yesterday. We all tried to call you, but none of us could reach you." Robbie said.

"Yeah, my cell phone… the battery had died on me and I didn't even notice. Don't worry. I'm fine." Tori reassured him.

"I still think that something's up, Rob." Rex said.

"Why do you think that?" Tori asked.

"Don't know. Call it a sixth sense if you will. I'll keep my eye on you, girl." Rex said.

"Don't mind him. He's just paranoid." Robbie said.

"And you suck your thumb while you sleep." Rex retorted.

"W-what? No, I-I don't." Robbie nervously said.

"Oh yes you do. You also… mhmhhm." Rex tried to say, but Robbie covered his mouth.

"Enough!" Robbie said as he kept his hand over Rex's mouth.

"Well, I have to go to my class. I'll see you at lunch then." Tori said as she wanted to leave. "And if you see the others, tell them not to worry. I'm fine." Tori said again.

"I'll tell them, don't worry." Robbie said as he put raised his hand and playfully messed with Tori's hair.

_A young Robbie was sitting in his room reading some of his comic books and imitating the actions of the heroes in them._

"_Robbie!" He heard someone yell from downstairs._

"_Yes?" He yelled back, not taking his eyes off of the comic._

"_The phone. It's for you." His mother yelled as Robbie jumped up and headed downstairs._

Tori's snapped back into reality, her vision clearing and recognizing her surroundings again. She tried to hold her breath calm and even while Robbie was telling her something.

"Well, I'll see you later." Robbie said as he walked towards his class while Tori seemed glued to the ground she was standing on. She knew two things now. First, she still saw visions as soon as someone touched her and second, Robbie has a childhood memory that caused him great pain. But something else was there that hadn't been one day ago. She was left with a feeling in her gut. It was a feeling she had experienced very often. It was sadness, sheer sadness. But this one was a bit different. She didn't know in what way. She couldn't put her finger on it at the moment.

She made her way towards history class, glad that it was one of those long classes in which nobody had to do anything while the teacher happily filled the classroom with his speeches. She needed that. It gave her time to think.

When she opened the door, she saw two people she forgot had that class with her. One was Beck, and the other was Sinjin. She sat on the chair next to Beck's, knowing that if she sat somewhere else, he would have called her up on it later.

"Hey." She greeted him with a small smile.

"Hey. Why did you just run off yesterday? And what's up with your phone. I tried calling you three times." Beck asked. Tori knew this would happen, and she quickly came up with an answer.

"Next to stress add some girl problems. As soon as I got to my car I both threw up and also began to…" She said, but he cut her off before she finished her sentence.

"Wow, wow, I don't need to know all details, Tori." Beck said as he put up his hands and shook his head. "Do you feel better now?" Beck asked, concern filling his voice.

"I do. I've got some sleep and feel much better now. I'm sorry if I got you guys worried. It was all too much yesterday." Tori said.

"No need to apologize. I'm just glad that you are fine again." Beck said as he turned his attention back towards the teacher.

"Um, can I ask you something?" Tori said, getting his attention again.

"Sure. What is it?" Beck asked.

"How are you? Is everything fine?" Tori asked, looking him right in the eyes.

"I'm fine. And everything else in my life is great. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Just wondering. You know you can always tell me everything, right?" Tori said.

"Of course I do. Don't worry about me. Just don't pull off another one of those stunts like yesterday. Next time, tell us what is going on." Beck said as he patted her on the back. No vision, thanks to the jacket, but she still felt something in her gut. It was anger. She wondered why she felt anger now. Could it be that Beck's memory had something to do with it? She wanted to know, but at the same time, she was afraid. She turned her head to glance at him again. He carried his stoic, neutral expression as always. From his expression, it seemed that he didn't have a single worry in his life. But now, she was sure that there was something. But what she didn't know is why it was anger.

She got the idea to find a reason to try and touch him again so she could get a vision, but she decided against it. It wasn't right to just invade his personal thoughts like that. He must have a reason why he didn't tell her. On the other hand, she might be able to help him if she knew what was bothering him. If she knew what was seemingly making him angry. But she didn't do anything. Not now. She needed to think, and she would use the first period to do so.


	5. Confessions

First period went by fast for Tori as she kept replaying what she had seen again and again trying to make sense of everything. She knew now that three of her friends had something that they didn't tell her. But while Robbie's and Andre's memories seemed to be distant, childhood memories, Beck's was recent, and while Robbie's carried a lot of sadness in it, Beck's was sheer anger.

She thought about avoiding her friends again for lunch and hide away in the Blackbox Theatre or in one of the empty classrooms, but that would only bring more suspicion upon her. And after her panic attack the previous day, she didn't need any more of that. Luckily for her, she was the first there, sitting by herself and thinking how to proceed. She knew that she couldn't ignore what always happened, as the visions were too strong. Also, she wanted to know what had happened to her friends that equaled cheating or a financial crisis.

"Hey there." Andre said as he sat down and put his food on the table. "Feeling better?" He asked, looking at Tori.

She didn't answer right back. She looked at him for a moment, contemplating about doing something she hadn't intended to do at all. Maybe it would make things better for her. And maybe he would confess what it was that he hid from her, and possibly everyone else.

"Not really. I haven't slept all night." She said honestly.

"What? Robbie said that you felt better after catching some sleep." Andre said, confused at what he heard.

"I lied to him. I didn't want him to ask me any more questions." Tori admitted, looking down in shame.

"Why did you lie?" Andre asked, pushing away the plate in front of him and giving Tori his full attention.

"Andre, we are friends, right?" Tori asked, still not looking at him.

"Tori, you are my best friend and you know how much you mean to me. Now please, tell me what is wrong because I've been worried sick now for weeks." Andre said with determination, hoping that he would finally find out what was going on.

Tori looked up and around, seeing that the rest of the gang was standing in a long line waiting to get their food. She let out a sigh and finally looked at Andre. She didn't need any crazy ability to see that he was worried sick.

"Keep this between us, please." Tori pleaded.

"Of course." Andre said.

"My parents split a few weeks ago. My mom was cheating on my dad with one of his colleagues and he found out." Tori said, keeping her tears back.

"Tori… I'm so sorry. I…" Andre began, but Tori cut him off. She wasn't finished.

"He found out and confronted him. She only threw the blame at him and packed her stuff before leaving. Gary got transferred to Chicago and she went with him. I saw her leaving, I yelled after her in hopes we all could figure this out, but she didn't even look at me as she walked away. She left dad, Trina and me as if we meant nothing to her. Our own mother left us just like that. I haven't heard from her ever since." Tori finished.

Andre looked at her in defeat. When she told them that her parents had been arguing, he hadn't imagined that it was something as severe as this.

"How are Trina and your dad holding up?" Andre asked.

"Dad buries himself in work. He works from morning until evening and when he gets home he goes straight to bed. I haven't talked with him since mom left. And I'm not sure what I could say to him if I got the chance to. Trina is never home either. She says she is always at a friends place, but I'm worried that it's something else. She missed a lot of classes already. Can't really blame her." She explained, saying the final part with a small, ironic chuckle as she shook her head. She allowed her tears to freely run down her cheeks, not having enough strength left to hold them back anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Andre asked.

"Because there is nothing any of you can do. You can't bring my mom back. You can't undo what she did. You can't change my life back to how it was. All you could do is watch me cry and break down." Tori explained.

"And your solution is to avoid all of us and not tell a soul? How would that make things better?" Andre asked.

"You guys probably have issues on your own. I don't want to be a burden to anyone."

"Bullshit, Tori." Andre said. Tori looked at him, both shocked and confused at his retort. "You aren't a burden to anyone. Are you even aware how often you helped me out? Do you even remember how often you helped all of us out in the past? If you feel that you can't come to me during bad times then I feel as if I failed you as a friend."

Tori looked at him, regret beginning to choke because of his words. She looked at him, and she knew that he meant every word he said to her.

"Did I do something? Why don't you trust me anymore?" Andre asked.

"You didn't do anything. And I do trust you. I just… didn't know what to do. I'm sorry Andre." Tori said, looking down. Next to everything, she now felt as if she had hurt her best friend.

"Don't apologize. Just remember that I'll always be here for you if you need me." Andre said.

"But there is nothing you can do to help me now. All this is out of your control." Tori said, meaning both her situation at home and her recent ability.

"Even if I can't change the situation, it's always easier when you have someone with you. That's what friends are for. When you think that things can't get worse, they come and go with you through whatever approaches, no matter what. Pain, no matter how bad, is always easier to take when there is someone there to support you and even take pieces away from you." Andre said.

Tori took all his words in, especially the last part. She didn't know why he said it the way he said it, but he just gave an answer to all her dilemmas.

"Thank you. It means a lot." Tori said, looking back at him and giving him a small, genuine smile.

"Always for you girl." He said as he moved closer and moved in for a hug. She didn't try to avoid it. She made a decision. She would find out what the memory was about and try to help him as much as he always helped her. It's the least she can do for him. So she leaned in the hug, feeling his warm embrace for a moment before everything in front of her light up in a bright light.

_In the backyard of a large house with a large tree, a young African American boy was kicking a ball around. He was around eight years old and ran around happily, shooting the ball through the backyard. An older lady, who was in her mid fifties, watched him happily as she sat in her chair, enjoying the beautiful weather. Then the boy shot the ball really hard with his full force and kicked it up high on the tree, where it got stuck._

_He ran towards the large tree and began climbing it, wanting his ball back. _

"_Andre, come back down! It's too dangerous to climb that high!" His grandmother yelled as she stood up and ran towards the tree herself._

"_Don't worry grandma. I'll just grab my ball and I'm down in no time." Andre said, climbing even higher. He was close to the ball._

"_Andre, please, you'll get hurt! Climb down!" She yelled in a desperate voice filled with fear. _

"_Just a moment!" He said as he grabbed the ball. That moment, his foot slipped from one of the branches._

The vision ended as Andre had pulled back from the hug. Tori felt guilt build up in the pit of her stomach. It was what she felt throughout the whole vision. The vision wasn't complete though, she felt that. She also felt that the guilt coming from that memory was overwhelming before it faded a few moments later. She looked at him, new tears wanting to appear at what she found out. She never knew that he had to live with so much guilt. She couldn't imagine having to deal with it every day.

"So? You feel better now?" Andre asked.

"Yes. I do. Thank you for listening." Tori said.

"Anything for you, girl." Andre said.

"How are you? Is there anything bothering you?" Tori asked.

"I'm fine. You know me. The only thing I allow to worry me is if I can't come up with lyrics to a song." Andre said with a smile.

"You know that you can always tell me everything yourself, right?" Tori asked, hopping that he would spare her the need of seeing the full vision.

"Of course I do. Don't worry about me. For now, let's just keep sure you stay good." Andre said.

Before Tori could say anything else, the rest of the gang arrived at the table. Jade sat down next to Tori, bad mood as always as Cat sat down next to Andre and Beck sat down on the other side.

"Were you crying?" Jade asked, seeing the tearstains on Tori's face.

"A bit. Just had a heart to heart moment with Andre." Tori said.

"Don't worry. Everything is alright." Andre said.

"Geez, I was just asking. I didn't need a summary." Jade said as she began stabbing her salad.

"Oh, before I forget, here is your chemistry book." Cat said as he took a black book out of her bag and handed it over to Jade. Jade leaned forward to grab it, accidentally touching Tori.


	6. Lightheaded

_The bright light appeared, letting Tori know what was about to happen, but this one was not like any of the previous one. Tori found herself standing in a single spot, unable to move while around her seemingly dozens of things were happening. She tried to focus on a single one but the images switched so quickly that she couldn't decipher anything going on. _

"Tori! Are you okay?" She heard someone yell as she regained her vision. For whatever reason she was lying on the ground, next to the table. She had no memory of falling down or hitting the floor, but the aching she felt on the side of her head and arm let her know that it actually happened.

"W-what happened?" Tori asked, trying to get up but feeling too weak to do so as her arms gave away under her.

"You were sitting and out of nowhere you fell down. I think you even lost consciousness for a few moments." Andre said as he knelt down next to her.

"Lost consciousness?" Tori asked. "Oww, my head." She mumbled as she raised her other hand towards the side of her head.

"You weren't responding after we called your name a few times. I think you blacked out for a moment there." Beck said.

Andre and Back carefully put their arms around Tori and helped her up. Her legs almost gave out again on her, but luckily the guys were there. She looked at her friends. Andre and Beck were worried, Robbie and Cat looked confused while Jade looked… scared. It took the still dazed Tori by surprise to see Jade react this way.

"Come on, we'll take you to the nurse." Andre said as he and Beck helped Tori towards the school entrance.

The gang was standing outside while the nurse was with Tori in the room. She took Tori's temperature and checked her blood pressure while she asked her a few questions.

"I've been under a lot of stress lately, that's all." Tori said while the nurse wrote something down.

"Your blood pressure is low. I guess that's why you got lightheaded out there and why you probably feel cold while it's warm outside." The nurse said, waving at the clothes Tori was wearing. "I'll excuse you from classes today. Catch some sleep and come back to school tomorrow if you feel any better."

"Okay. Thank you." Tori said as she lied back down on the bed for a moment. Right now, none of the nurse's words would get into her head, though. All that was on her mind now was what she saw a few moments ago with Jade. Usually, the vision would be a single memory, or a part of it, depending on the length of the contact. But this one was different for many reasons. It were multiple visions at the same time, too quick for her to understand in any way. The only thing that she was sure about is that Jade was in every single on of them, although varying in age in some of them.

The other thing is the feeling she had in the pit of her stomach once the illusion was done. With Robbie it was sadness, with Beck it was anger while with Andre it was guilt. Jade, however, left an overall feeling of emptiness. It's not that she didn't feel any emotion after that, far from it. It only reminded Tori of what she felt when her mother left and her family fell apart. The feeling she had before and after it fully hit her what had happened. It was that feeling of emptiness and apathy towards everything, but mostly yourself. It was that feeling people have when everything is too much for them to handle and they stop feeling at all. Tori remembered reading somewhere that such an emptiness happens when a person is overwhelmed by everything and their mind shuts off all that in order to protect itself.

"Has she had it that bad?" Tori mumbled to herself, wondering and silently hoping that this vision was somehow affected by her low blood pressure or her hitting her head. Silently she hoped that the girl she didn't really know that much about didn't have it as bad as she saw or couldn't see. But Tori knew that all the moments that flashed by her in a heartbeat did happen, and that Jade must have buried a lot in her mind.

"Did you say something?" The nurse asked, turning around from her desk.

"No. Just… thinking out loud for a moment." Tori said, covering her face with her hands and letting out a loud sigh.

"Okay, you are free to go." The nurse said.

"Alright. Thanks." Tori said as she sat up and got of the bed. She opened the door, but as soon as she stepped outside she was surrounded by her friends. She immediately got bombarded by questions, but managed to hear what she believed was Robbie's voice asking her if the nurse found anything.

"I got low blood pressure. I got excused from the rest of the classes so I'll head home early." Tori explained.

"Alright, I'll drive you home." Andre said.

"I got my own car here. You don't need to." Tori said, but Andre immediately shook his head.

"No way. I let you drive yesterday and was worried until I saw you in school because you weren't answering any calls or messages. I'm not going to relive all that again." Andre said in protest. "I'll leave my car here and pick you up tomorrow for school. If you feel better can drive tomorrow by yourself, I'll just take my car back and that's it. No discussions." Andre said.

"You and Beck have a project to deliver as soon as we get back to class, remember?" Robbie said.

"So what? I'm not letting her drive like this." Andre said.

"I know, Andre. But if you skip it you'll have a much lower grade." Robbie reminded him.

"Fuck the grade, Robbie." Andre said.

"I won't let you ruin your grade because of me, Andre. I'm fine and I can drive home myself." Tori said.

"Oh no, you won't." Beck said as he stepped in front of her. "I'm with Andre on this one. You are not driving." Beck said.

"I can drive her." Cat said, getting everyone's attention while she kept playing with the tip of her hair.

"You have a driver's license?" Beck asked.

"Of course I do. I got it as soon as I turned sixteen." Cat said.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Robbie asked.

"Nobody asked me." Cat said with a small chuckle at the end. "I'll drive her home. I would have spent next class with texting anyway, so I might as well make sure Tori gets home."

"Alright, it's a deal." Beck said as he stepped aside.

Cat and Tori walked towards the exit while Tori looked back one more time to see almost all her friends turn around and leave, except Jade who looked right at her. A small smile of relief appeared on Jade's lips for a moment as she turned around and walked towards her class. Tori's feet kept walking on their own while Cat was, surprisingly, quiet the whole time. Tori didn't know what to think of Jade right now. She seemed genuinely worried about her, which is not Jade like in any way. Even if she did care, she would never show it, and she especially wouldn't show it in front of Tori.

She snapped out of her thoughts when she saw that Cat was standing in front of her now, looking at her as if she was expecting something.

"Huh?" Tori mumbled, completely lost for a moment due to fatigue and having spaced out again.

"I need your keys. I can't do anything without them, dummy." Cat said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah, sorry. I…"

"You spaced out. I know. It's not like you are hiding it." Cat said as Tori gave her the keys, careful not to touch Cat. She didn't want another vision, and she was sure that she couldn't handle another right now both physically or mentally.

Cat unlocked the Car and sat down in the driver's seat which she began adjusting while Tori sat down in the passenger seat and relaxed as much as she could. Cat turned the keys in the ignition which started the car before she reversed out of the parking lot and drove towards Tori's place.

"Hey, Cat."

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something?" Tori asked, looking out of the window.

"Sure. What is it?"

"How is Jade doing? Is there anything bothering her." Tori asked.

"There is a lot of things bothering her. They forbid her to bring scissors to school, her stepmother left a yellow shirt with some of her clothes, giving them some yellow which she hates and I believe her grandmother bought her a ceramic duck for Christmas. She hates ducks." Cat said.

"No… Not like that. I meant if there was anything really bothering her. If she's okay." Tori asked.

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Cat asked back.

"She wouldn't tell me." Tori said.

"Well, if there is anything bothering her, you shouldn't hear it from anyone else, especially of that person is your friend." Cat said as she parked into Tori's driveway.

"I know that, but sometimes it's hard to admit or talk about problems. Sometimes it's easier to keep quiet." Tori said, more to herself than actually Cat.

"I think it only makes things worse." Cat said. "It's like digging a hole. At one point, it will become so deep that you can't get out anymore, at least not without someone's help."

Tori looked at Cat, surprised by what she just told her. She never expected to hear something like that from the redhead. Both girls got out of the car as Cat was walking Tori towards the door.

"Thank you for driving me home. I'm sorry that you had to skip a class because of me." Tori said as she unlocked the door before turning around to face Cat again.

"Don't worry about it. Just get some rest and take time for yourself." Cat said.

"What do you mean?" Tori asked.

"I know that a lot of things are bothering you and that you are going through some tough times right now. Just remember that you can always talk to me and ask me for help." Cat said, offering Tori a genuine smile.

"Thanks, Cat. I'll tell you later what is going on. Right now, I just want to sleep." Tori said.

"No problem. Just give me a call." Cat said as she stepped forward and gave Tori a hug.

Tori expected to see another vision, to find out what dark secret Cat has buried deep inside her memories. But what surprised Tori the most was that there was no vision.


	7. Telling the truth

Cat drove up to Tori's house 6:30 AM the next morning, punching the horn twice and leaning back into the seat, closing her eyes and humming a melody to herself. A minute later, she heard the door open and as she looked to her right she saw Tori sit down in the passenger side. She stopped her humming and gave Tori a smile.

"Good morning." Cat happily said. Tori smiled back, a gesture that made Cat even happier.

"Good morning, Cat." Tori said as she put her bag on the backseat. "Thanks again for driving me home yesterday and picking me up now. God knows if I would have made it home in the shape I was in."

"No need to thank me. What else are friends for?" Cat said as she turned the ignition and started the car.

"Can we take the longer way? It's still early." Tori said.

"Sure." Cat only responded, her eyes focused on the road.

"Cat, look, I know you've noticed that a lot of things are wrong with me at the moment. And I can imagine that you want to know what it is, right?" Tori asked, looking at her hands rather than at Cat.

"Tori, I won't force you to tell me anything you don't want to tell me. I know you have issues at home and I know that you are under a lot of stress lately. If you want to talk about it or if there is anything else you didn't tell me, I'll always be there and listen when you are ready." Cat said, looking at Tori for a short moment before returning her gaze back to the road.

"I want to tell you." Tori said.

"Then I'm listening." Cat said.

"My parents split up." Tori said.

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" Cat asked slowing down and parking the car in an empty space at a gas station.

"Why are you parking the car?" Tori asked as Cat turned the engine off and lowered the back of her seat a big before she turned her body to lean on her side.

"Because this is more important than the period and I want to give you my full attention." Cat said. "I'm listening." Cat said, looking straight at Tori.

Tori let out a sigh before she lowered her seat too and now was almost lying down in her car, looking at the top.

"My mom was cheating on my dad. They had been arguing for a while about a lot of things, mostly him working as long as he did and not satisfying her anymore. He blamed her for wanting a house and a car for everyone and also having to feed and put clothes on two teenagers, and even having to save more money for colleges. But she didn't seem to care about any of his reasons. She started seeing one of his colleagues. They met at a party he held a year ago. I don't know when they exactly started their affair, and I don't even want to know how often it happened in our house." Tori explained, letting her tears freely flow again. She turned quickly to see that Cat was still listening, surprising her a little bit considering Cat's short attention span.

"My dad found them two weeks ago, add a day or two. His partner immediately left while he was yelling at her. I had just come home from school and gotten into my room to change when I heard them scream. Dad had come home early that day to surprise her. He had even gotten them reservations at her favorite place and brought some flowers. I walked out of my room and downstairs I found him yelling and cursing while she just grabbed a few things from the garage and put them into one of her bags. She didn't look at him, she didn't respond in any way. And then I saw her walk towards the door. I yelled after her, but she only glanced at me for a moment before turning her head around and leaving without saying a single word. Gary and she went to Chicago and now they are living together. She just left us; dad, Trina and me. She left her own family as if we never meant anything to her. And why? Because getting fucked by someone was more important to her. That selfish cunt!" Tori yelled the last part out before losing herself. She covered her face with her hand, not able to stay calm anymore.

Cat leaned forward that moment and wrapped her arms around the crying Tori, leaning her head on Tori's and gently rubbing Tori's arm.

"It will be okay, Tori. You don't need someone like that in your life." Cat said.

"She is my mother, Cat." Tori said through her sobs. "She is supposed to be there for Trina and me. To be there for dad. She threw away twenty years of marriage because of sex. She threw her kids away because she couldn't control herself. How can she be so selfish?"

"I don't know, Tori. I don't know…" Cat said. She put her hand on the back of Tori's head, hoping to calm her down in any way.

Again, no vision appeared at the contact. Instead, Tori felt the same thing she felt the day before. Her sobs went silent and her tears dried a few moments later. Her anger and sadness were replaced with serenity and peace. She slowly moved away from Cat, but not so much that Cat would remove her hand from the back of her head.

That moment, Tori needed the calmness and the serenity. She didn't want it to end. She didn't want to cry again. She didn't want anger and sadness to overtake her again. She only wanted for this feeling to last as long as possible. But she didn't know why she had no visions with Cat. She knew that her ability wasn't gone. She still could feel the emotions and they would overtake her, but the fact that with Cat it was completely different than with anyone else before, where she felt guilt, sadness, anger and emptiness, was very welcome.

"There is something else, Cat. And I don't know how to say this or explain or anything." Tori said, relaxing in Cat's embrace.

"Just tell me what it is." Cat said.

"In the last three, four days, I've been experiencing strange things. I've… god, how can I expect you to believe me?" Tori said, interrupting her thought. She realized the ridiculousness of the situation when she tried to sort them into words. She had no way to prove to Cat that what she wanted to say was the truth. She didn't know anything completely about anyone, and if she did, she doubted that Cat knew any of the secrets herself. She can't even use any of Cat's memories as an example because she is not seeing any. Right now, it seemed like a bad idea to tell her.

"Look, whatever it is, just tell me." Cat said, tightening her grip around Tori a little bit to let her know that she meant it.

"I've… been having visions whenever someone touches me or I touch them." Tori said, waiting for a response from Cat.

"What do you mean?" Cat asked in a confused voice. Tori let out a sigh, not knowing if she could explain it to her.

"I found it out on Monday when one spaced out again and walked into one of the guys from school. When he offered his hand to help me up, everything went bright in front of my eyes and I saw something that must be a memory. He was sitting in a plane looking back down at the city he left. Since then, every time someone got into physical contact with me, I've seen something, our history teacher, Mandy from my history class, Andre, Beck, Robbie… Jade was the worst. I didn't see a single vision but multiple at the same time. It's why I blacked out for a moment yesterday."

"What type of visions? I don't understand that." Cat said.

"I see the person and the people responsible for that emotion the person has. I saw our history teacher talk to his banker about his loan and how the rates have to be raised. I saw how Mandy caught her boyfriend cheating on her. Everything around them is in a white fog and the people who just pass by are faceless and don't say anything. I guess it's because they are not important to the memory and the emotion within it. The visions are mostly short, a few moments, but they seem to last longer the longer the contact lasts. Also, I've started feeling the emotion behind the vision. Anger, sadness, guilt, betrayal, loneliness, emptiness. All those things I feel for a few moments and then they vanish as if they never were there in the first place." Tori explained.

Cat was silent for a few minutes, taking in all the information she had just gotten while Tori, despite believing that she would feel nervous once she told Cat, didn't feel nervous at all. Her calmness seemed unshakable at the moment.

"I understand." Cat said.

"I know you don't believe me. It's crazy, I know… but I'm telling the truth." Tori said, waiting for Cat to let go of her and drive them to school before never speaking to her again. To her surprise, Cat didn't let go. Tori only felt Cat give her a quick kiss on the top of her head, like Trina and her mother used to do when she was younger.

"I believe you. Don't worry." Cat said in a calm voice.

"Y-you do?" Tori asked, not believing what she just had heard.

"Of course I do. You are Tori. You don't lie about stuff like this and you don't make up things to get attention. We've been best friends for years, Tori. I know that you wouldn't lie to me." Cat said. Relieved, Tori hugged Cat back.

"Thank you, thank you so much for believing me." Tori said, knowing that she would be in tears again if not for Cat.

"You have nothing to thank me for. Tell me, what do you see now?" Cat asked.

"Uhm, that's the deal. I don't see anything with you. There are no visions, nothing. I only feel calm and… peaceful." Tori explained.

"Hm… I guess I understand." Cat said.

"Understand what?" Tori asked.

"I guess the memories you see are the ones still affecting the people you see them from." Cat said. "Otherwise, you would either see a few ones with my brother or the time I saw you and Danny kiss." Cat said.

Tori stiffened up that moment. She remembered what she had done to Cat and how much it must have hurt her. Tori pulled back and out of the hug, knowing that she didn't deserve anything of what Cat was now doing for her.

"I'm sorry for that. I know how much that hurts, believe me. But seeing your friend do that to you… I'm so sorry Cat. I…" Tori began, feeling her sadness want to overtake her again. But before she could finish with any type of apology, she found herself again in Cat's arms, hearing a small giggle from the redhead.

"Why are you even mentioning this now? I forgave you a long time ago for that. Yes, it hurt that moment, but it isn't nearly as bad compared to other things that have happened to me." Cat said.

"But why can't I see it then?" Tori asked.

"Because those memories don't hurt me anymore. I've gotten over them. I've dealt with them and closed that chapter of my life. Thinking about them does nothing to me, Tori. I never let those things affect me. I have this one, short life and I have no intention in wasting any of the precious time I could be smiling and laughing with sadness or anger or anything. And I definitely don't have time to let something from the past haunt me for a long time. I don't want that and I won't allow it to happen." Cat finished.

Tori was left speechless that moment. She never thought about it that way. She also never expected such a philosophy to come from Cat, whom she, to her own shame, always saw as to naïve to be sad or angry. But now, things made sense. Her constant happiness, her ability to switch moods, not caring about telling things to others; she just didn't care and didn't want to care. She did what made her happy and wouldn't allow anything to change that. It is how she dealt with Jade's behavior for all these years. It's how she managed to forgive and forget all the wrongdoings that happened to her.

"So what I saw with our friends is still haunting them." Tori said, glad about understanding more about her ability while it also meant that her worst suspicion was true.

"I guess. I believe that what you gave is an incredible ability and gift." Cat said.

"To me, it feels like a curse." Tori responded.

"It's all a matter of perspective. A single touch and you know something about the person no one else possibly knows. I know you want to help our friends now because of that. Because something seems to be bothering them. And I think you should." Cat said.

"I should? I feel as if I'm finding things out that I shouldn't even know exist." Tori said.

"And still, you are the one person who can help them deal with those things and close that part of their life. If it's preventing them from being happy and if you felt how that makes them feel, why not? What else are friends there for than to help you and make you smile everyday?" Cat finished her thought.

"You are right. They do need someone to help them with that. And I will help them. But for now, thank you so much for listening to me. Thank you for believing me. And thank you for calming me down. I really needed this after everything." Tori said.

"Whenever you need anything, you can always let me know. I'm not hard to reach." Cat said.

"Thank you." Tori said as both pulled away and set their seats back up before Cat started the engine again and both girls finally drove towards school.


	8. Overwhelming

The girls arrived at school just as first period ended. Everyone was already in a rush to place everything in their respective lockers and get something to eat. Tori and Cat walked into the hallway, and for the first time in a while, Tori seemed to be her old self again.

"I'm going to grab a few things from my locker. See you at lunch?" Tori asked, looking at the shorter redhead.

"Of course." Cat told her with her usual smile. "Are you okay?" She asked, her smile replaced with a more serious expression and her voice filled with concern.

Tori smiled at the question. It was not her usual, wide and bright smile. It was a small one, barely visible at the edge of her lips, yet a smile that said a lot. It was a smile someone has when a giant burden gets taken off their shoulders. And that is what Cat did for Tori earlier. By believing her and listening to her, she took so much of the pressure and stress Tori had felt for the past weeks off of her.

"I'm fine thanks to you." Tori said before she stepped towards the redhead and wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you again for believing me. It means a lot."

"You can always come to me if you need me." Cat answered as she hugged Tori back, glad that one of her best friends finally feels better. "I'll wait for you at our table." Cat said as both girls pulled away.

"Bye." Tori said as Cat turned around and walked towards the Asphalt Café.

Tori opened her locker and took out a book she needed for next class. She hoped to be able and last a whole day at school again. She couldn't let her personal issues ruin her academic life and all the good grades she had worked so hard for in the past. Most of her colleagues at Hollywood Arts had no idea how hard she actually works to be good at school. Like Jade used to, they all think that she uses charm and persuasion as a way to get better grades and become a favorite amongst all teachers at school. The truth is that she studies like a madman and works on her singing and acting abilities in every spare second she has. Her recent issues only made her work harder, even if it only served as a distraction from the hell her life has become. The nights she could not sleep were used for studying, singing and redoing some old plays she had been in. It was why she was so tired in the first place.

She shut her locker and made her way outside to the Asphalt Café. When she saw the giant line in front of the grub truck, she only could let out an annoyed groan. Her eyes landed on someone already in the middle of the line.

"Beck!" She yelled as she walked towards him. He turned around immediately, having recognized her voice.

"Tori! Where the hell have you been?" He asked angrily. He didn't care that there was a ton of people around them. "I've been worried sick all morning. Andre and I tried to call you a dozen times, but you didn't pick up the damn phone!" He said even louder.

"I-I'm sorry. I forgot my phone at home." She stuttered, shocked at the anger and harsh words that escaped him. "I was talking to Cat, and we stopped somewhere because she wanted to give me her full attention." Tori explained.

Beck let out a long sigh, the anger disappearing with it.

"I'm sorry. But you can't imagine the ideas that went through my head about why you weren't at school. Andre and I even thought about going to your place and see if you were alright." Beck said, drawing his hand through his hair.

"It's okay. I guess my mind is still not completely where it should be." Tori said, feeling guilty for making two of her closest friends worry so much about her.

"How are you?" Beck asked.

"I'm much better. I actually caught a night of sleep and talking to Cat really helped me. Have you seen her?" Tori asked.

"She was standing in the line with me, but then she just ran off yelling that she had to pee. I hoped I would not have to see that happen again." Beck said, earning a chuckle from Tori.

"Can I ask you for a favor?" Tori asked.

"What is it you want to eat?" Beck asked.

"How did you know?"

"Magic. Now tell me. It's on me." Beck said with a smile.

"Can you get me a burger and a salad?" Tori asked.

"No problem. Go and wait at our table. I think Jade is already there." Beck said.

"Thank you." Tori said before turning around and walking towards the table.

Jade was exactly who she hoped to see today. Her behavior still left Tori puzzled every time. One day, she is nice to her, the next day she acts as if they are archenemies. One day she insults her to no ends, while the next day she acts worried and cares. What intrigued her even more is what happened once she touched Jade. The vision was nothing like the others. The intensity of these events was like no other. She wondered what it was the Goth had been through to do this to her. She also wondered if what was buried inside of Jade's mind could explain her behavior, which only worsened as time passed.

With so many questions in her head, Tori walked towards the table where Jade was sitting by herself, eating a taco and writing something down in her notebook.

"Hi there." Tori said as she sat down.

"Oh, little miss Vega decided to show up today?" Jade said in mock surprise. Tori's mood dropped immediately. _So she's acting like that today _Tori thought.

"Nice seeing you too. I feel better, by the way." Tori said.

"Yeah, nice to know." Jade said, focusing back on her notebook, erasing something and rewriting it.

"How are you?" Tori asked. Jade's hand stopped moving as she slowly lifted her head to look at the other girl.

"What do you mean?" Jade asked.

"I mean, how are you? Is everything okay?" Tori explained.

"Oh. I'm great, why do you ask?" Jade asked back.

"Is there anything wrong with asking a friend how she is?"

"Friend…" Jade said with a dry chuckle.

"Yes, friend." Tori said with a small smile. "And you didn't answer my question."

"No, there is nothing wrong with that. It's just that… I don't get that question often." Jade said in a serious tone.

"Jade, you know you can come to me if something is wrong, right?" Tori asked, hoping to get something out of the other girl. Jade's expression hardened at those words.

"Who are you, my shrink?" Jade asked in an angry tone, which took Tori by surprise.

"N-No, I just…" Tori stuttered, but her sentence didn't get far.

"Listen, Vega. I can handle my own problems. I have done so forever and I intend to keep it that way. I don't need anyone as my emotional tampon and I don't need anyone fighting my battles for me. And why would I come to you of all people? You can't even get your own shit under control." Jade said angrily before she closed her notebook, grabbed her bag and got up.

"Jade, I…" Tori tried to say something, but the words were stuck in her throat. She hadn't expected such a reaction, even from someone like Jade West.

"Don't waste your breath." Jade said as she walked away from the table inside the school.

Tori sat there, dumbfounded. She didn't know why her words caused such a reaction from the other girl. She did not try to provoke her or anything.

"What happened?" Tori heard a familiar voice. She turned around to see Cat standing behind her, looking confused at Tori. "Why did Jade run off?"

"I-I asked her how she was and…" Tori said, words still having trouble leaving her throat.

"And what?" Cat asked.

"And when she told me that she didn't hear that question often, I told her that she can come to me if she needed to talk about anything. She just got up and ran off." Tori explained. She looked at Cat, whose expression went from confused to serious and understanding.

"I understand." Cat said, sitting down next to Tori.

"Understand what?" Tori asked.

"She is… a very proud person. She doesn't like to get help from anybody. I guess you just caught her in a bad mood too." Cat said with a sigh. "Don't worry. She'll be fine. Just give her some time to cool off."

"You are right. I know that you are right, but still… I saw so many things yesterday. I felt… emptiness. That emptiness a person feels when everything becomes too much for her. If I saw so many things, it means they all still hurt her, and they hurt her more than anything I have seen before. I felt it, Cat. H-How could I ignore that?" Tori asked, looking at Cat, hoping to get any good answer. But Cat looked down, not knowing what to say to Tori; not knowing how to answer her question.

"I wish I could tell you all I know, Tori. I really wish I could, but I can't. She told me so many things in confidence…" Cat said, looking finally at her friend, "but I'm sure she didn't tell me everything. Truth is, I don't think anyone knows truly what she has been through."

"Then I'm going to find out." Tori said, with determination in her voice. "I'm going to find out and I'm going to help her however I can. I won't ignore this, Cat. I can't."

"I understand how you feel, believe me, I do. But what about you?"

"One of my friends needs my help. I'm not important." Tori said.

"Tori…" Cat said. She brought her hand up and cupped Tori's cheek, gently wiping away the tears on her face. Calmness overtook Tori again, and she breathed in deeply, thankful for Cat's influence on her.

"I-I didn't even know I was crying." Tori said, putting her hand on Cat's. "Thank you for being there for me."

"Always." Cat said.

"Hey, everything alright?" Both turned around and saw Beck standing there, food in both hands.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Tori said as she calmed down and quickly dried her face with her sleeve.

The rest of the day went by quickly, but she could not stop thinking about how to help Jade. She stared at her during the classes they had together that day, at some points even wanting to get up, walk towards her, take her hand or hug her and just see what is going on. But she couldn't do that. It would be the wrong thing to do, especially to Jade. If she wanted to help Jade, Jade needed to trust her first. Unlike with the others, they were never that close friends. But Tori still cared a lot about the Goth, no matter what.

The final class was over and Tori was standing at her locker, placing away her books. She looked at Jade, who was just walking outside. Tori thought about walking after her, but she knew that it would not do any good. The direct approach didn't work before.

"My hair is going to fall out because of you, you know that?" She heard someone say behind her, snapping her out of her thoughts. She turned around to see Andre standing behind her. "I've been calling you all morning. You weren't here first period; you don't answer your phone… Do you have any idea what possible reasons crossed my mind?" Andre angrily asked.

"I'm sorry, Andre." Tori said, looking at her best friend. She knew that he cared. He knew that he was scared for her. She gave him enough reasons to in the last few days. "I already explained to Beck that…"

"Yeah, he told me. But why do you keep doing that? Gosh, why does my creativity go up like this when I'm worried?" Andre moaned as he brought his hand up and massaged his temple.

"It won't happen again, I promise." She told him honestly.

"Please, don't let it happen again. For me." Andre said, looking at her with a concerned expression.

"I'm really sorry." She apologized again, not knowing what else to tell him. He let out a long sigh, his expression relaxing.

"It's alright. Beck told me you actually got some sleep last night."

"I did. I feel better already. Still, I've got a lot on my mind right now. I need to sort all that out first." She said.

"Alright. If you need me, you know I'm there for you." Andre said, his kind words stabbing her like a dagger as they reminded her of what happened earlier.

"Thank you. For everything." Tori said.

"Anything for you, girl." Andre said as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. The familiar sensation appeared again, as everything in front of her brightened up suddenly.

_In the backyard of a large house with a large tree, a young African American boy was kicking a ball around. He was around eight years old and ran around happily, shooting the ball through the backyard. An older lady, who was in her mid fifties, watched him happily as she sat in her chair, enjoying the beautiful weather. Then the boy shot the ball really hard with his full force and kicked it up high on the tree, where it got stuck._

_He ran towards the large tree and began climbing it, wanting his ball back._

"_Andre, come back down! It's too dangerous to climb that high!" His grandmother yelled as she stood up and ran towards the tree herself._

"_Don't worry grandma. I'll just grab my ball and I'm down in no time." Andre said, climbing even higher. He was close to the ball._

"_Andre, please, you'll get hurt! Climb down!" She yelled in a desperate voice filled with fear._

"_Just a moment!" He said as he grabbed the ball. That moment, his foot slipped from one of the branches._

_He fell down, the branches under him breaking as he hit them. He heard his grandma scream his name. She jumped up and ran towards him, hoping to catch him and break his fall. One of the branches fell down with him. He landed mere moments later. _

"_Ow." He moaned in pain, holding his shoulder and arm. He turned around, and his eyes froze on what was in front of them. His grandmother was lying on the ground next to him, blood coming out of her head, a branch lying next to her, covered in blood. _

"_Grandma?" Andre called, but she didn't respond._

"_Grandma!" He yelled, trying to pull her up, but his arm was useless. _

"_Help! Help her, please!" Andre screamed with all force he had. _

The vision ended, and guilt filled her chest immediately. She understood now what happened. That was the whole memory. Andre felt guilty for what happened that day. He hurt his grandmother with his actions.

"You alright?" Andre asked, seeing how Tori spaced out. She looked at him, not knowing what to say; what to do.

"Y-Yeah. I spaced out for a moment. I'm sorry." Tori said.

"You need a ride home?" Andre asked.

"No, I can drive. I need to get Cat home first." Tori said.

"Alright. Please, text me when you get home. Just so I can sleep at night." Andre pleaded.

"Sure. See you." Tori said as she turned around and walked away. She needed to think. She needed to take all this information in. She finally understood, and it was overwhelming her. The guilt she had felt every time he hugged her made sense now. But she did not know how to help him. She didn't know if she could.

**A/N**

**Long time no see. I know, I know, I haven't updated for a while, but please, hear (or read) me out. After writing around 10 stories in less than a year, I felt burned out. It wasn't even a writer's block or lack of inspiration. It was just that writing felt like an obligation and stopped being fun. I wasn't satisfied with anything I wrote during that time, so I took a month off. And after re-watching a few episodes of Victorious and reading some other fanfics, I felt that old urge to write back. And now I'm back. **


	9. Guilt

Tori stood in front of Andre's door for half an hour now, not knowing what to do. A part of her wanted to turn away. To go home and think this through one more time. She had no proof that Andre's memory was actually true. Sure, a few in the past have been correct, but that could have still been lucky guesses from her part. Most people have financial issues these days and Mandy's boyfriend was an asshole to begin with. All those things could have been lucky guesses and her mind could have just made up visualizations because of all the stress and lack of sleep she had in the last few weeks. There could be a perfectly good, logical explanation to what has been happening to her. At least that is what she tries to tell herself. She knows that it's probably the opposite. She knew that what she saw was too real to just be a trick her mind is playing on her. She knew that it was wishful thinking from her part, because she didn't know how to deal with it if it is indeed true. She knew that what she has seen is a memory from a long time ago. That it is a memory that has burdened her best friend with unbearable guilt. She knows too well how it feels when you hurt someone you care about. She knows too well that even if it's not done deliberately; even if it was an accident; even if hurting the person you love was never the intention, the guilt still stays, as does the pain the other person feels.

She took a long, deep breath and knocked on the door. The noise that was heard inside the house died down, and she heard one of the doors open. Half a minute later, the front door opened.

"Yes?" Andre asked, before realizing who was standing in front of him.

"Hi." Tori greeted with a small smile.

"Oh, hey girl. What brings you to my crib?" Andre asked, still standing in the doorframe.

"I didn't feel like being alone, so I hoped you would hang out with me." Tori lied. Well, not completely. She didn't feel like being alone in the empty house. The loneliness would make her think, and that would bring back memories she did not want to remember.

"Of course. Come in." Andre said as he stepped aside and motioned Tori to enter. She walked into the house and followed Andre up to his room.

"Did I interrupt you on something?" She asked, noticing all the sheets of paper on the ground.

"Not really. I was just cutting some of my songs together. I want to get at least twenty of them done by the end of the month." Andre explained as he picked up the sheets off the floor.

"Why do you need them?" Tori asked as she sat down in his chair.

"The label that had signed me a while ago, you remember?" Andre asked.

"Of course. They signed you after we sang 'Song 2 you', right?"

"Yes, them exactly. I finally got them to listen to a few of my songs, so I want to get them at least twenty. Who knows, if they like enough of them, maybe they'll have me record my own album." He explained.

"That would be awesome! I mean, they used a few of your songs already, haven't they?"

"Don't get me started. Sure, it's nice when they take your songs and someone else performs them. It's great when you hear your song on TV or in the radio. But what I want is to sing them myself. I want to be the guy on TV and on stage doing it. After all, who knows better what my songs mean than myself?"

"That is true. Good luck with that. I know you will show them how great you are." Tori said.

"Thanks, Tori. That means a lot. But first, I got to finish recording my songs." Andre said.

"Maybe I can help. Two minds work better than one." Tori said.

"Do you know how to handle recording software?" Andre asked. He motioned towards his PC. Tori looked and her eyes grew wide at all the buttons and options on the screen. Andre only smiled at her confused expression.

"I… could hit the record button for you." Tori said as she looked back at him, earning a laugh from her best friend.

"Thanks a lot, but I got this covered. Don't worry." He said as he closed the editor. "So? What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." Tori said as she looked down for a moment, trying to come up with something. "We could sing together. See if a few of your songs work as a duet." Tori suggested.

"Sure. Let's try this one." Andre said, handing her one of the sheets. She looked through it. The lyrics were rather happy and the melody was a happy one. It was a typical Andre sound. Happy go lucky melodies and lyrics that bring the atmosphere up either at school, at parties or just when he's hanging around with others. He would seem like someone who does not have a worry in his life. He's good looking, he has a great personality, sings, dances and plays more instruments than some people ever get to see in their lives. And yet, there is something only Tori seems to know about him. Something the guy who swore he could not hold any emotions back and keep them for himself has hidden from the world, even the people closest to him. Tori remembered how he said that he had trouble with keeping his emotions in check since he was a child. That statement makes so much sense to her now. He meant that one moment that changed his life. He was talking about that one day when everything changed for him.

They sang for at least two hours, just happily jamming and fooling around like two people with no worry in their lives. Nothing could be farther from truth, though.

As Tori looked through the sheets, she found a single song that was different. The tempo was much slower, the notes were deeper and the lyrics were sadder. She read through them, taking every word in. It was a song about a kid loosing its childhood innocence. No moment was mentioned, nothing really explained. But as she was humming the melody to herself, she almost felt the emotions of the song.

Andre snatched the sheet of paper out of her hands, making Tori jump out of surprise. He put the sheet on the table behind him. His happy expression was gone. His smile was replaced with him biting his both lips, as if he was trying to prevent himself from saying anything.

"That song was…" Tori began, trying to break the intense silence.

"That song was something personal I wrote a long time ago. I forgot that it was with the others." Andre said, looking down as he played some random notes on the guitar.

"What is it about?" Tori asked. She hoped that he would tell her. Not only would it make it easier on her as she wouldn't have to explain to him what was going on with her, but it also would confirm that was she had seen actually had happened.

"It's something that happened a long, long time ago and doesn't matter. It's no use bringing it up now." Andre said.

"Andre…" Tori said in a pleading voice, but he wouldn't have any of that.

"I said I would not talk about it." He said in an angrier tone. Tori looked at her friend. She had no choice now. It must be true, because it's something still affecting him this strongly. It's something that still brings him pain. If it didn't matter anymore; if he really was over it, he would not have kept the song. He would not have ripped it out of her hands like that.

"Is it when you climbed that tree when you were young and fell down?" Tori asked, looking at Andre. His head turned extremely fast as his eyes landed on the half Latina. He looked at her in disbelief. He wanted to say something, to deny it, but no sound made it out of his throat.

"H-how do you know?" Andre asked, his words barely above a whisper.

"I saw it." Tori said, a part of her relieved that she now knows the truth, yet another saddened about it.

"What do you mean you saw it?" Andre asked.

"There is something I haven't told you." Tori began. "I have had these visions for a while now. I've seen the whole thing. You kicking the ball up, climbing that tree and falling down. I've seen what happened to your grandmother."

"What the fuck do you mean with visions?" Andre asked, jumping up and dropping his guitar. Tori jumped back out of fear, never having seen her best friend this angry. Andre snapped out of his rage immediately when he saw Tori's fear filled reaction. "I-I'm sorry, Tori. I…"

"It's okay. I know it's hard to believe." Tori said.

"I don't understand…"

"It began the day I ran off from school during lunch. The whole day, whenever I touched someone or someone touched me, I saw something. I saw a memory from that person, and not just any memory, but a painful one. I saw something that caused so much pain to them that it still had an effect on them. When you placed your hand on my shoulder that day, I saw a part of it. And then, when you hugged me the next day, I saw another part. And today I saw the final one when you hugged me. I saw the complete memory." Tori explained.

Andre stood there, dumbfounded. He did not know what to say to her right now. He doubted anyone would in his situation.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Andre asked.

"Would you have believed me? I didn't understand myself what was going on, but now I do. And I want to talk to you about what happened." Tori said.

"There is no use talking about it. What happened, happened. It can't be undone, okay? So why talk about it." Andre asked, his voice becoming heavier; his throat beginning to ache. He covered his mouth with his hand, in hopes to silence what was to come. But it didn't help, as his breaths turned sharp and quick while tears slowly formed in his eyes.

"You said yourself, even if you can't change the situation, it's always easier to have someone with you. That's what friends are for." Tori repeated his words, hoping that he would finally understand.

"This is different, Tori. This isn't something that happened to me. This is something I did!"

"But why are you blaming yourself?" Tori asked, her voice getting louder this time.

"Because it's my fault!" Andre yelled, before covering his eyes with his hands and wiping away his tears.

"Andre…"

"I did not listen to her. I did not listen and climbed that fucking tree. Because of me, she got hurt. That's why she went crazy, Tori. It's because she saved my life! I would have landed on my head had she not caught me. But that fucking branch hit her in the head and gave her a trauma so severe that she never recovered. She used to be one of the smartest women I even knew. She always knew what to do; always had advice for my mother or my aunts. And look to what I reduced her. She can't last a day by herself because she would end up hurting herself. She forgets where she is, what she was doing. She forgets names, where she lives, fuck she sometimes forgets who her own children are. Who I am."

"Is that why you are living with her?" Tori asked.

"Yes. I am taking care of her because she is like this because of me!"

Andre screamed out before he dropped to his knees. His shoulders were trembling while silent tears run down his face and fell onto the floor from his chin.

Tori slowly walked towards him and kneeled down in front of him. She wrapped both arms around her crying friend, glad that she wore long sleeves again.

"You were a kid, Andre. You did what kids do. Nobody can blame you for that." Tori told him, trying to calm him down.

"B-B-But I..:" Andre tried to say through his sobs, but Tori wouldn't let him.

"Do you really believe that your grandma blames you? Do you really believe that anyone blames you for being a kid? I'm sure that the only thing your grandma feels about that is happiness because you didn't get hurt too seriously." She said, but Andre only shook his head.

"Tell me, would you blame your kid or even grandson one day for something he did when he was still a kid, even if it had such consequences on you?" She asked him.

"I-I don't know."

"You do. And I know your answer. You wouldn't, not for a moment. Nobody should blame a child for its mistakes. And nobody is blaming you but you yourself Andre." Tori said, tightening her grip around him. "You need to forgive yourself, Andre. You need to let it go. Just imagine how much worse your grandma would feel had something happened to you that day." Tori said.

Andre wrapped both his arms around Tori, crushing her in a hug. He cried himself out that day, releasing all the stored emotions he had buried inside all these years.

A few hours later, he finally had no tears left. Tori's words had done something. They raised that question in his mind; the question if he truly was the only one blaming himself.

"Where is your grandma now?" Tori asked, finally having noticed why something felt off the whole time.

"She is at my aunt's place. They know I have a lot of work these days so they decided to take care of her for a few days." Andre explained, his throat still sore from all the crying. "Thank you for listening to me."

"Don't thank me. That's what friends are for." Tori told him.

"If you ever need something…" Andre began.

"I know. And the same goes for you. Don't forget that." Tori said. Andre hugged her back, glad to have her in his life. Tori was still good old Tori. No matter what was going on in her life, she still had the time and strength to take care of her friends. Andre knew that already, and found out again today.


	10. Rollercoaster

The sharp sound of the alarm clock filled Tori's room as Tori punched it out a few moments later. She barely got any sleep, but that was still better than the norm, which was no sleep at all. She stayed with Andre until late last night, despite having school the next day. Still, it was a sacrifice worth doing. Andre felt better after their talk. He felt better after letting all which was buried deep inside out. He felt better after finally sharing that dark secret with someone else. Tori knew how guilt felt. She knew it when she broke up with Danny for a dumb reason. She knew it when she ruined Cat's relationship with him. She knew it when her actions almost cost Beck a role in a movie. She knew when she ruined Jade's play by doing the Prome.

Jade's reaction wouldn't leave her mind either. After having so much time to think about everything during all the sleepless nights, she remembered all the many things that had happened between them and how she wasn't an angel herself with her actions towards the Goth. Kissing Beck was her biggest mistake. She realized that once she got to know Jade a bit better and how insecure she seemed about him and their relationship altogether. Now, she didn't know what to do about her. Despite everything she had done, Tori really wanted to be Jade's friend. She really wanted to know her better, because there always was something about Jade she could not point out. There was something about Jade that told Tori that there was a lot more to her than meets the eye. The multiple visions she had in just that one short moment of physical contact made her realize that there is way more than she had ever imagined. What she felt that moment, that emptiness, was something she could not put into words. And Jade's reaction did not make her angry in any way. Jade's reaction only made her sad. It saddened her that one of her friends was carrying seemingly burdens of guilt with her, burdens which nobody knew of. And Tori wanted to help her with that, especially now once she felt what it is doing to Jade.

Tori got dressed and walked out of the yet again empty house and got into her car. She turned the radio on and made her way towards Hollywood Arts. Still, her mind did not drift away from Jade. Another reason she wanted to help Jade is because she owed it to her. Not only for the bad things she had done to the Goth, but for all the good things Jade had done for her. As much as it was always attempted to be hidden by the Goth, she did care about Tori. Be it by coming back and helping Tori get out of the Black Box theatre when she faked her black eye, be it pushing Tori onto the air mattress and with that helping her overcome her fear, be it by giving Tori honest critique about her work or just by keeping that healthy rivalry that makes them both overcome their own limits every time. Despite how Jade tried to masquerade it as if it was all for her own good, she still helped Tori even when everyone else did not. All that made Tori a stronger person and that was what she was most grateful for. Had she not met Jade, had Jade not made her grow as a person and human being, the current events would have broken her. And only because she changed so much from who she used to be, she was able to still somehow, someway survive everything.

Tori parked her car into an empty parking space, grabbed her things and walked into the school. She made her way towards her locker and entered her combination before opening it and placing the books inside she would need later that day. She let out a sigh as she looked at her image in the mirror. The last few days had taken a toll on her both mentally and physically. She stopped really worrying about her looks and it showed. She closed her locker shut with a loud thud and leaned on it, closing her eyes in an attempt to collect her thoughts and calm her mind. She could not give up now, not while so many of her close friends are hunted by demons from the past.

"I see you didn't sleep much either." She heard a familiar voice say. She opened her eyes to see Andre standing in front of her.

"That isn't really anything new for me." Tori said, earning a chuckle from Andre.

"Thank you again for talking to me. I… thought about what you said and I called my dad to tell him too. He told me everything you told me, and a lot more." Andre said.

"Do you feel better now?" Tori asked, not taking her eyes off her best friend.

"I do. I really do. I mean… I still feel guilty about what happened, but… time heals all wounds." Andre said.

"I think we both know better than that." Tori said.

"Well, if you put effort into it then it might be true." Andre answered.

"Try it and tell me then." Tori told him with a small smile. Andre shook his head at her attempts to be funny.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Tired. Very tired." Tori said.

"You shouldn't have come to school then." Andre told her.

"Andre… I've already missed so many days, and I can't let my personal issues distract me from my obligations." Tori answered.

"Very well. But if I catch a glimpse of you ready to faint because of fatigue again, I will personally pick you up and carry home. You can't just shrug off things like this."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You just make sure that you feel better. Okay?" Tori told him.

"Okay." Andre told her as he stepped forward and hugged her. He was careful this time, making sure he wouldn't cause a vision. If he had understood everything she told him last night, it was them that drain the most energy out of her. "I'll see you later." He said as he stepped back and walked to his class.

"Later." She told him, letting out a sigh once he was a few feet away. She was glad that he felt better. She was glad that he actually thought about this from a different perspective. But still, she could not enjoy that little moment of goodness. It was one of the few good things that got ridiculously outweighed by the negative ones.

"Do you plan to stand here for the rest of the day?" She heard Beck ask. She turned around to see him standing behind her, his bag lazily hung over his right shoulder.

"No, of course not. I need to get to class before the teachers arrives." Tori told him.

"Well, in that case you can take time. Mr. Miller is sick and school had no time to find a substitute, so we have those two hours off." Beck said.

"But that means we have free until lunchtime." Tori said.

"And that means you and I can get out of here and grab a coffee." Beck said with a small smile.

"Well, that's a bit better than biology." Tori said, holding back a smirk when she saw Beck frown.

"A bit better?" He asked.

"Just kidding. Let's go." Tori said.

Both walked into the café which was a block away from Hollywood Arts. It was almost empty; spare the waitress and an older man who was reading the papers. They sat down on the empty table next to the window.

"I've never been here." Tori said as she placed her bag on the chair next to her.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." Beck said as he sat down.

"Beck, what can I bring you?" The waitress shouted from her spot.

"Bring me the usual and a soda for the lady. Grab something yourself if you want." Beck answered and got a nod in response.

"Is that how you order drinks here?" Tori asked.

"If you are here as often as me, you sure do." Beck said. A few seconds later the waitress brought the coffee and the soda. She placed them on the table and gave them both a nod before walking back to her spot behind the counter.

"How do you feel?" Beck asked, after taking a long sip from his cup.

"I'm okay. Better than a few days ago, at least."

"Well, that can't be hard. You pretty much panicked out one day and passed out the next." Beck said.

"True. At least I catch some sleep from time to time now." Tori said.

"Look, I know it technically isn't my business, but can I ask what has been happening? I've been worried sick for a while now and maybe I can help. You know that you can talk to me about anything, don't you? And don't try to tell me that it's nothing, better tell me that it's not my business and I won't ask again." Beck asked. He was worried, and he had every reason to be. What he didn't know, however, is just how much of a mess Tori's life is right now.

"No, no, you deserve to know. It's just… hard to talk about it. But it's something I have to learn to do." Tori said.

She told Beck everything that happened at her home. From the very beginning with their constant arguments to how her mom left with Gary and how her dad and Trina have completely changed since then.

"Wow. Tori, I'm really sorry. I had no idea…" Beck said, trying to come up with something that could be helpful in any way.

"I know, nobody had until a few days ago. Cat and Andre know, too." Tori said.

"So that's why Trina hasn't been at school for a while." Beck said.

"Mhm. Dad doesn't force her and she just goes wherever, just so she doesn't need to be in the house." Tori said.

"And where does she go?" Beck asked.

"I don't know. I think that she is staying with a friend of hers. If it helps her, why not." Tori said.

"Sure. That is the most important right now." Beck said.

Tori looked at her friend. His stoic expression was still there, but something was different. She spotted some emotion in it for a short moment before they disappeared again. She wondered if it had something to do with the vision she got with him.

"It's almost 10 AM. We should head back." Beck said.

"Yeah, I don't want to miss more classes." Tori said as she reached for her purse. She took out some money, wanting to pay the drinks.

"Hold it right there. The drinks are on me." Beck said.

"You already paid lunch yesterday. Let me." Tori said as she held the money in her hand.

"Nope. I won't." Beck said as he put his hand on hers to push it back. Everything went bright in front of Tori's eyes.

_Beck was sitting at a table in a white room, talking to someone in a hospital gown. The woman's face looked strange; her gaze was glassy and distant. She didn't seem to react or notice to anything he had said. Beck sighed and patted the woman on the hand before getting up._

_He walked out of the room. One of the doctors was there. As he was writing something down on his board, he saw Beck standing there._

"_Anything new?" Beck asked the doctor, who only sadly shook his head._

"_No changes since last time, Beck." He said. Beck let out a sigh, drawing his hand through his hair. _

"_Beck, we are doing all we can. But I don't think that she will recover." The doctor said._

Tori snapped out of the vision and immediately noticed the anger that build up in her gut. She looked up at Beck who had walked towards the counter to pay. Tori took a deep breath, hoping that the anger would fade as all other emotions did. She was glad when a few moments later it was gone. But she still didn't know why the anger was there. She did not understand why he reacted with anger at the event she had seen. But she knew that she still had not seen everything. The vision wasn't complete. Maybe it would make sense if she saw the whole memory.

"Ready to go?" She heard Beck ask, which snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, let's go." Tori said as she grabbed her back and they walked outside.

They were back at school a few moments later. Both walked out into the Asphalt Café.

"Great, we just arrived at the rush hour." Beck said when he saw the large line in front of the truck.

"I'm not hungry. I'll wait for you at the table." Tori said. Beck nodded and she walked towards their usual spot. It was still empty, which meant that her friends either were still in class or maybe in the line for food. She sat down and leaned her elbows on the table. She rested her head on her palms and looked down at the table. She wondered if she would have those visions for the rest of her life. That idea frightened her. The idea of knowing the darkest secrets of the people next to you was as bad to her as the knowledge that she would never be able to enjoy a hug, a kiss or even a handshake from anyone in her life without having a vision.

"Vega." She heard the familiar voice say. She looked up to see Jade sitting next to her.

"Hey." Tori said as she sat up straight. Awkward silence filled the little world they both were now in. They didn't perceive anything happening around them. All they could hear was the deafening silence between them.

"Jade, look… I'm sorry about yesterday. I did not want to make you angry or offend you. I…" Tori began, trying to come up with something. She heard Jade sigh, which shifted her attention back to the Goth.

"Vega, you don't need to apologize." Jade said.

"Jade…"

"No. It was me who overreacted. And I'm sorry. I know you meant well, in your own kinda way." Jade said. Tori was taken back at her apology. It was a rollercoaster as always with her.

"How are you?" Jade asked her. It only surprised Tori more. It was the first time Jade had ever asked her that.

"I've slept maybe one night in the whole week." Tori honestly said. She did not want to lie to Jade. For whatever reason, she did not think it was necessary.

"It's because your mind is too busy trying to figure out certain things." Jade said.

"H-how do you?"

"Experience, Vega. Why do you think I like coffee this much? It keeps you awake and gives you an energy boost. You should try it sometime." Jade told her. "Look, Cat told me what happened." Jade said.

Tori's eyes grew wide at what she had just heard. How could Cat do something like that? She knew that Jade would not believe that Tori has visions. She would only mock her for telling Cat that.

"W-what did she tell you?" Tori asked.

"About your family issues. I'm sorry to hear how much of a cunt your mother is." Jade said nonchalantly.

"I wish I could tell you that it's not like that." Tori said. A rock fell off her heart. She felt bad for believing that Cat would share everything like that. She probably only told Jade that Tori's mother left with another man.

"You need to shake it off and move on. There is no point in hanging on to it." Jade said.

"I tried. But it just won't leave my mind." Tori told her.

"Give it time. It will." Jade said. Suddenly, her phone rang. She took it out of her pocket and read the message. She let out an annoyed groan as she put her phone back. "I have to go. Sikowitz wants to talk about my next play with me." Jade said as she got up.

"Thank you for the conversation." Tori said.

"Don't mention it. I owed you that one." Jade said as she walked off.


	11. Hidden talent

Still at lunch, Tori was sitting at her table after Jade had left. Beck was still waiting in line and the others were probably too. Jade's words and behavior would not leave Tori's mind. It did not surprise her that much that Jade was nice to her. Although it happened seldom, it still happened from time to time. What surprised her were Jade's words. Not only what she told Tori but how she told her all that. Her voice seemed so secure; so full of experience. She seemed to know exactly what was going on in Tori's head and what effect it had on her. It intrigued the half Latina only more. She wanted to know what Jade had been through. Tori suspected a few things already. She knew that Jade had issues with her family and despite the façade Jade put on, Tori also knew that Jade could be insecure at times. She had been on of the very few people who had seen there in that state.

Tori felt two arms wrap around her shoulder and lean her cheek on hers. Tori gasped out of surprise, but calmed down immediately afterwards. That already let her know who it was, as there was currently only one person that could calm her down like that.

"Hey Cat." Tori said, leaning back into the hug.

"Hi!" Cat said happily, dragging the "i" as always.

"I'm so glad you are here." Tori said, putting her hand on Cat's arm and giving it a light squeeze. Cat let her go and sat down next to her.

"Did something happen?" Cat asked.

"Quite a few things. I saw a part of Beck's memory, but not the whole one yet." Tori said, looking at the redhead who carefully listened.

"Was it bad?" Cat asked.

"I don't know. I have no idea what it could be." Tori said. She would not tell Cat the details and Cat knew that. It was something personal not even Tori is supposed to know, so telling it to other people was a no-no.

"I hope it isn't too bad." Cat said, looking concerned.

"I also talked to Jade." Tori said. Cat's eyes grew wide at that statement.

"T-Tori, I'm sorry. I..:" Cat stuttered, her voice and eyes filled with quilt. Tori told her everything in confidence, but Jade would just not let Cat get away without answers.

"It's okay. I'm not mad. I'm sure she somehow forced you to do so." Tori said. She also knew why Jade had told her. It wasn't that she wanted to throw Cat under the bus. Jade knew that Tori would add two and two together when she found out that Jade knew, and that would be the worst of all options.

"You are not mad at me?" Cat asked again. Tori shook her head no.

"No. You probably saved me from a difficult conversation I would have had in the future. And thank you for not telling her about the other thing. I don't know how she would have reacted to that." Tori said.

"I would never tell that. I only told her about your family issues, but I didn't go much into details, I swear." Cat said.

"I know." Tori said as she leaned to the side on Cat. "Why did you tell her in the first place?"

"Jade really wanted to know what happened and… I told her that I didn't know but she didn't believe me. She knows me too well, I guess." Cat said.

"I'm sure she does. You two are best friends, after all." Tori said. She saw Cat smile up a little.

"She is great when you get to know her better. She just… has problems when she needs to open up to others, that's all." Cat said.

"But why? What happened?" Tori asked.

"I'm not sure. I think it could be…" Cat began, but stopped when she got interrupted.

"Hello, ladies." Robbie said as he sat down on the table with his plate.

Tori wanted to hit him over the head with it right then. His timing was ridiculously good when it came to being at the right place at the wrong time. She was so close to finding out something important about Jade, and of course someone had to interrupt.

"Hi Robbie!" Cat greeted him happily as always.

"Is everything alright?" Robbie asked, looking at Tori. Tori had to hold herself back in order not to yell at her friend. Cat noticed her distress, and put her hand on Tori's under the table. She saw Tori's expression change as she relaxed. Tori calmed down immediately again. She was glad that Cat was there, because she would have lashed out at Robbie who actually didn't do anything wrong.

"Yeah, everything's fine." Tori said.

"Look, I need a favor from you." Robbie said.

"A favor?"

"Yes. I have an assignment to do until next week and I need someone to help me record a few things." Robbie said.

"What type of assignment?" Cat asked.

"I'm making a longer animation for Film Arts and this is my end project. If I do this right, I will have an A in that class." Robbie proudly said. "I've been working on it since the beginning of the semester, and I need you to do the voiceover for one of the characters. It's an hour or two of work at the most."

"Maybe I can do it?" Cat suggested. She knew that Tori was exhausted from everything that happened recently and needed to relax and rest.

"You already voice one of the characters. Did you forget?" Robbie asked.

"Oh. Yeah, I forgot." Cat said, remembering that she already gave her voice to the female protagonist.

"Tori, please. I really need your help." Robbie pleaded.

"Sure. I'll help you. We'll meet after school in the parking lot." Tori said.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Robbie said, a wide smile forming on his lips.

Beck walked over to the table, looking as annoyed as ever.

"What's up with you?" Robbie asked as Cat and Tori shifted their attention towards Beck.

"I waited fifteen minutes in that damn line only to find out that they are out of tacos and burgers. Talk about my luck." Beck said in an annoyed voice.

"Why don't you order something?" Cat asked.

"I would, but lunch is over in five minutes. Another three hours of classes with an empty stomach will be fun." Beck said, sarcasm pouring out of his voice.

The day went on as usually. Tori barely followed anything going on in classes and to her luck no teacher bothered her with any questions. She was lucky that her previous constant hard work had made her a favorite amongst them, which now came in as a blessing for her. She did not know what to think about anymore. What happened to her, what happened to Andre, Beck's memory, Robbie's memory and the irresistible wish to finally find out what had happened to Jade were too much for her right now. It were too many things that decided to occur in such a short amount of time. If it wasn't for Cat being able to calm her down like that, she would have gone crazy by now.

As soon as her last class had finished, Tori walked out of the classroom and out of Hollywood Arts. She made her way towards the parking lot, where she had left her car. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't even noticed someone standing next to her car. She jumped out of shock when she realized that Trina was standing next to her car.

"Trina! You scared the hell out of me!" Tori said, putting her hand on her chest while breathing heavily.

"Gosh, it's easy to scare you." Trina said, rolling her eyes.

"Are you finally back in school?" Tori asked, looking at her older sister.

"No, not yet. I don't want to deal with any of that yet." Trina said, looking down at her shoes to avoid Tori's stare.

"I understand." Tori said.

"Look, I need to borrow your car. I'll bring it back tomorrow." Trina said.

"What happened to your car?" Tori asked.

"It broke down again. It's in the garage and should be ready in a few days, but I really need the car for tonight." Trina explained.

"I need it too." Tori said.

"Tori, please!" Trina said, putting her hands together as if she was begging. Tori let out an annoyed groan before taking her car keys out of her pocket and throwing it towards Trina.

"Thanks! I'll bring it back tomorrow." Trina said as she unlocked the car and opened the driver's door.

"Don't leave any garbage!" Tori yelled as Trina started the engine and reversed out of the parking lot and sped off.

Tori let out a sigh as she looked around. She knew that she would have to walk back home from Robbie's now.

"Hey. I hope you haven't been waiting here for long." Robbie said as he walked towards Tori.

"No, I've just arrived here myself." Tori said.

"Are we going by car or?" Robbie asked, looking around.

"Trina took my car. We'll have to walk." Tori said.

"Don't worry. I don't live far from here." Robbie said.

They arrived at Robbie's place five minutes later. He unlocked the large, wooden door and motioned Tori to walk inside. She did so, looking around as she walked into the large living room. She stood in awe as she saw all the things the Shapiro's had in their living room. From books, expensive paintings to instruments, there wasn't a single item there that wouldn't make an artist jump out of joy.

"Like what you see?" Robbie asked, a smirk present on the edge of his lips.

"I would spend the rest of my life here if I could." Tori said as she walked around and looked closer at the books.

"Let's go upstairs before you drool on anything." Robbie said as he walked upstairs. Tori followed him and walked through the only open door. She stopped in her tracks to absorb her surroundings. Robbie's room was something you wouldn't even see in on television. The flat screen TV and the laptop weren't even the beginning. The large room was filled with a large bed, a couple of closets and multiple unique looking bookshelves and a large desk leaned on the side of the room next to the slide door that lead to his own balcony. To say that Robbie was well off was an understatement. What then caught her eye was a large board on the desk which was connected to the laptop. She saw the pens next to it and what looked like a two-fingered black glove next to it.

"I forgot, you've never been here." Robbie said as he lazily threw his bag on his bed and sat down next to the desk.

"What is that board?" Tori asked as she walked towards the desk.

"This, my dear Tori, is my animation board, the place where I spend most of my free time." Robbie said.

"Why didn't you tell anyone that you animate?" Tori asked.

"Cat and Beck already know, so I guessed that you others did too. What did you think I meant when I asked you to do the favor for me?" Robbie asked.

"I thought you had some sample and just needed the voiceover. I had no idea." Tori said.

"Well, now you know." Robbie said.

"Have you already made anything?" Tori asked.

"A lot of things. A few short movies, some skits and so on. Now, I'm working on the 10 minute movie for my final project. I need to do some more editing and polish up the animations of some parts and I'm done." Robbie said as he pulled out a box from underneath the desk and took out a few cables and a microphone.

"You can go and watch it if you want while I set this up. It's called 'Majora's Path', on the desktop." Robbie said while he tried to unknot all the cables.

Tori took the laptop and placed it in her lap. She found the file immediately and opened it. The animation started a few moments later with what seemed a lone wanderer walking through a path in the woods. Tori looked on as the nature around the character seemed to change into a water-world and continued to change as he continued his journey while some melody played in the background. He spoke to multiple people on his way, but there was no sound for the dialogue yet.

"There is no sound for the dialogues?" Tori asked.

"I haven't yet come to edit it. I want to have all the pieces before I set them all together." Robbie said as he tried to pull one of the cables, only for it to tie itself even more up in the mess. "Goddamnit!" He cursed.

Tori continued watching as slowly in the final part he arrived in the woods again. He had progressed in his age during the journey and had finally seemingly arrived back home.

"Robbie, this is amazing! What was that song in the background?" Tori asked, looking at him.

"It's called 'Under an old Tree'. It's from a video game I used to play. I love that melody." Robbie said as he finally got the cables untied and plugged them into the microphone. "Here you go. Wait." Robbie said as he reached towards his laptop and moved the cursor towards another file. He opened it, and inside were multiple word documents. He opened one of them. It was filled with dialogues. "This is what I would ask you to record for me. Read them through and do them a few times over if you can." Robbie said as he placed the microphone in from of her before placing the cover over it.

"That's a lot of dialogue." Tori said, scrolling through the four pages.

"I know. I'm not sure which one of them I'm going to use yet." Robbie said as he sat down on his desk. "If you want to drink something, I have a small fridge next to the bed. Now if you would excuse me, I need to do some drawing." Robbie said as he put on the glove and took one of the pencils.

After many hours of rereading and adjusting, Tori's part had finally been done.

"Thank you for doing this." Robbie said as he saved the sound file.

"When will you be done with the animation completely?" Tori asked.

"In a week or two. Why?" Robbie asked.

"When you are done, I want you to give me a copy. This is amazing." Tori said. Robbie smiled at the compliment. It was something he didn't receive very often.

"Thanks. I'll give you one as soon as it's done. I promise." Robbie said.

"I should go. It's late and I'm tired." Tori said as she grabbed her bag.

"Thank you again for helping me out with this." Robbie said as he walked her downstairs towards the door.

"Don't forget to bring me the copy." Tori reminded him again.

"I won't. I promise." Robbie said as he opened the door for him.

"You know, you should let this side of you show more often. I mean the creativity and confidence you had just shown while you worked on your project." Tori said.

"Easier said than done. But I'll give it a shot." Robbie said.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school." Tori said.

"See you." Robbie said. Before he stepped away, he found two arms wrap around his neck and shoulder. Tori was hugging him. He was completely caught of guard, but hugged her back a moment later. That moment, everything went bright in front of Tori's eyes.

_A young Robbie was sitting in his room reading some of his comic books and imitating the actions of the heroes in them._

"_Robbie!" He heard someone yell from downstairs._

"_Yes?" He yelled back, not taking his eyes off of the comic._

"_The phone. It's for you." His mother yelled as Robbie jumped up and headed downstairs._

_He took the phone out of her hand and pressed it against his ear. _

"_Mhm. Mhm. Mkay, I'll be outside in half an hour." Robbie said as he put the phone back. He ran into the kitchen to tell his mother about his plans and to grab something to eat. Suddenly, the vision jumped for a short time, as Robbie had different clothes on and was heading outside. He opened the door before the bright sunlight blinded him for the moment. _

The vision ended that moment, but Tori wasn't staggered at all by it. She had slowly gotten used to it, so that it barely surprised her now when it happened.

"Bye." She told him as they separated and she walked towards her house while Robbie went inside and shut the door behind him.

She knew that she had quite a walk ahead of her, but that would only give her more time to think. She wondered what had happened to Robbie, but was also genuinely surprised by his interests she had no idea off. He really had a great talent with what he did. She only wished he would show that more often, for his own sake. Way too many people at Hollywood Arts underestimated him and wrote him off as a weird nerd.

She had walked for a few minutes before a car stopped next to her. Her heart began racing as her imagination ran wild. She wanted to run, but her legs wouldn't move. But when the window rolled down, she was more than surprised to see Jade sitting in the car.

"Jade?" Tori asked, not believing her eyes.

"Come on, get inside." Jade said. After a moment, Tori nodded and opened the door before sitting down in the car. "What are you doing here this late?" Jade asked.

"I was at Robbie's place helping him with a project. What are you doing here?" Tori asked, looking at the Goth.

"Just driving around. I was too bored at home and decided to make a little trip. Want me to drop you off at your place?" Jade asked.

"Yes. Thanks." Tori said.

The car ride was silent from then on. Jade was focused on the road ahead of her while Tori contemplated whether she should ask Jade anything now or just leave the moment be as it is. They arrived at Tori's place ten minutes later as Jade turned into the empty driveway.

"Nobody home?" Jade asked, seeing that all lights were off.

"Probably not." Tori said.

"Where are your dad and Trina?" Jade asked boldly.

"Dad is probably burying himself in work while Trina has something to do somewhere. I don't know the details." Tori said, still not looking at the other girl. "Thank you for the ride."

"Don't mention it. And don't let all this drag you down. There is no point in that." Jade said as she looked at Tori.

"I'm trying not to let it." Tori said.

"Well, you keep trying. You are too dumb to give up anyway." Jade said with a smirk.

"Thanks a lot, Jade." Tori said, a small smile forming itself on the edge of her lips. She opened the door and got out of the car. "Are we friends now?" Tori asked as she looked back in the car before closing the door. Jade didn't answer immediately, but seemed to be thinking.

"Hm. What do you think?" Jade asked, looking back at Tori.

"I think we are." Tori said.

"Then I guess you and I are friends now. See you tomorrow." Jade said as she started the engine again.

"Bye." Tori said as she closed the door. She watched Jade reverse out of her driveway and speed off.


	12. Night in the woods

Friday finally arrived again for Tori, and she could not wait for it. She wanted those few days off to finally rest and relax. She never felt as weak as she did now after those few weeks. She hoped that her body would cooperate with her at least one night and allow her to catch a few hours of good sleep. She needed that more than anything right now. Her mind had suffered from all that insomnia. Everything around her seems to move slower. Her mind can't focus at all and she can't remember basic things for a few moments. She blacks out every now and then and she didn't want to collapse again. If she did, Lane would call her father and she didn't want to put any more stress on him than he already has. She hasn't seen him since the day her mother walked out on them. She had only caught glances of him before he left the house to go to work. She felt helpless about so many things these days, and it just keeps adding up for her.

Lunchtime came quickly and Tori was glad because it meant that half of her day was already over. She didn't really know what had been going on in the previous classes, and honestly, she didn't care at all. Right now she only wanted for weekend to arrive and to allow her to rest.

"You look awful." Andre said as he looked at his best friend. Tori turned her attention to him, a small, weak chuckle escaping her.

"Thanks a lot. You really know how to cheer me up." Tori joked, taking another sip of her water.

"You know what I mean. You look tired and… done." Andre said.

"Done?" Tori asked, wondering what he meant with that.

"You look like you are one second away from falling apart, Tori. Is there anything I can help you with?" Andre asked, worry pouring out of his voice.

"Don't worry about me. I'm okay. I'm not someone who gives up easily." Tori said, flashing Andre a smile.

"Are you sure?" Andre asked.

"You know me. I never accept defeat, no matter what." Tori said.

"That's true." Andre said, smiling himself. "But if there is…"

"Anything you can do, I will let you know. Don't worry." Tori said, finishing his sentence for him. The rest of the gang was there a few minutes later. They talked about nothing particular, until Beck brought up something.

"Do you guys have any plans for toning and tomorrow?" Beck asked. Everybody shook their head no. Tori wanted to say sleep, but she wasn't sure herself whether that would happen anyway.

"I thought that we could go camping tonight and stay there until the morning." Beck said, looking around at his friends.

"How did you come up with camping out of the blue?" Andre asked him.

"I was cleaning my attic yesterday and found my old tent. I haven't been camping for so long and I really would love to. I know a great spot in the woods half an hour from here." Beck explained.

"And what would we do?" Jade asked.

"Hang out; have a BBQ, make a campfire and when it gets dark you can share some scary stories with us." Beck said, earning a grin from Jade.

"Well put, Oliver." Jade said with a smirk. "Why not? I'm in."

"Count me in, too. I think I have a tent lying somewhere in my place." Andre said. The others agreed quickly, all now looking at Tori and waiting for her response.

"Alright." Tori said with a small sigh. "Count me in, too."

"Yay!" Cat said, hugging Tori quickly out of joy and to offer her a small moment of serenity, which overcame Tori almost immediately.

"Great. So we can take my car and..:" Beck began, waiting for someone to take up the offer.

"My car." Andre said.

"And Andre's car. We will pick you up around six and then head towards the woods." Beck finished.

The day went on rapidly as it was already five before six and Tori was sitting on her porch. She was wearing old jogging pants and an old t-shirt. She had prepared some food for the BBQ and something to drink, all placed in her backpack. She saw the car drive in front of her a minute later. She got up and walked towards the car, where she saw Andre sitting on the driver's spot and Robbie sitting in the passenger seat.

"How long have you been waiting?" Andre asked as Tori entered the car.

"A few minutes. I really didn't have anything left to do in the house." Tori said.

"Alright. Let's go." Andre said as he reversed out of her driveway and drove towards the spot he and Beck agreed to meet at. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the parking space, but Beck was nowhere to be found yet. Just as they all got out of Andre's car, they saw Beck drive towards them and enter the parking lot. He, Cat and Jade got out of the car and took out their backpacks from the trunk.

"Follow me. It's a short walk through the woods." Beck said as the others followed him. After ten minutes of walking Beck stopped as they arrived at a cleaned out space in the woods. It was visible that it had been used recently. "Here we are." Beck said as he put his backpack down.

"So, we splitting into groups?" Andre asked.

"Sure. We guys will get some firewood while you girls can set up the tents. Is that alright with you ladies?" Beck asked.

"Of course. Just don't hurt yourselves." Jade mocked.

"Yeah, you'll see. We'll have a campfire in no time." Andre said as the guys left.

Half an hour later, they came back with the firewood, each carrying as much as he could. They were more than glad to see that the girls were struggling with the first tent, seemingly not able to set the frame correctly. Tori was sitting next to it, trying to figure out how the frame should look, Jade was cursing at two pieces that wouldn't connect while Cat was typing something on her phone and laughing at the other two girl's miseries.

"How is it going?" Andre asked, a wide grin appearing on his face.

"You are going to have a pole up your ass if you say anything else, Harris!" Jade hissed with venom in her voice, making Andre's grin disappear immediately.

"Don't mind them. Let's get the fire starting." Robbie said as he put down his pieces.

In the next half hour, everything reversed. Somehow, Tori and Jade figured out how to build the first tent and were done with the second one almost immediately, now knowing how it was done, while the guys struggled with getting the fire started.

The girls were watching them struggle with great delight. All three were kneeling by the rocks they had placed to mark where the fire would be. Beck had been trying to start a fire by rubbing two pieces together for twenty minutes now while Andre was smashing two small rocks together in order to get a spark. Robbie tried both methods himself, but no matter what they did, they could not get a fire started.

"I really hope I never get stranded with you guys on a desolated island. You guys really suck." Jade said. The three looked at her angrily, their pride shattered by their taunts.

"Haha. Really funny, Jade. Come on, let's see you try." Beck said, throwing the two pieces to the ground and resting his hands on his knees.

Jade walked towards them, her smirk never leaving her lips. She kneeled down next to the spot and, while giving them a small smile, took out a Zippo lighter out of her pocket and turned it on. She lit the small pieces of paper and the firewood caught fire a few moments later. She got up and walked back towards the girls. The guys looked at the fire with a defeated expression, while Cat was giggling at their misfortune and even Tori had to chuckle.

"You had a lighter all this time?" Beck asked in a defeated tone.

"Mhm." Jade uttered.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Robbie asked, his voice seemingly close to breaking.

"How is it going?" Jade asked, mimicking Andre's voice as she looked at him. "That's why. Not start the BBQ. Watching you guys fail made me hungry." Jade said as she sat down on her backpack.

"They made us look like idiots." Andre said, looking at his friends.

"All thanks to you." Beck said as he got up and walked towards his backpack. He picked it up and carried it to the others. He took out a few bricks and a BBQ wire and placed the bricks around the wire before placing the wire on it. In the meantime, Robbie got all the food they had brought together and took over the duties of BBQing and preparing everything.

"I never knew you were good at this." Beck said as he watched Robbie check the meet and keep the fire going.

"You learn things here and there." Robbie said as he took a finished piece of steak and placed it carefully in the roaster.

"Is there anything else we don't know about you?" Andre asked as he added a piece of wood to the fire while Robbie held the wire up.

"Not really." Robbie said in a neutral tone.

The BBQ was done half an hour later. Cat took out the paper plates and plastic tableware while Tori cut the bread into slices. They all sat down around the fire and ate, enjoying the warmth the fire radiated.

"This is so good." Cat said as she cut herself another piece of steak.

"You can thank the BBQ master here. Just when I think you can't surprise me anymore, you do, and this time with something positive." Andre said as he patted Robbie on the back.

"I'm glad you guys like it." Robbie said.

"Well, there had to be something useful in him next to everything else." Jade said. Robbie's expression immediately became neutral again, the small smile he had after receiving those compliments disappearing with Jade's words.

Tori seemed to be the only one who noticed that, but she didn't say anything. She thought that the comment was both mean and unnecessary, but still, it was Jade. What else could she expect?

A few hours later they decided to tell some campfire stories. Andre went first, trying to be as scary as possible.

"And as he turned around, a knife stabbed him in the face!" Andre yelled, looking at his friends who didn't even flinch at his story. It was only worse for him when Jade yawned.

"My brother once stabbed himself in the face." Cat said suddenly. Everyone turned her attention to her. "He thought that there was a fly on his face and he wanted to kill it. He's okay though. He hit it only with the blunt side." She explained. Everyone shook their head at the story, deciding not to ask any further questions.

"Alright, the story wasn't that good." Andre admitted.

"It was awful." Jade said, cutting a few branches with her scissors.

"Well then, let's hear one from you." Beck said.

"Finally!" Jade said as she sat up straight and looked at everyone around her. "There is this story I remember reading online. It went something like this: There was a hunter in the woods, who, after a long of day hunting, was in the middle of an immense forest. It was getting dark, and having lost his bearings, he decided to head in one direction until he was clear of the increasingly oppressive foliage. After what seemed like hours, he came across a cabin in a small clearing. Realizing how dark it had grown, he decided to see if he could stay there for the night. He approached, and found the door ajar. Nobody was inside. The hunter flopped down on the single bed, deciding to explain himself to the owner in the morning.

As he looked around the inside of the cabin, he was surprised to see the walls adorned by several portraits, all painted in incredible detail. Without exception, they appeared to be staring down at him, their features twisted into looks of hatred and malice. Staring back, he grew increasingly uncomfortable. Making a concerted effort to ignore the many hateful faces, he turned to face the wall, and exhausted, he fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, the hunter awoke — he turned, blinking in unexpected sunlight. Looking up, he discovered that the cabin had no portraits, only windows." Jade finished. She watched everyone stare at her for a moment before realization hit them. She watched in delight as fear and horror crept into their faces after what they had just heard.

"So? How was that?" Jade asked.

"I-I-It was good." Andre said, his voice higher than usual as he looked around.

"Thank you." She said, happy with herself. "Want to hear another one?" She asked.

"NO!" They all yelled in unison, terrified at the idea.

"Your loss." She said, returning to her previous activity.

The hours passed as the friends talked, sang and ate some more. The moonlight created a beautiful atmosphere within the woods while the fire gave comfortable warmth to the all. Around one AM, they decided to call it a day and retreated into their tents. They guys stayed in one tent while the girls slept in the other one. Well, everyone slept except Tori. It wasn't because she was sleeping in a tent or anything. It was because her mind would not let her rest. She had so many things she needed to figure out that her mind could not keep a single train of thoughts up for too long before drifting away to another. She made peace with the fact that she wouldn't be able to sleep this night anyway, so she threw the blanket of herself slowly, not wanting to wake up either Cat or Jade. She put her shoes on and made her way to the campfire. It had almost gone out, so she grabbed a few pieces of firewood left and placed them in it. The fire reignited again as she sat down on her backpack and stared at the flame. She hugged her knees to her chest while she observed the beautiful red flame in front of her dance. It was mesmerizing; it drew her in almost immediately, taking all her attention and focus with it. Tori wondered what Trina was up to. She hadn't seen her this morning as she had hoped to. She only found her car in their driveway and a note that said "Thank you" on the driver's seat. She wondered if her dad even noticed that she wasn't home currently. She guessed that he didn't, since he was too absorbed into his work in a desperate attempt to not think about what had been going on in his life in the last few weeks. Tori rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm them up. Despite having a vest on and sitting next to the fire, she was still cold. Her body had gone crazy because of her lack of sleep and she knew that. She wondered how she hadn't become sick by now. Her immune system was probably at an all time low for her.

Suddenly, she felt something on her shoulders and then the rest of her body. She looked down to see that it was a bigger jacket. Before she could even turn around, she noticed that someone had sat down next to her. She turned her head to see the Goth looking at the fire. She saw the fire reflect on Jade's pale face, making it look as if she was glowing. Tori was again mesmerized, but this time by the beauty of the other girl.

"Your mind is not letting up, is it?" Jade asked, looking at the fire.

"It never does." Tori said, shifting her eyes from Jade back to the fire.

"Come on. Talk to me." Jade said, finally looking at the half Latina next to her.

"What is there to talk about?" Tori asked.

"I'm sure that there is a lot that we could talk about." Jade said.

"You already know what happened to my family." Tori said.

"I do."

"Then what is there to talk about?" Tori asked.

"I don't care about that." Jade said, her statement making Tori look at her. "I want to know what's going on in your head right now. That is what matters." Jade said.

"There are a lot of things going on at the same time." Tori said, aware that she was avoiding the question in a way.

"And you can't focus on a single one long enough before another one jumps in." Jade said, looking at Tori and waiting for a reaction. She got that when Tori nodded.

"I'm worried about my sister and my dad. I have barely seen them since…" Tori began, but couldn't finish. Mentioning what her mother did out loud always felt the same. It felt like a knife being trusted right into her back.

"Say it." Jade said, looking at Tori.

"Since… Holly left with Gary." Tori said. She didn't want to call her mother anymore. A mother would not do that to her own kids.

"How do you feel about that?" Jade asked in a calm voice.

"How do you think I feel?" Tori asked back, anger pouring out of her voice as she looked at the other girl. Jade didn't flinch at Tori's sudden outburst. She looked at the other girl knowingly, as if she had been through something like this hundredths of times before.

"I have my ideas, but I want you to tell me. I want you to really tell me how that makes you feel." Jade said.

"Why?" Tori asked, her voice near breaking.

"Because it's easier when you admit it." Jade said.

"I already admitted it to myself." Tori said.

"No you didn't." Jade said, a light chuckle escaping her.

"What?" Tori asked. "How do you know if I did or didn't?"

"Because I know you. You are still searching for a possible explanation or reason that would result in all this mess to finally make some sense." Jade explained.

Tori only shook her head in disbelief. She began crying again, something that became the norm with her the moment reality decided to confront her. It was such a mess and still she could not get a grip on everything. Jade was right. She was still in denial. She was still hoping that her mother would return and that everything would be back to how it used to be before that incident. She still held hope like a child does, believing in an ultimate justice.

"Why do you think that you know me?" Tori asked.

"For years, you've been carrying your heart around like an open book. Do you really think that after all these years we know one another there is something about you that I don't know? I know how you think. I know how your mind operates." Jade said. She shifted her body so that she was now facing the other girl.

"Have you ever felt like… just giving up?" Tori asked. "Just… admitting defeat and giving up on everything?"

"I'm not someone who gives up, and neither are you." Jade said.

"But what when all this becomes too much to handle?" Tori asked.

"Then you let others help you and take some of the burden." Jade said nonchalantly.

"But how is that fair to the others? I can't expect them to carry ma cross. All of us have something that is dragging us down. How would it be fair if I ask anyone to take any more on them?" Tori asked.

"With that analogy you are the most unfair cunt in the world because all you do is take the burden of other people on you." Jade said with a smirk.

"That's not the same." Tori said.

"And how is it not the same?" Jade asked, in her Sweet Sally Peaches voice. Tori laughed out loud, for the first time glad to hear the voice that was always used to mock her.

"It's just…"

"Don't be a hypocrite. If you could help out so many, especially us in our small little group here, then let others help you too. Let the others do what you always do for them. It's only fair." Jade said.

"And how would that help?" Tori asked.

"Hell if I know. But I doubt that it can be worse than what's going on right now, can it?" Jade asked.

"I don't think it can." Tori admitted after thinking about it for a second.  
"So where's the problem?" Jade asked.

"You are right." Tori said.

"I know I am." Jade said with a smirk. "Now let's go and catch some sleep." Jade said as she got up.

"Thank you for the conversation." Tori said.

"You're welcome." Jade said as both now stood in front of the tent. "Let me guess, you want a hug now, don't you?" Jade asked.

"You really do know me well." Tori said with a small smile.

"As if Cat isn't annoying enough with that... But why not." Jade said. Tori stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jade. She felt Jade hug her back a moment later. Tori knew what was going to happen next, and as much as she just wanted to enjoy the rare moment of kindness from the Goth, she also hoped to find out what had happened in her past. A single moment later, everything went bright in front of her.

_A young Jade was sitting in a chair in the living room where all hell was breaking loose. Her mother and father were yelling at one another, cursing and insulting along the way. Jade begged them to stop, but they only lashed out at her for that before going back to yelling at each other. _

"_I've had it!" Mr. West yelled before he dashed upstairs. Almost immediately later, he came down with a suitcase._

"_What are you doing?" Ms. West asked him. _

"_You can go and live with that asshole you've been fucking with for the last six months." He said as he threw the suitcase that had her clothes and other things out of the door. She ran outside towards her things. _

"_You can't do this!" She yelled back at him to the house. _

_That moment Jade couldn't take it anymore. Crying already, she covered her ears and ran upstairs towards her room. She shut the door and threw a pillow over her head in hopes to silence her surroundings, but to no avail.  
"What about Jade?" Jade heard her mother yell from outside. _

"_She's staying with me!" Her father yelled. _

"_What? No! I won't let you have her!" Her mother yelled from outside. _

"_Then take me to court and explain to them why you were bringing your boyfriend to our house to fuck him while Jade was asleep in the other room!" She heard her father yell before slamming the door hard. She heard her mother yell from outside while he cursed inside the house. Jade kept crying, not believing that it finally had come to this. Not believing that her family had fallen apart. _

"So? Hugged enough?" Jade asked just as Tori snapped back into reality. She looked at Jade in disbelief. She had suspected that Jade's family wasn't the perfect one, but she never imagined that something like that had happened. It was so similar to what happened to Tori and yet it was different.

"Come on." Jade said as she unzipped the tent and got inside. Tori followed her a moment later, not believing what horrific thing she had just seen.

She looked down to see that there was only space next to Jade right now since Cat had taken up half the tent herself. Tori slowly lied down and pulled the blanket up to her chin. She saw Cat immediately shift. She rested her shoulder on Jade's and put her hand over Jade's stomach. Jade rolled her eyes while Tori looked on.

"I feel like one of her stuffed animal dolls whenever we have a sleepover." Jade mumbled.

"Good night." Tori said as she closed her eyes.

"Good night." Jade said. But Tori wasn't sure if she could sleep right now. Not after the last vision she had.


	13. An unexpected encounter

Indistinguishable noises slowly crept into Tori's thoughts as she slowly opened her eyes and remembered where she was. She wanted to get up and stretch, but then felt some pressure on both her back and around her waist. She looked at the hand that was thrown over her waist. The pink nails gave away the person. Tori smiled up as she slowly turned around to see Cat lying right there, cuddled up to her as if Tori was one of those dolls Cat still kept in her room. Tori chuckled at what she saw. Cat looked so peaceful in her sleep that it would make Tori jealous if it wasn't for the fact that the same girl always try to share that same happiness with everyone else. Tori imagined Cat dreaming of a place so beautiful that would make any portrayal of Eden pale in comparison. She imagined all those things the dream could be about. All shades of bright colors, be it animals or plants, who would play with her, laugh with her and talk to her. It was a childish notion, Tori knew that, but right now, next to everything going on in her life, she would welcome a dream like that. She would welcome a place she could escape to whenever the real world becomes too scary and too unforgiving.

Tori then realized that one person was missing, since Jade had been the only thing between her and the cuddle-loving redhead who took pink pajamas to a camping trip. She remembered the vision she saw last night. It was an experience she could relate to, and yet she couldn't really comprehend the whole severity of it. Sure, a lot of things were similar: the cheating mother, the family falling apart and the young daughter feeling a heart shattering amount of pain after the realization. However, Jade's memory was so much more honest and brutal than what happened to Tori. Both events might be similar and carry the same result, but Jade still had experienced it in the worst possible variation. While Tori had to deal with a mother who stopped caring at one point and put her own desire for sexual fulfillment before her own family, Tori's father still tried to fix what cannot be fixed. He tried to talk some sense into her, even while he was screaming and shouting out of anger. David Vega still hoped to restore a family out of all the shattered pieces, but Jade's father did the opposite. He threw her mother out. He took away from her the house, the family who saw her as a whore now and even her own daughter. While it did seem that Jade's mother cared for her, Tori knew better, and she was sure that Jade did too. Both Holly Vega and Ms. West knew what they were doing. They were aware of the risks they were taking and what the consequences could be, and yet they took them, gladly it seemed. Both did not think about their children or their families when they were doing it. While Tori's mother didn't seem sorry at all for doing it, Ms. West only seemed sorry for getting caught. Where there at first seems to be a difference, there is none. It still is the same sin carrying the same consequence not only for the sinner, but for the people that cared about them.

Tori shook her head in disbelief at the whole ordeal. While she knew that things like that happen every day with so many families, she never imagined that she would find an understanding soul within her small group of friends. She understood now how Jade knew what to say to her and what was going on in the half Latina's head. That might be the single reason why the Goth's behavior towards her has changed for the better. And the longer Tori kept thinking about that idea, the more plausible it became. What she didn't understand is why she immediately saw the whole memory. It wasn't a short memory like Mandy's, where it was a single moment. Usually the memories that were longer and contained any type of dialogue would be separated for a reason Tori did not know. But last night, she saw a whole memory on the first contact. Tori wasn't sure if her ability was changing in a way again or if Jade's mind and memories were so complicated and mixed up that the rules changed with her.

Tori wanted to let out a groan at the question. Somehow, no matter how much time and thoughts she invested in everything, she always ended up being uncertain about it. It was frustrating for many reasons, but the biggest one was that she had nowhere to go to and learn about it. She searched the web for many nights in hopes of finding something that resembled in any way to her situation, but all she found were sites of people who claimed to possess those abilities, but would only do it for money. Tori knew that those people were charlatans. She had read and heard so much of those things and how they always were exposed as frauds.

Tori carefully took Cat's hand. She took a deep breath, glad that her thoughts began calming down immediately. She closed her eyes and began concentrating. A moment later, she saw glimpses of something she could not identify that moment. She focused on those things more, and slowly she would get a clearer picture of what was going on. She saw Cat standing in a bubble that surrounded a small piece of earth. On that was a small river that circled around the land while the grass was not green, but golden and had a glow to it. The bubble seemed to be going through space, as around it were stars and nebulas. It was a mesmerizing sight. Cat was walking around in that bubble, wearing a white clothes that reflected the golden glow beautifully. Almost as beautifully as Jade's pale body reflected the glow of the campfire the night before.

Tori opened her eyes and smiled. She always wanted to know what was going on in her friends head, but this was way beyond her expectations. She slowly removed Cat's arm and sat up. She carefully moved the blanked off herself and stretched finally. She looked back at Cat, who now hugged Tori's blanket. Tori smiled at the cute view in front of her. Tori leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Cat's cheek, grateful for everything the redhead had done for her. She sat up again and unzipped the tent before stepping outside. The bright morning sunlight blinded her for a moment before her eyes adjusted. She looked at the camp and noticed that no one was there at the moment. She walked to the campfire and noticed that it was still on, although barely.

"Good morning." She heard Andre say as he stepped out of the woods, carrying as many thick branches as he could.

"Morning." Tori told him with a smile.

"Did you catch some sleep?" Andre asked her as he put the branches next to the campfire and began throwing pieces into the fire.

"I actually did. I don't remember when exactly I fell asleep though." Tori said.

"I think I heard you talk to someone last night, but I couldn't understand anything with Beck snoring the whole time." Andre said as he clapped his hands together a few times to clean off anything left.

"Jade and I talked. I couldn't fall asleep and I guess she couldn't either." Tori explained.

"Cool. You guys haven't fought for a few days now. I don't know if that's a good thing or if I should be worried." Andre said. Tori chuckled slightly, understanding how much of an anomaly that was in their group.

"You should mind your own business, Harris." They both turned around to see Jade walking towards them.

"Where have you been?" Tori asked as Jade stopped next to her.

"Searching for a cabin with portraits." Jade said with a smirk.

"Don't remind me of that story!" Andre said as he covered his ears.

"I've been trying to find some river or something to freshen up. I found a pond ten minutes away from here." Jade explained.

"What way?" Andre asked.

"That way." Jade said as she pointed towards the direction she had come from.

"Alright. I'm going to go grab some water." Andre said as he picked up the empty bottles they had left last night and then walked into the woods.

"How are you?" Tori heard Jade ask.

"I'm fine. I actually caught some sleep last night." Tori said.

"I know. You snore." Jade said.

"What? I don't!" Tori said in a defending tone.

"Oh yes, you do. You're worse than Beck." Jade said, holding back a smirk.

"I don't snore!" Tori repeated.

"Yeah, yeah, tell yourself that. On one side Cat is squeezing the life out of me every few minutes and on the other side you are delivering an opera. And that's why, in case you are wondering, I woke up that early." Jade said with a smirk as she sat down next to the fire. Tori pouted as she sat down next to her before crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm just kidding." Jade said as she nudged Tori with her shoulder.

"That wasn't funny."

"It was to me." Jade said.

"Can I ask you something? Something serious." Tori asked, her tone changing again.

"Shoot." Jade said.

"How come you know all those things that are going on in my head?" Tori asked as she turned her head to look at the Goth.

"Experience. My parents are divorced, and I know what went through my head then. Just like you, I was there to observe all the fighting that went on, including the grand finale." Jade explained.

"And how did you deal with it?" Tori asked.

"Time heals all wounds. I used to vent all my stored anger into writing. I would create characters and then torture them. Hell, I used to imagine that the people dying in horror movies were my parents and my mom's boy toy at that time." Jade said.

"Wow. That sounds brutal." Tori said.

"It is. But you have to deal with it someway or another."

"How long did it take you to get over it?" Tori asked a question she already knew the answer to. Still, Jade had been completely honest with her until now. Tori hoped that it would stay that way.

"It took me a while. But when I came to Hollywood Arts and got together with Beck, I got over it. During that time, Cat was my rock. That little ditz can be the best listener and calm you down in a heartbeat when necessary." Jade said. Tori frowned a little. Jade didn't tell her the truth. She still wasn't over the divorce. But that was something Tori wouldn't deal with now. Not while the conversation was going so good.

"I know. Cat's really knows how to cheer people up. I don't know what I would do without her." Tori said.

"That makes two of us." Jade said.

Suddenly, they heard a scream. They looked towards the tent where the guys were sleeping. Beck jumped out of the tent and Robbie walked out a moment later as he put his glasses on.

"Why were you screaming?" Tori asked as she looked at them.

"Beck put my arm around me in his sleep and when he woke up he gently decided to scream in my ear." Robbie said as he sat down.

"I-I didn't put my arm around you. I…" Beck began.

"A little desperate since the break up, are we?" Jade asked him in a mocking tone.

"N-no! It's not…" Beck tried to come up with something, but his brain decided not to cooperate.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone." Robbie said.

"I-I didn't put my hand…" Beck began.

"You didn't. I did." Andre said as he walked back, carrying the bottles filled with water before he put them down next to the tent.

"W-why?" Beck asked, holding his hands apart.

"Why not?" Andre asked with a large grin. "I'm gonna wake Cat up." He said as he walked towards her tent. He looked inside for a moment before getting his head out of the tent again. "Awww! That's the cutest view ever." He said as he looked at the others.

"Just wake her up already!" Beck said in an annoyed tone.

They stayed in the woods until afternoon, when they packed all their stuff and carried them back to the car. Beck was driving Jade and Robbie home while Cat and Tori drove with Andre. Half an hour later, Andre arrived at the Vega residence, but when he stopped, he noticed Tori stiffen up in the passenger seat.

"Is something wrong?" Andre asked, looking at her.

"T-that's my mom's car." Tori said as she began trembling in her seat. Andre's and Cat's eyes grew wide at Tori's words.

"Tori." Cat said, but before she or Andre could do anything, Tori opened the door and stormed out of the car. She ran towards her house, and opened the door she knew she had locked before leaving. Inside, she saw a few large bags on the living room floor. She then heard something upstairs and as she looked at the stairs, she saw her mother standing there while Gary walked behind her, carrying a few things. Both froze when they saw Tori standing there, staring at them in disbelief.

"Tori." Holly said as she walked downstairs towards her daughter. She opened her arms to hug her, but Tori stepped back.

"Don't you dare touch me!" Tori said.

"Tori…" Holly said, but Tori wouldn't play that game.

"What are you two doing here?" Tori asked, her voice filled with venom.

"Gary and I came to pick up the rest of my things. Your father knows that we are here." Holly explained.

"So after leaving without saying a word you come here unannounced just to grab your things?" Tori asked.

"Tori, please understand…" Holly tried, but to no avail.

"Understand what? That his dick is more important to you than your family? That you left us without saying a word to either Trina or me?" Tori yelled, not caring that she was

"Victoria, you can't talk to your mother like that." Gary said as he walked down next to Holly.

"Fuck you, Gary. Just fuck you. You and my dad know each other for so many years now, and you go and fuck his wife? Don't you dare fucking tell me anything about manners or morality!" Tori yelled at him.

"Tori!" Holly yelled, but Tori didn't care.

"No, you shut up! I can't believe that after everything you did you have the audacity to come back! You know what you've done? Do you even understand what you have done to your daughters? To dad? He is burying himself in work so he doesn't have to be at home. Trina is staying anywhere just so she doesn't have to be home. I have barely seen them or talked to them in weeks because of how much you! And me? I've tried to keep everything together. I've tried to be the reasonable, calm one in this but I failed miserably! I can't sleep, I barely eat and I've been depressed since you left. I even thought about taking dad's gun and just putting a fucking bullet through my skull! But you? You don't care at all, do you? You only care about yourself, you egotistical cunt!" Tori yelled before storming out of the house. She ignored her mother's calls for her, just like her mother did when she had walked out on them.

Andre and Cat saw Tori running out of the house. They both ran towards her and before she could even say anything, both Andre and Cat wrapped their arms around her. Tori collapsed right then, falling to her knees while her silent sobs went on.

"Tori!" They heard Holly yell from the door.

"Don't you come here!" Andre yelled at her, pointing with his finger towards her.

"She's my daughter!" Holly yelled as Gary managed to restrain her. "She needs me!"

"You've done enough for your daughters!" They all heard someone yell. They all turned to see David Vega as he walked towards his house. "Kids, get Tori out of here." He said as he looked at Andre and Cat. "This is too much for her."

"Yes, sir." Andre said as he picked Tori up and carried her to his car.

"And you!" David said as he pointed towards his ex-wife and former colleague," get her things and get out of my house. I don't want to see any of you again." He said before he walked into the house past them.

Cat opened the door as Andre put the sobbing Tori on the backseat. Cat sat next to her and hugged her crying friend to her while Andre sat down in the driver's seat and started the engine.

"She can stay at my place. My parents aren't home this weekend." Cat said.

"Good." Andre said. At least they wouldn't have to explain anything to anyone.

Ten minutes later they arrived in front of Cat's house. Cat unlocked the door while Andre helped Tori walk to the house. She finally had calmed down a bit.

"Please, I don't want to bother you." Tori began, but Cat didn't intend to let her finish.

"I don't want to hear any of that. You're staying here until you are ready to go back home." Cat said as Tori and Andre walked inside.

"Where are your parents?" Andre asked.

"They went to visit some relatives in San Francisco. My brother went with them." Cat explained.

"Good. That saves us some trouble of explaining." Andre said.

He brought Tori's and Cat's things from the car into the house and placed them in the living room.

"If you need anything, give me a call." Andre said.

"Don't worry. If anything happens, I'll call you." Cat said.

"Alright. I'll come by tomorrow to check how you are." Andre said as he looked at Tori.

"Okay. Thank you." Tori said before she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, not even wanting to imagine how she must feel.

"No need to thank me. Just let me know if I can help in any way." He said.

"I will."

"Okay. See you then." Andre said as he walked out of the house.

"Tori…"

"I'm going to take a shower and go to bed. I… just need some rest." Tori said. Cat only nodded in response.

Tori walked upstairs where the bathroom was. She knew where the towels were, so she took one out and hung it on the hook on the door. She threw the dirty clothes off of her and stepped into the shower. She felt the hot water land on her body, she finally let her guard down as she slid down the wall and hugged her knees to her chest before she began to cry again.

**A/N: Writing these chapters takes me longer than with any story before for many reasons. Also, finals are starting from next week so I can't promise any quick updates or anything. However, if I find some time and have the inspiration, of course I will update. And when summer break starts and I get some free time, I will update way faster. Hope you like the story so far. **


	14. Rock bottom

Tori sat up when she heard a loud noise. She looked at her surroundings for a few moments before she remembered where she was. She didn't remember that she fell asleep. It seemed to become a habit for her to pass out. But it was understandable. After all those nights her mind had kept her awake, her body would find some rest on its own, whether she liked it or not.

Tori threw the blanket off of herself and shifter her body to the side. Her legs were hanging off the edge of the large, comfortable bed. She looked down, noticing that she was wearing a pajama that was a bit too short for her. She figured that it must have been Cat's, since she didn't bring any with herself. She didn't have any of her stuff, now that she thought about it. She was way too upset and angry to think about those things.

Tori got off the bed and stepped on the soft carpet. She opened the door and walked out of the room, then headed downstairs. She walked past the large living room and entered the kitchen. Through the doorframe she saw Cat picking up broken pieces of glass from the floor. Cat picked up the last large piece before she threw them into the trashcan. She then noticed that her guest had woken up.

"Good morning." Tori said in a weak, raspy voice. Her throat was still sore after she had cried most of last night.

"Oh no. Did I wake you up? I'm sorry… I…"

"It's okay. I don't even remember getting out of the shower." Tori said as she sat down on one of the chairs.

"You didn't. When you didn't come out after two hours I tried to call you, but you didn't respond. You fell asleep in the shower." Cat explained.

"Oh…" was all Tori said about that. It made sense. Her body must have shut down on her after all that mental stress.

"You didn't bring any clothes so I lend you one of my pajamas." Cat said.

"Yeah, I noticed. Thank you. Clothes were the last thing on my mind last night." Tori said.

"Understandable. How are you?" Cat asked, sitting down on one of the chairs next to Tori.

"Broken. I don't know anymore what to do. I just don't know." Tori said as a big sigh escaped her. She covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath before dropping them again.

"Tori… It…"

"Just don't tell me that it will be alright, please." Tori said, knowing exactly what Cat wanted to say. "I don't know how it can be alright again." Tori said as she drew her hand through her hair.

"But it will. You're not alone, Tori. I'll help you, and I know that the others will too." Cat said. She took Tori's hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze. Tori felt calmer almost immediately.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." Tori said as she looked at the redhead. "Thank you for letting me stay here. I don't think that I could handle my own home right now." Tori said as she put her other arm around the smaller girl and pulled her in for a hug. Tori knew that she would be done had it not been for her friends, but she also knew that she would be done a long time ago had it not been for Cat. Without her, Tori would have crossed a line from which there is no return a long time ago, way before anyone would even have gotten the idea that something was wrong.

"You don't need to thank me. That's what friends are for." Cat said as she hugged Tori back. She felt Tori's hug tighten, a silent thank you from the half Latina.

"I don't know what I would do without you." Tori said as she pulled out of the hug.

"Don't think about that. How about we think about something we could do tonight so we can get your mind away from last night?" Cat suggested.

"Sure. Do you have any ideas?" Tori asked.

"No…" Cat said with a pout.

"We'll think of something then." Tori said.

"Kaykay!" Cat said as her smile returned. That moment, Tori's stomach growled. Tori looked down as she put her hand on it. "Someone's hungry."

"I haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning." Tori said.

"I'll go get something to eat then. There is a candy store two blocks away." Cat said as she got up.

"Candy for breakfast?" Tori asked with a puzzled look.

"What's your point?" Cat asked as she stopped and looked at her friend with a puzzled look.

"Nothing. Nothing. Just hurry up." Tori said with a smile.

"Kay." Cat said as she grabbed her purse and phone from the table. "I'll be back soon." Cat yelled before she opened the door and walked out of the house.

Tori walked to the living room and sat down on the large couch. She turned the TV on and began surfing through the channels. She stopped on a music channel, since nothing else was on except cartoons. She noticed Cat's laptop on the table. Tori opened it and went online. She quickly clicked on the shortcut to "The Slap". Cat's profile opened up, so she logged out and entered her own information. Her profile opened a few moments later. She immediately saw all the messages that filled her inbox. She opened them. Andre asked her if she was better while Robbie and Beck asked her what had happened the day before. She was a little bit disappointed to see that Jade had not sent her anything. _She probably doesn't know _Tori thought. She quickly answered the messages, telling Andre that she was fine and only telling Robbie and Beck that there had been some issues at her home last night. She would tell them the details later.

When she was done she logged out of her profile and leaned back on the couch. She let out a long sigh as she brought her hand up and massaged her temple with her fingers in hopes to reduce the stress. She then heard someone unlock the front door. Tori was surprised at how quickly Cat was back, even though she said that the candy store wasn't that far away.

"So? What did you b…" Tori said as she turned around, but the words got stuck in her throat when she saw Jade walk into the living room.

"Hey. Expecting someone else?" Jade asked when she noticed Tori's puzzled expression.

"I-I thought Cat was back." Tori said as Jade walked around the couch and then sat down. She placed her large bag on the table in front of her.

"Where did she go?"

"To get us something to eat." Tori said.

"Oh. That will last a while. She always ends up standing in front of the counter for ages." Jade said.

"Why?"

"She never knows what to pick. She once bought two cakes when I was staying here." Jade explained.

"Wait a minute. How did you open the door?" Tori asked.

"I have a key. Cat and I got spare keys to each other's places." Jade explained.

"Wow. I didn't know." Tori said.

"It saves time when you need to get away from your home and need a place. I used to go here almost every evening for a while." Jade said.

"Looks like I'm in that spot now." Tori said. Jade left out a sigh as she looked at Tori. She saw how weak Tori looked.

"I heard what happened. Your mother really is a giant cunt piece of shit. No offense." Jade said. A small chuckle escaped Tori.

"Tell me about it. When did you find out?" Tori asked.

"Last night. Cat told me about it." Jade said.

"I should have known." Tori said.

"Don't be mad at her. She and I tell each other everything, and she asked me for advice. I wanted to come over last night but she told me that you were already sleeping." Jade said.

"I'm not mad at her. I don't think I ever can be. I would be gone without her." Tori said.

"What do you mean, gone?" Jade asked.

"If it wasn't for her, I would have ended myself. I swear. For a while, I thought about taking my dad's gun and just…" Tori began, but a sharp sensation on her check shut her up. She brought her hand up and touched the warm, hurting spot on her cheek. She covered it with her hand and realized what just happened. Jade had slapped her. "Y-You slapped me." Tori said in a voice full of disbelief as she looked at the other girl. The contact was so short that Tori didn't even get a vision out of it.

"Don't you ever say something stupid like that again!" Jade said.

"I…"

"Don't you dare say anything like that ever again! Not in front of me, or anyone else, because that is the most retarded thing that ever left your mouth!" Jade yelled at her. Tori looked down, still holding her cheek. Her shoulders began trembling. Her hand moved from her cheek over her mouth. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She realized what she had said. She realized what thoughts she had allowed to creep into her head. She never thought that anything could have dragged her down to this level, but she was wrong. She had even said that to her own mother out of anger. She just told it to Jade as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She was truly broken. A loud sob escaped her as she tried to hold it back. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears which then slowly slid down her cheeks.

She then felt two arms wrap around her shoulder. Before she could even turn her head, she was embraced in a warm hug. Tori leaned her head on Jade's shoulder, needing the support both physically and mentally. Luckily for her, Jade was wearing a hoodie, and no vision would appear. She knew that she couldn't handle one right now.

"J-Jade… I" Tori barely said through her sobs. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to thank Jade for slapping some sense back into her. She wanted to say so many things to the Goth right now.

"I don't care how fucked up things get, I don't care what happens, I don't want you to ever again even think about something like that ever again. You are not a quitter, you were always too stubborn to give up on anything you set your mind to, no matter how dumb it was. So right now, set your mind to surviving and fighting those thoughts. Promise me that." Jade said in a warm voice.

"I'm… I'm-I'm sorry, Jade." Tori barely said.

"Promise me you won't give up."

"I-I…"

"Promise me."

"I promise." Tori said. She felt Jade let out a sigh out of relief.

"Good. Now you have to keep that promise. After all, that's what you always do." Jade said with a smirk.

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it. That's what friends are for." Jade said as she tightened her squeeze one more time around the other girl.

The door opened again, and Cat walked in happily humming some melody as she carried two full bags in her hands.

"Hi Jade." Cat said as she walked in. "Oh. Did I miss something?" Cat asked when she saw Jade hugging Tori.

"Just a heart to heart, that's all." Jade said as she felt Tori move away. She let go and Tori sat back up. She wiped the tears of her face and looked at Cat.

"Everything's fine. Jade just told me something I really needed to hear." Tori explained. Cat looked at her for a moment before a small smile appeared on the edge of her lips. She looked at Jade and nodded, seemingly to herself. She understood what happened. After all, she knew both girls better than they knew themselves.

"I've gotten us something to eat." Cat said as she brought up the bags. "Jade, stay for breakfast."

"Is that candy?" Jade asked.

"Of course. There is nothing better than a good, healthy breakfast." Cat said as she walked to the kitchen.

"I don't know why you think that that's healthy." Jade said as she got up and walked after her.

Tori smiled as she looked at her two friends. She got up and walked to the kitchen, glad to finally eat something and spend some time with them.


	15. Whiskey in the Jar

"Here, take this." Jade said as she got a plastic bag out of her larger one and threw it towards Tori who was sitting on the couch. It landed right next to her. Puzzled, Tori picked it up and took out what was in it. It was a pair of jeans, a black and a blue t-shirt.

"I don't…" Tori began as she looked at the other girl, but Jade decided not to wait for Tori to ask an obvious question.

"I figured that getting some clothes would be the least thing on your mind after everything. And since you and I are the same height, I brought you some of mine." Jade explained while a large smile appeared on Cat's face as she observed the interaction between her two friends.

"Thank you so much." Tori said as she looked up from the clothes at Jade.

"It's alright. I doubt people would want to watch you wear Cat's stuff. Although, you in tight clothes…" Jade said and then lowered her gaze and basically checked Tori out as she bit her bottom lip. Tori's face turned red almost immediately as she shifted her body and instinctively grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. A wide smirk appeared on Jade's lips as she couldn't contain her laughter anymore. "I'm kidding, Vega. Don't take everything so seriously." Jade said.

That was Tori's problem with Jade. She never knew which actions and words from the Goth to take seriously. She never knew if Jade was actually honest or not, since their friendship or whatever it was changed on a daily basis. Jade would always throw jabs that could mean multiple things at her and it drove Tori crazy. This especially hurt her now because in the last few days Jade's behavior was both consistent and honest, or at least Tori hoped that it was. She was never sure about anything related to the other girl, and after learning that Jade had things buried in her mind possibly nobody knew she was even less sure about anything. She didn't even understand why this compliment made her blush like it did. Was it what was said or was it because Jade said it? Tori didn't know.

"Don't tell me that you are upset now?" Tori heard Jade ask. She turned her head and saw Jade looking at her. She then realized that she must have spaced out, a bad habit she had caught on in recent weeks.

"I'm not. I'll be right back." Tori said and quickly got up and walked upstairs. When she reached the stairs, she heard Jade sigh, but she didn't stop or turn around. She went right into the bathroom and locked the door. She wasn't upset at Jade's words. Compared to everything Jade did tell her in all those years they knew one another, this was nothing. What Tori needed was privacy. She needed to be alone so that she could think. She needed to readjust her mind back to normal, because right now it was the biggest chaos imaginable. She sat down on the bathroom floor and leaned on the bathtub. She took a towel and folded it before she placed it under her neck and head and used it as a makeshift pillow. Once she became comfortable, she closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to go on freely, and yet, despite everything she could think about in her situation, her thoughts always landed back on Jade. It was a desire to know more about her; a desire to learn what life had done to her to mold and shape her the way she was now. It was a desire born from the wish to find a soul that she could relate to and who would understand her. Yet, she never imagined that it could end up being Jade. She couldn't believe that the person who could understand her the best was a person who was her polar opposite. Be it in style, preferences or simple attitude towards life, both girls couldn't be more different from one another.

"Tori, are you okay?" Tori heard Cat ask as she weakly knocked on the door.

"I'm fine." Tori responded halfheartedly.

"Are you sure? You've been in there for an hour and a half now." Cat said.

Tori sighed as she got up and turned the key to unlock the door. She sat back down as she heard the door slowly open. A moment later, she saw Cat carefully peek from behind the door.

"Can I come in?" Cat asked in a worried tone.

"It's your bathroom." Tori said in an attempt to make Cat laugh and possibly not ask any questions. When Cat didn't smile after that comment, Tori knew that she couldn't avoid this conversation.

"Jade didn't mean anything bad. Don't be upset." Cat said as she sat down next to Tori.

"I'm not upset." Tori said.

"Then why did you walk off like that?" Cat asked.

"I just needed some lone time. I didn't want to be the elephant in the room and just space out all the time." Tori explained.

"If you need to talk about anything…"

"I know, Cat. I know. But there are things none of you guys can help me with. It's something I can only do myself." Tori said. She saw Cat look down as a frown appeared on her face. Tori only knew too well how it felt to watch someone fall apart and be completely unable to do anything about that. It was the worst feeling in the world, and it seemed that everyone around her was feeling exactly that way. However, it wasn't only them who felt that way. Tori had the same feeling for them too after she had seen that they all had their own demons hidden.

"I wish I could help you." Cat said in a sad voice.

"You already helped me more than I could have ever expected anyone would. I'll be fine. I just need some time. That's all." Tori said.

"Okay. I understand. Will you come back downstairs? Jade thinks she upset you and feels bad." Cat said.

"She didn't. I'll talk to her, don't worry." Tori said as she got up.

Both girls walked downstairs and into the living room. However, Jade was nowhere to be found. Her bag was missing, too.

"Jade?" Cat called out, looking around the living room. Tori felt her chest tighten out of guilt. Did Jade leave now because of her? Tori never wanted that. She didn't want Jade to think that she was mad or anything. The opposite was the case. Tori wanted to spend more time with her. Tori wanted Jade to be around more often. She needed the other girl because she seemed to be the only one who really understood what was going on without Tori having to explain herself, something that is very painful as it makes her remember all those events that had turned her near perfect life upside down without a single warning.

"I'm outside!" They both heard the Goth yell. Cat walked into the kitchen and saw that the sliding door was open. Tori walked behind her, and felt as if a large boulder had been removed from her chest.

Both walked outside and saw Jade sitting on one of the long chairs that the Valentines had in their garden. On the small table was something that surprised the other two girls. There were three glasses and a large bottle of Old Canadian whiskey. Jade took the bottle and poured herself some into her glass before she took a little sip instead of downing it all at once.

"Why are you outside?" Cat asked.

"If I can enjoy a night sky in the woods I can also enjoy it in a garden. It's more comfortable." Jade said as she placed her glass back on the table. "Feel free to join me." She said as she motioned towards the glasses and the bottle.

"We're not 21." Tori said.

"It's wrong to do it no matter what age you are. And it does the same to you no matter if you are 18 or 21." Jade explained.

Tori wanted to say something, but was more than surprised when Cat sat down on one of those chairs herself and filled her glass before beginning to drink.

"Why not." Tori said more to herself than anyone as she sat down and filled her glass.

Two hours filled with comfortable silence later, half the bottle was gone. Tori emptied her glass and slowly reached for the bottle again. She almost knocked it down, but somehow managed to catch it again before it could hit anything. She leaned back down and looker to her right, where Cat was sleeping. She chuckled at the small redhead who went down after two glasses.

"First time you're drunk?" She heard Jade ask, breaking the silence.

"I would be lying if I said yes." Tori said.

"I thought so. When was the first time?" Jade asked.

"The first weekend after mom left. My dad used to send me to a store close to our house to get things before when we had guests over or something. The woman working there knows me and she thought that it was for my parents. I drank two bottles of wine that night and felt like crap in the morning." Tori explained. She looked to her left to see a small, amused smirk on Jade's lips. "When was yours?"

"I was fourteen. After all the bullshit at court between my parents I decided to raid my father's stash at home. I managed to get half a bottle of vodka down and woke up in my bathtub the next day. I had sat down in the bathtub, let the water flow over my head and threw up a dozen times before I fell asleep." Jade said.

"The divorce lasted so many years?" Tori asked, remembering that Jade looked way younger than fourteen in her vision.

"They had shared custody for a while, but my dad was persistent. He didn't want her to see me at all so he would just keep going from charge to charge in order to get sole custody for me. The shit I heard in those courtrooms…" Jade said as she shook her head.

"I'm glad I won't have to deal with that shit." Tori said.

"You should be. That place turns you into an object that everyone argues about. The things they've said to one another and all those accusations…"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Tori asked. She was aware of the risk of Jade blowing up on her again. She knew that it was a risk to ask, but she didn't know how many chances and those moments of honesty she would have again.

"You don't need to be my shrink next to all your crap." Jade said in a calm voice. There was no sign of anger in it.

"You were mine on more than one occasion." Tori said. Jade didn't respond immediately. She shook her glass and watched the ice swim around in the brown liquor, thinking about what to do. A few moments later, she downed the rest of her drink and lowered the glass back into her lap.

"It's funny how two parents who try to convince a judge to get the right to raise their child can result in the child hating both of them." Jade said.

"What do you mean?" Tori asked.

"All those arguments were nothing but moronic attempts for my parents to each fulfill their own agendas. My mother wanted to keep me because it meant that my dad would have to pay child support every month. Since he had a great job and made so much money, my mother would have gotten thousands of dollars every single month. She wanted custody over me for that reason. And my dad? He didn't want her to win. He wanted her to lose everything for what she had done, and in the end he succeeded. She got nothing because of the prenup she signed. He won. I was the trophy for him while the prize was my mother crying as the judge made his decision. That smile he had on his face that day is something I will never forget. He walked next to me and put his arm around me while my mother looked at us. He didn't even look at me, but only smiled her way. It was the last time I genuinely saw him smile. I can only imagine the satisfaction he must have felt that moment. And he walked away with me that day, a sign of his victory." Jade finished as she clenched her glass with both hands. Tori stayed silent, not knowing what to tell her friend.

"There you have it. That's how I got to live only with my dad." Jade said as she looked at the other girl. Tori looked back at Jade and saw that the other girl was crying. She was doing something Tori had not seen her do in years. She wasn't even trying to hide it. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this, Vega. It's an old wound that sometimes stings a bit. But I've dealt with worse shit than that. But that's a whole different story, and I don't want to talk about that."

"I'm glad you did. I'm glad that you trust me enough." Tori said.

"I always trusted you, Vega. Why else would I have asked for your help on so many occasions?" Jade asked.

"I don't know. You don't always make it look as if you do." Tori said. She heard Jade sigh and watched Jade pick up the bottle and fill her glass again before downing it in one shot.

"I give you a hard time, I know. But I can swear to you that I haven't said or done anything to you because I hate you or whatever idea you might have."

"It's not only me. You also go after Robbie way too much." Tori said.

"Same thing as with you." Jade said.

"I don't understand what you mean?"

"I've known Robbie for fifteen years now. Since preschool. I give him a bad time because I hope that one day he will snap back at me and say something back. I do this because I want to provoke him to stand up for himself. He is the most talented guy I've ever met and does so many amazing things he keeps to himself. His music, animations, writing… He is so naturally gifted in so many things and instead of focusing on that and drawing confidence from his talents, he acts like an idiot most of the time. He always tries to be something he isn't and I hate that!" Jade explained.

Tori was left speechless. She had no idea that Jade knew Robbie that well. She had no idea that Jade even cared for him at all.

"And you? Why did I give you all that crap? Because you were finally someone who was ready, willing and able to go toe to toe with me on anything I did. I found in you a good competition I needed to grow as an artist. And I wasn't the only one who grew. I saw you get better every time I somehow managed to outdo you. I saw you work harder and improve every day, which in result made me work harder. And then, one day with no warning, you come to school and are not yourself anymore. Your smiles were fake; your attention was everywhere but on school and you began avoiding us. We all were trying to figure out what was going on, but no one had even the slightest idea. You weren't our Tori anymore." Jade said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys." Tori said, but Jade shook her head.

"I understand why you didn't. The last thing you needed was a group of people who would try to fix something you thought they had no idea of." Jade said.

"I was wrong, especially about you." Tori said.

"And I was wrong for saying what I said earlier today." Jade said. "I did it because I hoped I would see a glimpse of the old you again. I wanted to hear you say something back to me. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I wasn't upset. I just needed some time for myself. Had to get my own mind back under control."

"I understand." Jade said.

Comfortable silence filled the air again, giving both girls some time to absorb everything the other had said. Tori emptied the bottle into her glass and drank it before she put her glass back on the table.

"I'm happy we can talk like this." Tori said.

"Me too."

Tori got up and noticed that her legs weren't as stable as they used to be. She picked up her glass, Cat's glass and the empty bottle.

"I'm turning in. I'm sure I'll feel like crap in the morning." Tori said.

"You will. Whiskey is a bitch in the morning." Jade said. Tori placed the empty glasses and bottle on the kitchen table and walked out again. She saw that Jade was still sitting in her chair, looking at the sky. Tori smiled as she walked over to Cat's chair and gently woke the other girl up.

"Huh? What time is it?" Cat asked as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's three in the morning. Go get into bed, I'll be upstairs soon." Tori said. Cat only nodded. She got up and walked into the house. She made her way inside, but then heard something.

"Vega, wait." She heard Jade call.

"Yes?" Tori said as Jade got up and walked towards her.

"Thank you for listening to me." Jade said as she hugged Tori around the waist. Tori was shocked to see Jade of all people go and hug someone, especially her, but after everything that had happened today, it made sense.

"Thank you for telling me all those things." Tori said as she hugged Jade back. A few moments later, both girls pulled apart.

"Good night." Jade said as she walked inside. Tori smiled a wide smile. She walked into the kitchen and closed the slide door before locking it. She saw Jade lie down on the couch and a moment later, she heard a slight snore escape the Goth's sleeping body. Tori chuckled lightly as she walked upstairs, almost tripping a few times and walked into Cat's room. Cat was already asleep herself. Tori lied down on the bed next to her relaxed. She felt an arm wrap around her waist, which was typical for Cat. Tori closed her eyes and fell asleep a moment later.


	16. Blue flames

A small groan escaped Tori as she woke up. She opened her eyes for a second before she shut them again in order to subdue her headache. She covered her eyes with her hand and hissed at the constant pressure that stayed in her head. She didn't know how, but she remembered everything that had transpired last night, and she also remembered that she and Jade downed a bottle of whiskey together. Tori removed her hand from her eyes and opened them again. She looked to her left where Cat was still sleeping peacefully, somehow not clinging to Tori this time. Tori sat up, and immediately regretted it. She felt as if her eyes were about to pop out of her head. She pushed the covers off of herself and stood up before she walked out of Cat's room and into the bathroom. She locked the door behind herself as she walked to the sink and let cold water run. She splashed the cool water on her face a few times before she looked at her image in the mirror.

"Mother of god." Tori uttered with a frown when she saw what she looked like. She was pale, had large rings under her eyes and her hair was a mess. She also seemingly forgot to take the little makeup she had on off before she went to sleep, so now she also had her eyeliner run down her cheek. She washed it all off before she dried her face with a towel and unlocked the door. She walked downstairs and right into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and found a bottle of water. She downed the whole bottle in mere moments and let a loud, satisfied "ahhh" out once she was done. She immediately felt better. She put the bottle on the table and turned around. She looked towards the living room, but to her surprise and disappointment, Jade was already gone. She let out a sad sigh as she walked into the living room. She had hoped that Jade would stay a little bit longer.

Tori enjoyed the new dynamic between them. Jade's new honesty with her meant a lot to Tori, especially during these times. Despite always someone being with her, she felt alone most of those times. The others always try hard to help her in any way possible, but they can't, because they have never been where Tori is now. But Jade is different. Tori feels safe when the other girl is around because Jade does understand what Tori is going through. Unlike the others, Jade does know what is going on in Tori's head and what she needs to say to her in order to calm her down. That is what Tori needed; what she wanted the most right now. But for whatever reason, she is always left without it. Life refuses to give her a break. It only seems to give her small glimmers of hope, before it sucker punches her and drags her back down into the devil's circle she has been stuck in for so long now.

Tori sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. She watched some of the morning cartoons, hoping that the comedy would at least cheer her up a tiny bit. But it didn't. She watched everything that happened on the screen with apathy. She turned the TV off a few moments later. She brought her leg up on the couch and leaned her head on her knee she had drawn to her chest.

"Tori, are you okay?" She heard Cat ask as the redhead walked downstairs.

"I'm fine; a bit hung-over from last night, but still fine." Tori said.

"Jade already left?" Cat asked, noticing that her best friend was missing.

"Yeah. She was already gone when I came down here." Tori said. Cat walked into the kitchen, and walked back a moment later with a bottle of fanta before she sat down on the couch next to Tori.

"You two finished the bottle?" Cat asked, although she already knew the answer.

"Yeah. We talked for hours. She told me about her parents fighting over custody in court." Tori said as she shook her head. "I had no idea that she went through so much crap in her life."

"She doesn't like to talk about those things to anyone really." Cat said.

"But you knew about it."

"Of course. She did talk about them while they were happening. She used to come here almost every night for a while. She always said that she hated her parents for this, but I don't think she does." Cat said.

"What do you mean?"

"She just wants her family back. All of them united, as they used to be. They used to be a happy family. She would always do things with her father over the weekends and her and my family would often do things together since she and I were so close even then. And suddenly, without a warning, one day Mr. West found his wife with another man. One day, and everything fell apart." Cat said.

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it?" Tori asked with a small smile. She almost laughed at the irony.

"I know… But if anything, Jade proves that something like that isn't the end of the world." Cat said.

"You're right. It's not. Life goes on. I only wish that that fact would get through this thick skull of mine." Tori said.

"Give yourself more time Tori, and let us help you when we can. I already watched one best friend do a lot of crap as she tried to deal with that by herself. Please, don't make me watch another one do the same mistakes." Cat said. Tori turned her head to look at the redhead. She would have never believed that Cat of all people possessed both so much wisdom and experience about the hardships of life. Despite witnessing many herself, she also watched so many people she loved go through greater and lesser hardships right in front of her eyes. And yet she never allowed it to break her; to change who she was. She always stayed positive, cheerful and happy because she understood that anything else was useless and only did more harm. And not only did she understand that, she was also the only one who had enough strength to continue living like that and share all of it with anyone in need. She was truly the spine of the group, holding together so many individuals who would have fallen apart had it not been for Cat. And yet, despite all that, she never asked for anything back.

Tori leaned towards Cat and hugged her, not because she needed the contact, not because she wanted to calm herself down. She did so because she appreciated everything Cat had done for her.

"Thank you for letting me stay here and keeping an eye on me." Tori said.

"Tori, you don't have to thank me." Cat said.

"I know, but I want to. I know its hell with me right now, and yet you kept me around. You are my best friend and I love you, you know that?" Tori said as she tightened her grip around the other girl. She heard Cat giggle, which only made Tori smile even more. She felt Cat hug her back.

"I love you too." Cat said.

"I'll go home today. Time to take the bull by the horns." Tori said as she pulled away from the hug.

"You can stay if you want to. Mom and dad will understand." Cat offered, but Tori only shook her head no.

"Thanks, but I want to stop running away from my problems. I'll be fine." Tori said.

An hour later Tori had grabbed all her things and gotten home. She stood in front of her door and took a deep breath in. She opened the door and knew that somebody had to be home. She walked inside and saw Trina sitting on the couch and eating something as she watched TV.

"Hey." Tori said as she took of her shoes and put her bag down. Trina turned her head to see her younger sister standing there.

"Tori." Trina said as she put her plate down on the table and got up. She walked towards her sister and wrapped both arms around her. Tori felt that a vision was about to start, but fought against it. She didn't want to deal with it right now. Not while she was mentally drained. She didn't know how she did it, but she stopped the vision from appearing. A small smile formed on the edge of her lips. She was finally getting some control back over her life. She hugged her sister back, glad that she could again enjoy a hug without a vision appearing immediately.

"I heard what happened. God, I can't believe mom could do that. How are you?" Trina said as she pulled away, but still kept her arms around Tori.

"I'm fine. Spent the weekend at Cat's place. I'm glad we didn't have school today. I don't think I could have handled it." Tori said. The school board meeting could not have happened at a better time.

"At least some luck recently." Trina said.

"How are you?" Tori asked. She didn't want to have to find out through a vision. She wanted people to be honest to her, like she thought they were before she got the new ability. If Jade was willing, ready and able to tell her the truth and how she felt, why couldn't the others?

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Trina said with a small smile. Tori knew that it wasn't the truth. She was disappointed, but she understood. Trina was in the same situation as she was, and Tori had clammed up for weeks before she finally told someone. She couldn't blame Trina for doing the same, despite the obvious fact that she wasn't telling the truth.

"I'm glad to hear that." Tori said. She wouldn't try to push the truth now. She was too tired, both physically and mentally, to do so. "If you need me, I'll be upstairs." Tori said. She walked upstairs into her room. She closed the door behind her and changed into her own clothes immediately. She put the clothes Jade had given her on a chair and laid down into her bed. She took her phone and let some music play as she closed her eyes. She wondered how she managed to stop the vision form appearing this time. She knew that it was coming, she felt it, and yet, for the first time, she managed to stop it. That means that she could control it. She then remembered. No vision appeared when Andre hugged her after she had stormed out of the house. No vision appeared when Jade slapped her. She hadn't even realized that until now. The visions can be controlled, and she would learn to do so.

There was a knock on the door, and Tori snapped out of her thoughts. She looked towards the door, wondering if it was Trina again.

"Come in." Tori said. The door opened, and to her surprise, Beck walked into her room, carrying a full plastic bag.

"Hi there." Beck said as he closed the door behind him.

"Hey. I didn't expect anyone. Sorry." Tori said as she sat up.

"I wanted to check how you are, so I drove by. I was at Cat's place first, but she told me that you had left." Beck explained as he sat down on a chair.

"I'm okay. I just didn't expect my mother to do what she did on Saturday." Tori said.

"Who would? With all due respect, but your mother…"

"Is a cunt. I know. We all agree on that." Tori said. Beck chuckled at her words, glad that she took it all with some humor.

"Well, I brought you something." Beck said as he picked up the plastic bag he had brought with him. "In my lifetime I learned two things: you need to bring something when you visit someone, and whenever girls feel bad, chocolate makes them feel better." Beck said as he threw the bag on the bed and packs of chocolate fell out.

"Beck… you didn't have to." Tori said as she looked at the gift.

"If it helps, then why not? And I've yet to see a moment where chocolate can't make anyone feel better." Beck said.

"Thank you. I really appreciate you trying to cheer me up." Tori said. "I'm okay. I've decided to face my problems instead of drowning in sorrow and feel sorry for myself."

"That's a good attitude to have. However, don't go off again acting all fine when you are not. If there is anything I can do…"

"I'll let you know. Don't worry. I won't make the same mistake again." Tori said.

"Good. I'll take your word for that." Beck said.

"How are you? Is there anything troubling you?" Tori asked.

"Nope. I'm fine, as always. My only concern right now is you." Beck said.

"You don't need to worry about me. You know me. I don't give up so easily." Tori said.

"I'm glad to hear that. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow at school." Beck said.

"I'll walk you downstairs." Tori said as she got up. Both made their way downstairs. Beck opened the door and both walked out of the house.

"Thank you for visiting me." Tori said.

"No problem. Take care." Beck said. Tori's curiosity got the better of her. She hugged Beck goodbye and touched his arm as she did so. She felt the vision coming, and this time, let it come.

_Beck was sitting at a table in a white room, talking to someone in a hospital gown. The woman's face looked strange; her gaze was glassy and distant. She didn't seem to react or notice to anything he had said. Beck sighed and patted the woman on the hand before getting up._

_He walked out of the room. One of the doctors was there. As he was writing something down on his board, he saw Beck standing there._

_"Anything new?" Beck asked the doctor, who only sadly shook his head._

_"No changes since last time, Beck." He said. Beck let out a sigh, drawing his hand through his hair._

_"Beck, we are doing all we can. But I don't think that she will recover." The doctor said._

"_Are you sure?" Beck asked in a desperate voice._

"_I'm sorry, but the damage done on her brain is too severe." The doctor said. Beck sighed as she drew his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Beck. I know you want your mother to recover, but there is only so much we can do." _

"_I understand." Beck said, regaining his stoic expression. _

_He walked out of the hospital and got into his car. He let out a long sigh before he began punching the steering wheel in rage._

Tori snapped out of her vision after that. She looked at Beck in shock as he said goodbye again and walked to his car. Tori, without a word, waved goodbye, but couldn't move. She stood there, frozen in disbelief. That woman was Beck's mother? How could that be? She met Beck's parents many times. She talked to them, and his mother looked completely different. She walked back into her house and her room. She didn't know what to make of this. Nothing made sense. Could she be wrong? Could her vision have shown her something wrong?

Tori tried to make sense of it for hours, but to no avail. If that woman was in fact Beck's mother, what happened to her? Was she sick? Did his father remarry? She didn't understand.

She opened her laptop, hoping to distract herself from everything. She needed to find out more, and there was no other way but asking Beck himself. She opened her TheSlap profile and saw that she had a message. It was from Robbie. She opened it and saw a link attached to it. Under it, it read: _After I heard what happened, I decided to try and cheer you up. I worked two nights on this. Hope you like it._

Tori clicked on the link and a video began downloading. A minute later, it was done. She clicked on the video, and it started immediately later.

In the video was someone who resembled Tori standing on a wide grassland with a beautiful, purple nightsky. She guessed that it was her. She had to compliment Robbie. Animated Tori really did look like her. Then, to her surprise, a ring of fire appeared and surrounded the ground around her. The flames circulated in a beautiful animation, but as they spun, they came closer to Tori and scorched the grass and ground under it. The flames reached her after a few moments, devouring her while she only sat down and allowed it to happen. Tori didn't understand what was going on, and why Robbie sent her a video where she was scorched by fire. However, she saw that the video wasn't done, and a few seconds later, she saw the color of the flames change. The bright red flames slowly turned into dark blue ones, and from the blue flame emerged Animated Tori, blue flames burning around her and on her, but they didn't damage her. As she walked, the charcoal black land that was burned by the fire got rejuvenated by the blue flames around Tori. She had a smile on her face, a smile that showed satisfaction. Then, a slow, yet rather calming melody started playing, and Animated Tori looked up into the sky as the video ended, the smile never fading from her face.

Tori closed the video and leaned back in her chair. Robbie surprised her again and again, and only with positive things recently. She understood what he wanted to say. She understood what the flames meant. The red flames were all the negative things happening right now, devouring her. It destroyed everything in its path, and she was the last goal of it. The blue flames represented harmony; peace; serenity. They represented rejuvenation. They healed all the damage the red flames had done on her and on everything around her. The video was Robbie's own way to tell her not to give up, no matter how bad things seemed, and that everything, every wound, no matter how bad, can heal. Tori smiled as she shook her head again in disbelief, but in good one. She really had some great people that cared for her. She would retake control of her life. She would ignite the healing flames and not only heal herself, but also heal her friend's wounds, just as they are trying to help her.


	17. Anger

Tori walked into school after a long, sleepless night. She was tired, but didn't care. She was already used to that. She didn't spend the whole night doing nothing. She thought about everything she had found out in the last few days, from what Jade told her to what she had seen about Beck. The last one was the biggest mystery for her. She did not understand what she had seen and despite thinking about it for hours and trying to come up with plausible explanations, she could not come up with any. She would have to ask him, and she decided to do so after school.

The other thing that kept her up was the Goth about who she had learned so much in only a few days. The more she found out about her, the more she wanted to know. Jade, a friend who she thought she had figured out a few days after she had met her for the first time; who she had categorized as a mean, jealous, angry girl with issues for so many years suddenly turned out to be none of that. All she thought she knew about Jade went out of the window when she finally had the chance to talk to her more. Instead of that, Jade turned out to be not only a kind and caring friend to so many who only wants to see the best out of everyone she cares about, but a soul she can relate to as both had been through similar troubles. Those things still seemed to bother Jade, despite what she said or how she acted. In the end, Tori hoped to not only help Jade get over it, but also find a way to deal with her own problems through that. It was ironic. A broken soul tried to fix another one.

She walked to her locker and smiled when she saw Robbie standing in front of his locker, reading a book as he leaned on his locker with his back. Tori opened her locker, took her books out and closed it quickly before she walked towards him. He seemed completely immersed in whatever he was reading, so he didn't even notice her as she stood next to him.

"What are you reading?" She asked him. He turned his head towards her when he heard her.

"Hey. Andre lend me his copy of "To Kill a Mockingbird". I can't take my eyes off of it." Robbie said as she put a piece of paper between the pages where he was and closed the book.

"You did take a break to make that animation for me." Tori said.

"Well, I heard what happened and I knew I needed to do something to cheer you up." Robbie said.

"You could have visited me. You didn't need to waste two days and nights for the animation." Tori said.  
"You didn't like it?" Robbie asked, a saddened look appearing on his face.

"Robbie, I loved it. Why wouldn't I like it?"

"I don't know. You just said that I shouldn't have wasted time doing it." Robbie said.

"I didn't mean it that way and you know it. Robbie, I loved that animation. I loved the symbolism and I love the way you did it. You really cheered me up with it." Tori explained.

"I'm glad to hear that. I have to go. I'll see you later." Robbie said.

"Wait." Tori said with a small sigh. Robbie stopped and turned around. He looked at her, waiting for her to say whatever she wanted to say to him. Tori shook her head and stepped forward before she hugged him around the neck. "I hope you know how much you mean to me. Thank you for cheering me up yesterday." Tori said before she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. She surprised the vision that was coming. She didn't want to see it yet. She didn't want it to possibly throw her off now. She wanted to first find out what was going on with Beck and the vision about him. Tori pulled out of the hug and saw a small, genuine smile appear on Robbie's face.

"Thank you, Tori." Robbie said.

"No, I have to thank you. Now go, you'll be late." Tori told him with a smile. Robbie nodded as he turned around and left. Tori shook her head in disbelief. She hated to see him like that. She hated to see him put himself down, be it silently in his own thoughts or through that damn puppet he used to carry for years. She didn't know why he did that, but she would find out as soon as possible. As much as she wanted to deal with it immediately, she also knew that trying too much at the same time would only screw things up more than it would help, and right now, it was Beck and his memory that wouldn't leave her mind at peace.

Biology was never something that really interested her. She was glad that the teacher was old and didn't really care if anyone listened or not as long as they wouldn't talk loudly or interrupt her. Tori sat there, looking through the window and thinking about how she should tell Beck what she knew, or more precisely, ask him about the part she didn't understand. She took her phone out of the pocket and decided to text him. She wanted to talk to him alone, and make sure that no one would interrupt them at the worst time.

_Can I come to ur place 2nite? Need to talk to u… _Tori typed on her phone and pressed send. A minute later, she got an answer.

_Sure. What about? _Beck answered. She quickly wrote back.

_I need 2 ask u something. _Tori answered. A few moments later, her phone vibrated again.

_KK. Cya 2nite. _Beck answered. Tori put her phone back in her pocket and leaned back in her chair. The class would be over in five minutes anyway, so there was no point now in trying to pay attention to the teacher.

The bell rang and everyone got out of the classroom as soon as they could. Tori walked out and made her way towards her locker. She wasn't even sure why she took her biology books with her when she knew that she wasn't going to pay attention anyway. She placed them back in her locker and closed it when she saw Jade walking out of her classroom. Tori smiled at first when she saw the other girl, but her smile faded when she saw Jade's expression. Jade's face read anger, and she was not trying to hide it in any way. Tori thought about it for a few seconds before she made her decision. She made her way towards the Goth while Jade was throwing things into her with scissors decorated locker. Tori saw Jade slam her locker shut before her eyes met Tori's. Tori slowly regretted her idea to try to talk to Jade right now, knowing that one single wrong word could cause Jade to explode.

"Hi." Tori said as she stopped in front of the other girl.

"Hi." Jade said in an emotionless, cold voice.

"You left early yesterday." Tori said.

"Yeah. I had to go home early." Jade said.

"Did something happen?" Tori asked, but when she saw Jade's face stiffen at the question, she immediately regretted asking it.

"Nothing that would interest you." Jade said. Tori nodded once, knowing that she should back off while she could.

"Fair enough. Want to join me for lunch?" Tori asked. Jade only shook her head.

"No. I don't feel like having anyone around me at the moment." Jade explained.

"I won't ask you anything, I promise." Tori said, hoping to change the Goth's mind.

"It's not that. It's that I might say something I would regret later." Jade said.

"Fair enough." Tori said, forcing a smile on her face. Jade walked past her and left without saying anything else. Tori let out a long sigh a few moments later as she drew her hand through her hair. She didn't know what to do with Jade anymore. It seemed as if she took one step forward with her and the next day she took two back. She wanted to know what was going on. She wanted to know what had happened to turn Jade's mood back into its usual, angry, introvert self. But she also hope that Jade would tell her herself when she was ready. Jade had been honest with her recently, and she hoped that it would continue that way.

The rest of the day passed quickly while Tori's mind didn't stop thinking about Jade and her behavior today. It wasn't that that behavior was anything unusual for the Goth. As a matter of fact, what she witnessed today was Jade's standard mood. But after she had seen a different side of the Goth, one she knew was only reserved for people she allowed to see it, Tori couldn't stop but wonder what it was that sent her back to her usual behavior.

She walked out of school and got into her car, turned the engine on and reversed out of the parking lot. Although her mind was a mess at right now, she still wanted to talk to Beck. She couldn't handle not knowing both right now, and she hoped that at least one of them would make sense today. A few minutes later, she was at his place. She parked into the driveway and got out of the car. She saw that the lights in his RV were on. She knocked on the door and stepped back as she heard something from inside. A few seconds later, the RV door opened and Beck stepped outside.

"Hey." He said as he motioned for her to come inside.

"Hey. Did I interrupt you with something?" She asked as she looked inside and saw pieces of paper lying on the ground, either ripped to pieces or scrunched.

"I'm trying to write a script and am stuck on a chapter. I can't figure out how to lead into an important even in the story." Beck explained. "Want something to drink?" He asked.

"No, thank you. What are you writing about? Maybe I can help." Tori suggested.

"Well, it's a novel about a four guys in the mob who make it big. However, one of them makes a mistake and things go crazy from then on. I planned from the beginning to kill a certain number of them and now, after writing almost all of it, I can't decide whether to do it or not." Beck explained.

"That sounds interesting." Tori said. "Why do you have trouble now if you planned it from the beginning?"

"Let's just say I grew a lot more attached to those characters than I originally planned to. Now, whenever I write the chapter where the character dies, I just can't do it and try again. If I let the character live, the story loses a lot of its soul." Beck said with a sigh as he looked at the sheet of paper he had just written on. She crunched it together with both hands before he threw it towards his paper bin, missing it barely.

"So you fell in love with a character you created?" Tori asked.

"Well, you could say it like that. I didn't plan it, but now, after I have written it, it's almost as if it's only fair to be a happy ending. But that's not how life works. Ugh, I just can't make a decision." Beck said.

"It's your story. Do what you want." Tori said.

"That's the problem. I don't know what I want to do." Beck said.

"Well, I think you should stick to the original plan." Tori said.

"You think I should?" Beck asked.

"If you care so much about the character, then the readers will have to care too." Tori said.

"I guess you are right. But that doesn't make it easier." Beck said.

"Good. That means that it's only going to be more effective. Remember what we learned in our writing classes. If the author isn't crying…"

"Neither will the reader. You are right. Thanks. Finally I can finish this." Beck said.

"Why are you writing it by hand?" Tori asked.

"It's just a tradition of mine. I write it first on paper, and when I'm satisfied, I write it on my pc and polish the details while I do so." Beck explained.

"It's a messy tradition." Tori said as she looked on the ground. Beck chuckled at her words.

"It is. But it helps a lot. Now, what did you want to talk to me about?" Beck asked. Tori grew nervous instantly. She didn't know how to start that conversation. After all, it wasn't something that she does often.

"I don't know how to say this…" Tori began.

"Did something happen?" Beck jumped in, looking at her with a concerned expression.

"No… yes… ugh…"

"Tori, just tell me what happened?" Beck pleaded.

"Are… your parents okay?" Tori asked. Beck raised his eyebrows out of surprise.

"Yeah, they are fine. Both are in the house. You want to go and ask them?" Beck said with a laugh as he pointed towards the house with his thumb. Tori grew less secure in her vision. It didn't make sense; however, it had yet to happen that a vision ended up being wrong.

"I… just don't understand…" Tori said as she sighed.

"What don't you understand? Tori, you are acting weird." Beck said as he got up and sat down next to Tori on the bed.

"I… I don't know." Tori said. Beck put his hand on hers, hoping to calm his friend down. Tori felt a vision coming. Suddenly, she felt hopeful again. Maybe this would make things clearer.

_Beck was sitting at a table in a white room, talking to someone in a hospital gown. The woman's face looked strange; her gaze was glassy and distant. She didn't seem to react or notice to anything he had said. Beck sighed and patted the woman on the hand before getting up._

_He walked out of the room. One of the doctors was there. As he was writing something down on his board, he saw Beck standing there._

_"Anything new?" Beck asked the doctor, who only sadly shook his head._

_"No changes since last time, Beck." He said. Beck let out a sigh, drawing his hand through his hair._

_"Beck, we are doing all we can. But I don't think that she will recover." The doctor said._

_"Are you sure?" Beck asked in a desperate voice._

_"I'm sorry, but the damage done on her brain is too severe." The doctor said. Beck sighed as she drew his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry Beck. I know you want your mother to recover, but there is only so much we can do."_

_"I understand." Beck said, regaining his stoic expression._

_He walked out of the hospital and got into his car. He let out a long sigh before he began punching the steering wheel in rage. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve before he turned the engine on and drove off. _

_He parked in front of a large, wooden house. He walked inside where his parents were waiting. _

"_What did the doctor say?" The woman asked. _

"_Nothing new." Beck answered in a cold, neutral voice. _

"_I'm sorry, Beck." The man said._

The vision ended there, and nothing made sense anymore. However, the snow, the hut and the cold weather were more than enough for her to assume that it happened in Canada. After all, Beck was born there and went there regularly.

"Tori? Tori!" Beck said, snapping Tori out of her thoughts.

"You are going to Canada often, aren't you?" Tori asked. Beck looked at her, confused by the question.

"Yeah, I do. Every month or two." He answered.

"Why?" Tori asked him.

"I'm visiting a few relatives up there. Why?" Beck asked. Tori took a deep breath in.

"Are you visiting someone in a hospital there?" Tori asked. Beck's face read shock for a mere second before his usual stoic, unreadable expression returned. However, Tori saw the change. She had hit a nerve. The vision must be true.

"Why are you asking me that?" Beck asked.

"Because… I know that you are visiting a woman at the hospital." Tori said. Beck got up, pacing around as he drew his hand through his hair. "Beck, who is that woman?" Tori asked.

"I don't… I don't know what you are talking about." Beck stuttered. There was no going back now, and Tori knew that.

"Beck, who is she?" Tori asked as she got up and walked to him, but he walked away from her.

"Nobody." Beck said, breathing heavily as he paced around.

"Beck… is she your mother?" Tori asked.

"Shut up." Beck said as he covered his face with his hands.

"Beck…" Tori said, but he suddenly turned towards her.

"Shut up." He said, more angry this time.

"Beck… tell me." Tori pleaded, but things suddenly got out of hand.

"How do you know?" Beck asked, as he looked at her, seething with anger.

"Nobody told me. I…" She said, but he grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly.

"Who told you?" He screamed at her, squeezing her arm even more, making her wince in pain.

"Beck, you're hurting me." Tori said in a fragile voice. She had never seen him this angry. She had never seen such a reaction from him. Then, she felt him push her towards the wall. She crashed on the wall with her back, and before she even realized, her breath was stuck in her lungs.

"Who told you!" He screamed at her as he grabbed her throat with both hands. She tried to tell him to stop; to calm down; to let her go, but nothing could come out of her mouth. He was choking her. She tried to get his hands away from his throat; to get him back to his senses, but he was gone. Everything in front of her became blurry while her body was fighting to get some air back into her lungs. She began to panic, and when she had thought that this was the end of her, her lungs filled with air as she slid down the wall to the ground. She coughed before she began breathing heavily. She put her hand on her throat, trying to soothe the pain. Her vision cleared, and as she looked up, she saw him, standing in front of her, leaning the opposite wall of his RV as he looked at her, then at his hands, then back at her. His face was far from its stoic, usual self, but it wasn't angry anymore. It was shock.

"Tori… I…" Beck began, as he watched her cough again, as she tried to regulate her breathing. "Tori… I…" he tried again, but to no avail. Tori saw the shock in his face, the realization of what he had just done. He tried to speak, but he was in a loss of words, just as she was. She tried to say something, but she could not. Beck grabbed his jacket and ran out of the RV. Tori tried to call after him, but her throat hurt her too much. A minute later she finally was able to get up. She walked to the door and looked outside, hoping to see him somewhere, but he was nowhere to be found. He wasn't in his house, she knew that. She grabbed her phone. Her hands were still shaking, but she managed to find his number. She pressed the call button, but only heard his phone ring in the RV. She turned her head to see it ringing beside two books on the table. She ended the call and swallowed painfully, trying to comprehend what just had happened. She got out of his RV and into her car.


	18. Confrontation

A dozen of people were pacing around the Blackbox theatre, moving props and setting up the stage for the play that would be shown that Friday. Sikowitz was over viewing his students and making sure everything was going as planned. While everyone was working with full energy, Tori was sitting in the last row, not caring one bit about what was going on in front of her. She had searched for Beck for hours last night, but she couldn't find him. He didn't even show up for school today, and that was only one more reason for Tori to be worried. She wasn't mad at him. She knew that she had provoked him. She knew that there was anger in him related to that memory, and yet she pushed his buttons, causing him to snap. She swallowed hard as she remembered what happened last night, her sore throat being more than a good reminder for it. She came back home late that night, and sleep was again something that did not want to come and save her from this reality just for a few hours.

She tried to call him, but his phone was turned off. A million of horrible ideas went through her mind last night about what he could have done to himself. As much as she tried to get that thought out of her mind, she couldn't prevent herself from thinking about the worst possibilities the most. What if he had done something stupid? What if he had hurt himself out of guilt? What if he got drunk or got mugged while he was wandering alone through the streets of LA that late at night? She hoped that she was wrong with all of them. She hoped that he wasn't here just because he didn't want to face her right now. That would be the best solution. She wanted to see him. To tell him that she isn't mad; that she doesn't blame him. She wanted to explain to him how she knew about his visits and how he can trust her. She just wanted to make sure that her friend is okay, but she learned from the past few weeks that good things don't happen to her anymore.

She swallowed hard again, almost wincing in pain. When she looked in the mirror earlier today, she froze out of shock at the choking marks on her throat. She spent half an hour trying to cover it with make up, but no matter how much she tried, make up couldn't cut it, so she settled with the next best thing. She took one of Trina's purple scarves and wrapped it around her throat, covering it completely. She was glad that nobody saw her that evening. She didn't know what her father would have done if he had seen her.

She looked up and saw Andre lifting one of the boxes before handing them to one of their colleagues who was standing on a platform they set up. He turned around and saw her looking his was. She saw him say something to the guy before turning around and walking towards her. She grew nervous. She didn't want to talk to him right now. He was her best friend and he would know that something had happened. He would ask her what it was and she couldn't lie to him. He knew her better than anyone, even Cat, and he would see through any lie or story she could come up with in a heartbeat.

"Hey. Why are you sitting here by yourself?" He asked her as he stood next to her. When she didn't answer or even look at him, he sat down on the chair next to her. "Girl, talk to me."

"Nothing. I'm just tired. I was up all night and I'm very tired." She explained.

"Then go home and get some rest." He said as he put his hand on her back and gently rubbed circles on it.

"I can stay here, don't worry. I just need some time to clear my head. I get all slow and dumb when I'm tired." She said as she finally looked at him and gave him the best smile she could. He looked at her, and as she predicted, he knew that something was wrong. It wasn't only because he knew her so well. Yes, she was an actress, a good one too, but he was an actor himself, and that means that he can tell the difference between real emotions and the ones acted out.

"Why didn't you get any sleep? What did you think about?" Andre asked, not wanting to let go so easily.

Tori knew that she was backed in a corner now. She didn't want to tell him what happened. She couldn't tell him what happened. Beck was one of Andre's best friends. They've known each other for years now, and she couldn't do that to him. After everything he has been through, she couldn't just let him find out something that could break him again.

"I'll be right back." Tori said as she got up quickly and hurried out of the theatre. She rushed to the bathroom and sat down in one of the stalls. She leaned on the wall and tried to calm down. She was grateful that the toilet was empty, since classes were still going on. She tried to come up with anything plausible she could tell Andre, anything so he would stop questioning her. She knew that running away like that was not the smartest thing to do, especially when he was suspicious that something had happened, but what else could she do.

She heard the bathroom door open and close. She knew that he would follow her and wanted to buy herself at least some time to think of something.

"Tori?" She heard him call. She sighed before she opened the door of the stall and walked outside. She looked at Andre as he walked towards her, stopping right in front of her. He didn't ask anything. He didn't say anything. He just stood her, waiting for her to finally tell him what was going on. She swallowed hard again, her throat aching from what happened yesterday and the fact that she was one step away from bursting out in tears in front of Andre.

She saw his expression change from patient to curious. He must have seen her barely able to swallow that gulp. She saw him look at her scarf. His lips opened just that little bit as if he wanted to ask her something, but he didn't. Instead, he slowly reached for the scarf. Tori took his hand before he could reach it.

"Andre…" She said in a barely audible voice. He looked at her, and that moment he was sure that he was on to something.

"Don't try to lie to me again." He said in a calm, understanding tone. She looked at him as her eyes filled with tears and her hand let go of his. He took the end of the scarf and slowly unwrapped it from her throat. His eyes grew wide, his caring, yet curious expression leaving his face and being replaced with shock when he saw the blue and purple marks on her throat.

"T-Tori, what happened?" He stuttered as he put his hands on her shoulder. She wanted to say something, she wanted to explain to him what happened, but no sound would leave her throat. She only shook her hand as she bit down both of her lips in an attempt to silence the sob that wanted to leave her body. She felt two arms wrap around her body as Andre hugged her to his chest. She leaned her head on his shoulder and let go, finally beginning to cry. He held her firmly with one arm while he put his other on the back of her head, gently stroking her hair. They stayed like this for a while, neither saying anything.

Half an hour later, Tori finally calmed down, yet Andre didn't let go. She could only imagine what was going through his head right now, but she was sure that at no point he would even have the idea that it was Beck of all people who did this. But how could she explain to him that it was her fault, not Beck's? How could she get him to understand that he wasn't in his right mind that moment? How could she explain to him that she pushed all of Beck's buttons and didn't think that whole plan through?

"Who did this to you?" Andre asked in a serious voice.

"Andre, please…" She begged, but he wouldn't have any of that.

"Who did this to you?" He asked again, this time in a more serious voice.

"Please, I can't…"

"Tori, who did this to you? Tell me!" He said as he put his hands on her shoulders and moved her away so she would have to look at him.

"I can't tell you. Not now. Please Andre." She pleaded, hoping to get more time. She needed to talk to Beck first. She needed to know everything before she could defend him in front of Andre.

"Alright, but I'm taking you home." Andre said.

"Okay." Tori sighed. Andre gave her back her scarf with which she covered her bruises again.

"Was it your dad?" Andre asked suddenly. Tori looked at him and shook her head no. He let out the breath he was holding, probably in anticipation.

"It wasn't him. It was someone I need to talk to, Andre. I can't tell you more at the moment. Please, understand." Tori said.

"Alright." Andre said after a short pause. He put his hand on the back of her head and planted a soft, warm kiss on her forehead. She hugged him around his chest, grateful that he didn't push the topic further. She pulled away and both made their way out of the bathroom and school while Andre held his arm protectively around Tori's shoulders. They walked towards the end of the parking lot where Andre had parked his car. As they passed by the corner, Tori's eyes landed on someone familiar who was just getting out of his car. She stopped in her tracks, making Andre stop too. She saw Beck lock his car as his eyes met hers. She saw the quilt in his stare. She saw the rings under his eyes. She saw that he was a complete mess, the complete opposite of his usual self. Before she could get herself back under control, Andre had noticed her reaction. Tori saw Andre look at her before his look moved towards the other young man. Andre's eyes grew wide as realization hit him like a ton of bricks. His expression went from shock to seething anger in a heartbeat, and before Tori could even say anything, Andre charged towards Beck.

"Did you do this to her?" Andre asked as he stopped in front of his friend.

"Andre, I…" Beck began, looking down as he didn't want to face Andre's venom gaze.

"Did you do this to her?" Andre asked again, this time with more venom in his voice as he grabbed Beck by the collar of his jacket.

"I… I lost control. I…" Beck began, but before he could finish, Andre pushed him back against the car and his fist connected straight with Beck's jaw. Tori ran towards them, her pace only quickening when she saw Beck drop to the ground, covering his body and head with his arms as Andre continued his assault. Before Andre could seriously hit him again, Tori grabbed his arm and somehow pulled him off. She jumped in front of Andre, not letting him reach Beck again.

"You son of a bitch! You fucking bastard!" Andre screamed as he tried to get past Tori, who wouldn't get out of his way.

"Andre, stop!" Tori finally screamed at him before she slapped him. She gasped after she realized what she had just done before she quickly brought up her hand on her aching, bruised throat. The slap seemed to have brought Andre back to his senses. "It's not his fault Andre!" Tori told him in a weak voice.

"How is it not his fault? Don't tell me that it was an accident! You don't give someone bruises like that on accident!" Andre yelled, not understanding how she could defend Beck.

"I saw a vision of one of his memories and I confronted him last night about it!" Tori said. "I went too far and he snapped." Tori explained.

"A vision?" Beck asked as he got up. He brought his hand up to his busted lip and wiped away the blood. "What vision?"

"Beck… for weeks now… I can see a memory if I have physical contact with someone, and one day, when you were helping me up, I saw a vision of you sitting in a hospital room with a woman and then asking the doctor about her. That's how I know, Beck. I should have told you that last night. I'm sorry." Tori explained.

"H-how?" was the only thing that left Beck's mouth.

"I don't know. One day… it just happened, and it has been haunting me for weeks. I… I saw the doctor tell you that they are doing the best they can, but that your mother, I don't know how that's possible, but he said that she wouldn't recover." Tori finished.

"What?" Andre asked as he looked at Tori before his eyes darted back at the young Canadian who leaned back against his car.

"I-I don't know how that's possible. I met your parents, and…"

"They are not my parents." Beck said.

"Oh god…" Tori said.

"Wait, so Karen and Peter aren't your parents?" Andre asked. Beck only shook his head.

"My father died in a car crash before I was born. He drove trucks over the ice road, up north. During one of those deliveries, he got off the road and on thin ice. The ice broke and his truck sunk into the cold water. He drowned before he could even get out of the truck. My mother was eight months pregnant at that time. When she got the news, she broke apart. She gave birth to me two weeks later." Beck explained.

"Beck, I'm so sorry." Tori said, not believing what he had just told her.

"How did you end up with your... the people you live with now?" Andre asked.

"My mother did not take my dad's passing well. She tried to take her life, to hang herself, but her, Karen, found her and managed to get her down and call the ambulance before it was too late. While she was in the hospital, someone had to take care of me, so Karen and Peter took me in. Since my mother wasn't mentally able to raise me, at least that's what the court decided, they wanted to send me to an orphanage, but my aunt and uncle opted to adopt me instead. We moved to LA a year later because they thought that we all should start over. But they were very open about my past. They told me everything that had happened and when I wanted to visit my biological mother, we would go and visit her and the rest of our relatives."

"But… why is she in the hospital?" Tori asked, not able to figure out that final part.

"Well, that's the fun part." Beck said sarcastically. "My mother had zero interest in any of us. She didn't care about any of us anymore. I don't know what screw got loose in that fucked up head of hers, but she changed completely after that. She began sleeping around, going to parties and what not, even when I was visiting. I remember they let me stay with her one night when I was ten years old after I begged them for hours. She almost overdosed that night in the room next to me. I found her on the bed next to needles and all sorts of shit I don't even want to remember. The doctors saved her again, and again, once she got out, she continued doing them. Four years ago, just after I found out that I got into Hollywood Arts, we got a phone call from Canada. She got hooked to meth, and that shit fried her brain completely."

"Oh god." Tori heard Andre say.

"So they put her into a hospital?" Tori asked. Beck nodded in response.

"They sent her to rehab more than once, but she always got herself thrown out. In the end, she ended up in an asylum under constant suicide watch. I've been visiting her for years now. That's why I am so often up there. There, Tori. That's the person who I'm visiting. That's the person you claim to have seen in your visions or whatever. Are you happy now?" Beck asked. Tori saw the anger rise in him again as he told the story. She could her it in his voice. But she also saw that he was falling apart while he was telling it. She could hear desperation and grief through all the anger that coated it.

"Why would you say that? Do you think that it makes me happy that you went through something like this?" Tori asked. Beck sighed as he brought his hand to his temples and began massaging them.

"Why did you attack her?" Andre asked.

"Andre…" Tori pleaded, but Andre shook his head in disagreement.

"No, I want to know. Why did you attack her? Why did you snap at her?" Andre insisted.

"Because I snap whenever I think of my mother! I snap whenever I think of the women who abandoned her only child! That's why I snapped!" Beck yelled out before his voice breaking at the end.

"Andre, please, I need to talk to him." Tori said.

"What? And leave you with him alone? What if he attacks you again?" Andre argued.

"I won't. I swear to everything you want me to, I won't lay a finger on her." Beck said. Andre looked at him and then back at Tori. He let out a long sigh as he thought what to do.

"Alright. But if you lay a finger on her again, I will fucking end you." Andre said as he turned around and walked back into school. Tori let out a sigh of relief as she looked after him. She turned around and saw Beck leaning on his car.

"I'm sorry." She heard him say. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Tori. You know that I would never want to do that. But I…" Beck tried to explain, but he didn't know how. Tori understood. She knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He couldn't say that he would never hurt her, because he did, and she also knew that the guilt was tearing him apart.

"It's me who has to apologize, Beck." She said as she walked up to him.

"Tori..:"

"I went too far, I can't deny that. I should not have confronted you like that. I… I knew that you were angry about that memory, I felt it, and yet I did what I did. I didn't plan that one through." Tori said.

"It's just… I see people like Jade and now you, I know you are dealing with a lot of bullshit with your families, but… I never even had a chance at a family. My dad died, my mother just abandoned me like that. When she tried to hang herself for the first time… I was in the same room with her. I was barely two weeks old, Tori. I saw her almost kill herself twice. I'm just glad I don't remember the first time it happened. And now she is basically an empty shell in a hospital. I'm angry, Tori. I'm angry at her because of what she did to herself, what she put all of her family through. I'm angry at her because she didn't stop for a moment to think about what she was doing to everyone else. All she did was drown in her own self pity and use it to dodge all responsibilities." Beck explained.

"And yet you visit her." Tori said.

"I always hope to get an answer to why she did all that. Why she never wanted to recover. Why she threw all the chances people gave her away like that. That's all I want to know, but I never will." Beck said.

"I'm so sorry, Beck. But you have a family who loves you. You have your friends. We all love you, you know that, right?" Tori said. Beck smiled up a little.

"I don't think Andre does anymore." Beck said.

"He will forgive you. It was all too much for him too. Give him some time. I'm sure he'll come round. I'll talk to him about it." Tori said, trying to reassure Beck that everything is going to be fine.

"Why can't I just let it go?" Beck asked, looking at the girl who always seemed to have answers for everything.

"I don't know Beck. Maybe we are just stupid for holding on to things that hurt us in the past. I can only tell you what you guys told me to do about my problems. Talk to us, and let us help you. Maybe then we can find an answer." Tori said. "And I also don't want you to feel guilty about last night anymore, Beck. I won't bring it up ever again in front of you and you shouldn't either." Tori said.

"I can't just…"

"There is no point in it. The important thing is that you finally told Andre and I the truth. It's a start, and that's what is important." Tori said.

"Alright. If you say so. But about those visions, is it true?" Beck asked.

"It is."

"How is that possible?" Beck asked.

"I don't know. They just happen. How else could I know?" Tori asked.

"That's what I wonder too. But you wouldn't make things up like that. Not you. I believe you." Beck said.

"Thank you." Tori said.

"No, thank you for forgiving me. I promise…"

"I know." Tori said. She knew what he was going to say. She knew what he was going to promise her, and she knew that he would keep his word. Right now, she was only happy that she might have helped him start his journey to recovery.


	19. A little distraction

"_How's your throat now?" _Cat asked through the phone. After Tori talked to Beck she went back to the Blackbox theatre, hoping that Sikowitz wouldn't punish her for leaving the class without even asking him. Luckily for her, he didn't mind one bit, one of the many positive characteristics of the teacher. It might not be fair to the other students, but for his darlings, the ones who are the most talented and, in fact, participate actively both in class and during projects, he was willing, ready and able to look the other way. And since Tori was one of his best students, he gladly did so. Once school was over, she went home and after a few minutes of contemplating, she called Cat to tell her what happened. The redhead had helped her so often by now that Tori felt almost obligated to tell her what had happened.

"It's a bit better. I can cover the bruises with a scarf, that's not the issue, but it still hurts when I swallow or try talk a bit louder." Tori said.

"_Did you talk to Andre? I can't believe that he punched Beck." _Cat said. "_They were so good friends, and now this." _Cat said, a small sigh escaping her at the end.

"I wanted to talk to him, but he was avoiding me. I'll try to call him later. I'm worried about him too." Tori said. "I need to talk him into talking to Beck again. I don't want them to stop being friends. It was my fault, I mean… I provoked Beck…"

"_Stop saying that." _Cat said through her phone. "_It wasn't your fault. Nobody thought that Beck could react that way. How could anyone? He's been hiding it so well, you can't blame yourself." _Cat said.

"I should have known better." Tori said.

"_How?_"

"I… I…" Tori tried to come up with something.

"_Exactly. Now stop blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault. You are not mad at Beck, and Andre will forgive him too, just give it some time._" Cat said.

"I hope so. I don't want people to lash out on him now. He's been through so much already." Tori said.

"_You can't expect everyone to act as if it didn't happen, either._" Cat said.

"I know… Are you mad at him?" Tori asked, wondering if Andre's reaction was the natural one.

"_I am."_ Cat said after a few seconds of silence.

"Cat..:"

"_Tori, he hurt you. In anger or not, he hurt you, and I am angry for that. I'm angry that he lost control of himself and attacked you, a close friend. How would you feel if he did the same to me, under the same circumstances, but if I was the one attacked, and you were the friend?_" Cat asked. Tori bit her lips as she tried to come up with an answer, but she knew exactly how she would feel, and there was no use claiming the opposite.

"I would be angry. Very angry." Tori said.

"_And that is exactly how I feel now. But if you can forgive Beck, then so can I. But as I said, we all might need some time._" Cat explained.

"I understand. Just please, don't cut him out. For me." Tori said. She knew that she was pretty much playing the guilt card now, but she was desperate, and she wanted things to go back to normal as soon as possible, or at least to be as normal as possible.

"_Alright. For you._" Cat said. A small smile formed on the edge of Tori's lips.

"Thank you." Tori said.

"_No problem. If you need some company, I can come over._" Cat said.

"Thank you. But I'll just watch a movie and go to bed early." Tori said. She was exhausted, physically and mentally, and she hoped that she would catch some sleep.

"_Kaykay. See you tomorrow. Good night._" Cat said.

"See you. Goodnight." Tori said as she ended the call. She leaned back on her couch and surfed through the channels, hoping to find anything interesting on TV. As she was switching the channels, she heard a knock on the door. She wondered who it was. Trina and her dad had no reason to knock, and she had not invited anyone else over. She took the scarf off the couch and wrapped it around her neck again, just to be sure. She walked towards the door. She wondered if it was Andre who wanted to talk to her now. However, as she opened the door, she was more than surprised at who was standing in front of her.

"Jade?" Tori said in disbelief as she looked at the other girl. Jade's expression was serious. She had her arms crossed over her chest and Tori noticed her concerned stare. "What are you doing here? Did something happen?" Tori asked, worried about the fact that Jade hadn't said anything yet. She didn't get an immediate answer though. She saw Jade uncross her arms before she lifted her right arm up and moved it towards Tori. She took the edge of Tori's scarf in her hand and slowly began taking it off.

"Jade, what are you?" Tori wanted to ask when Jade took the scarf off, revealing the purplish bruises on Tori's neck.

"God damn it." Jade uttered when she saw the bruises. Tori stood there, not able to move or say anything. The last person she expected was standing in front of her right now, and even worse, she knew about the bruises. Did someone see them talking on the parking lot? She knew that if even one person saw it, the whole school would probably know the next day.

"Jade…" Tori wanted to say something, anything really, but she couldn't. She then saw Jade lift her hand towards her throat, and before she could react in any way, she felt Jade's fingertips trace the bruises on her throat. Tori hissed at the sudden pain. Jade's hand immediately shot back as Jade looked at her.

"I can't believe it." Jade said as she shook her head. "I mean, I heard it and all that, but I can't believe that he did this to you." Jade said, traces of anger and sadness mixing in her voice.

"It's not what you think. It was my fault. I did something I shouldn't have done." Tori said, trying to come up with something believable. She couldn't tell Jade about her ability yet. She was sure that Jade would just call her crazy if she did.

"No. It isn't your fault." Jade said as she walked past Tori into the house. Tori closed the door before she turned around. Jade threw her bag to the ground and looked back at the half Latina.

"How did you find out?" Tori asked, hoping to find out some details she could work with so she could come up with something.

"Well, Beck came to my place two hours ago. He told me." Jade said.

Tori felt her knees almost give in from under her. She suddenly felt light headed. She found it harder to breathe. Beck told her what happened. Beck must have told her everything, including what Tori had told him. She never asked him to keep it a secret. There was way too much going on that moment for her to remember to tell him not to tell anyone.

"I… I can explain." Tori began, hoping that her mind would cooperate just this once tonight, because recently, she swore it did everything it could to screw her over.

"How stupid can he be? He leaves such a note on the table and then he gets mad when someone reads it? I can't believe I dated that moron for two years." Jade said as she sat down on the couch.

"Note?" Tori asked, wondering what Jade was talking about.

"Stop playing dumb with me, Vega. I know what happened to his parents. His real ones. He told me not an hour ago. But I can't believe he would do… this" she said as she pointed towards Tori's throat "to you for reading the medical report the doctor had given him. I mean… of course anyone is going to ask questions about that. Oh, that stupid son of a…" Jade wanted to curse, but held herself back, remembering what happened to his real mother.

Tori felt as if a boulder got lifted off of her. Beck didn't tell Jade about the visions. He covered it up himself. She wanted to go and hug him for that. She sat down on the couch next to Jade.

"Don't blame him, please. I pushed for answers when I shouldn't have. I provoked him. I made him do this." Tori said. "I don't want you or anyone else to do anything against him because of this. If I'm not angry, no one else should be." Tori said.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't tell me that before." Jade said.

"Why?"

"It felt good to knee him somewhere where it hurts him. That might teach him a lesson about putting his hands on you." Jade said with a smirk.

"You didn't?" Tori gasped.

"Oh, yes I did." Jade said with a smile. "He knows that he deserved that one."

"Oh god." Tori uttered. She didn't want anything to happen to Beck. She tried to make that clear to everyone. However, that still couldn't stop that small smile that managed to form on the edge of her lips. It's not that she was mad at Beck. It was more that she never realized how much she really mattered to her friends and what they were willing to do to anyone who hurt her. But she was even more surprised about Jade doing that to a guy who she dated for two years and who Tori knew Jade loved very much.

"Well, now that this issue is dealt with, how about you and I watch a movie." Jade suggested.

"Sure." Tori agreed. She knew what Jade was trying to do. Instead of talking to Tori about it or anything like that, she just wants to offer a form of distraction from what has been going on. And right now, Tori welcomed any form of distraction. "Did you have anything in mind?" Tori asked.

"Well, I always have…" Jade began as she reached for her bag, but Tori knew what she wanted to say.

"No. We are not watching any of your sick, twisted, demented horror movies!" Tori said. Jade immediately stopped searching in her bag and leaned back on the couch.

"Alright. Then I have no idea." Jade said as she crossed her arms over her chest in disappointment. Tori rolled her eyes as she got up and walked to her TV cabinet. She opened it and took out a box full with DVD's, carried it to the couch and put it down next to the Goth.

"Pick one." Tori said as she sat back down. Jade looked into the box and took out two dvd cases.

"Nope. Boring. Dumb. Stupid…" Jade uttered at every movie she took out before lazily tossing it aside. Tori watched Jade empty the box in a minute while the living room was now decorated with dvd cases lying on the table, couch, chairs. A few even managed it to under the piano.

"I guess no movies tonight." Tori deadpanned.

"Well, it's not my fault that you got nothing interesting here." Jade said as she threw the empty box behind herself. "Wow, Vega, your place is a mess." Jade said.

"But… I…"

"I'm kidding. Gosh, I'll pick them all up later, don't worry. I'm just trying to cheer you up, that's all." Jade said with a smirk. Tori sighed in response.

"I really never know what to think of you." Tori said.

"What do you mean?" Jade asked.

"One day, you seem to hate my guts more than anything, the next day, you seem to be my best friend and care about me, and then barely a few hours later you are back to hating my guts. I'm sorry; I just never know what to think of your words or actions." Tori explained.

"Vega, we've known each other for years now. What is there you don't understand? I'm a moody person. I say and do things depending on how I feel that moment." Jade said.

"So it's a game of luck with you? I mean, the last few days, you have been nothing but supportive. You've helped me out so much. Then, yesterday at school, you basically told me off, and now suddenly you are here again. I just… I don't want to think that everything is fine between us and then, I say something and everything goes to hell… I..." Tori stopped, not knowing what else she could say.

"Damn it, Vega, why can't you get into that thick skull of yours that I do care about you and that nothing that you say can change that." Jade said, making Tori look at her. "Do you have any idea how concerned I was about you when I heard what Beck did? The idea of anyone else hurting you now makes me sick to my stomach. The only thing that stopped me from hurting him more for hurting you was that Andre already did it before I could. And he's I wasn't the one to find him first." Jade said.

"Look, if you care about me, if I really mean anything to you, don't do anything to Beck. Don't talk about what happened, nothing. Please." Tori pleaded. Jade sighed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Alright. I'm sure that's what you are going to tell everyone anyway." Jade said.

"Well, only Robbie is left now." Tori said.

"Yeah, because if you don't Robbie might club Beck to death with Rex." Jade said. "Oh, is that a smile I'm seeing." Jade said as she looked at Tori, who covered her mouth to conceal the wide smirk.

"How can't I smile at that idea?" Tori asked, imagining Robbie doing kung fu moves with Rex as his weapon. "Thank you for cheering me up."

"No problem. You've done the same a few time. Well… you've tried."

"Can I ask you something?" Tori asked. She saw Jade's smile fade away.

"You want to ask me about yesterday." Jade said.

"You really do know me." Tori said. "Jade, please understand me too. You have been such a great support, and I want to do something to help you too."

"Why?" Jade asked, looking at the other girl. "Because you feel like you owe me? You don't owe me anything. You don't need to act like this because you feel like you need to do something for me in return."

"That has nothing to do with it. Jade, you mean so much to me. Why do you think did I always try to befriend you, no matter what? Why do you think did I always let you get away with everything you've done?" Tori asked.

"Okay. I'll tell you. My dad and I… had a big fight on Monday. We argued for a long time. He… he wants to marry his girlfriend." Jade explained.

"Oh. Is she that bad?" Tori asked.

"You can't imagine. I hate that bitch." Jade said.

"What did she do?"

"She is doing everything she can to drive my father away from me and everyone else. I ask him to come watch one of my plays again, and the few times he does agree, she comes up with a place she wants him to take her exactly that day. And that's just one of the many things she does." Jade explained.

"Did you try to tell your dad that?" Tori asked.

"Of course I did. But he thinks that I'm jealous of her; that I'm making things up because I don't want him to be happy either. He is so blind when he's around her. That woman has him wrapped around her little finger and he still denies it." Jade said.

"I can't imagine a West being so stubborn." Tori said. She heard Jade let out a chuckle.

"What a great combination. Two thick heads in the same house. I wonder what can go wrong there." Jade snarled.

"Well, in a few months you will be out of there. College in a new town, new people and no parents to screw up our lives with their bullshit." Tori said.

"That sounds so great. I just hope I'll be able to stay sane those last few months there."

"You lasted so long; I don't think a few months more will even matter. Maybe things will get better during them. Who knows?"

"They won't. I know." Jade said. "Look, I'm tired of all the shit parents do. Go, pick out a movie from the ones lying around the house."

"I can pick?" Tori asked.

"Yeah, be glad you can. Cat is the only one who had that privilege before." Jade said.

"You know what? Let's watch that horror movie you brought." Tori said. A small smile formed on the edge of Jade's lips. She took the case out of her bag and got up. She placed the dvd in the dvd player and took the remote. She sat down next to Tori and pressed play. "How scary is it?" Tori asked.

"Well, to me, it's okay. To you? I'm sure you'll have your eyes shut most of the time." Jade said.

"They call a movie Hatchet?" Tori asked, looking at the name as it popped up on the screen.

"It's a double dvd. The sequel is on it too. It's even bloodier." Jade said.

"Well, it's not like I'm not used to sleepless nights." Tori said. Then, she felt an arm wrap around her and pull her closer. She saw Jade pick up one of the blankets that were on the edge of the couch and cover them both with it.

"Don't worry. Nothing can harm you when I'm here." Jade said. Tori smiled and leaned her head on Jade's shoulder.

"Maybe the movie won't be that bad." Tori said.

**A/N: I must have rewritten this chapter a dozen times by now. I guess twelve time is the charm for me. I hope you like it. **


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